PGage wrote:
> On Mon, Oct 20, 2008 at 6:50 PM, Thomas Allen Heald, Esquire
> <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>> ===
>> And when Chevy Chase says you have no comedic material on a new
>> millennium Weekend Update appearance ... you have no comedic material.
> 
> That is the Fat Man calling Little Boy a big bomb.
> 
> It is a bit harsh though. I think Sarah Palin is the great whore of
> Babylon, but even I would not put her in the same league of Update
> disasters as Chevy Chase's last effort...

October 6th, 2007

Seth Meyers: While the 2008 election is still more than a year off, the 
campaign is already well underway. Here now with an in-depth look is our 
former Senior Political Correspondent, Chevy Chase. [Very loud and 
lengthy applause]

Chevy Chase: [On phone] You're my son; I love you. You're going blind? 
You are doing it right. I gotta go. [Hangs phone up] Good evening, I 
still am, you're still not. [Applause] Thank you Bob.

[Reads news sheet upside down] ...Oh. In a startling moment during 
Wednesday's democratic debate, former Senator Mike Gravel's head 
exploded. Then in a chain reaction spreading from one candidate's lector 
to the next, John Edwards' hair parted itself on the opposite side, 
Barack Obama's ears flapped uncontrollably, Hilary Clinton shot up in 
the polls, and Dennis Kucinich simply...vanished, leaving his little 
blue suit displayed out over the podium.

On Tuesday, Barack Obama posed a plan to eliminate all the nuclear 
weapons in the world. Noble idea. He also hosts to save the polar ice 
caps, whales, make love and not war, and to buy the world a Coke.

Let's take a closer look at the Republican candidates, shall we? 
[Examines photo of Republican candidates from left to right] Okay then.

As we trail along, we must remember the key states of South Carolina, 
New Hampshire, Florida and Tennessee.

Former Senator and actor Fred Thompson said Monday that he'd been 
certain of Saddam Hussein's Weapons of Mass Destruction prior to 2003's 
lead invasion. He added...[Falls asleep and snores] During which his 
subordinates filed out for pigs in a blanket.

While campaigning out in New Hampshire, Rudy Guiliani stated that his 
cores for his votes are evangelical voters, because he appeals on 
religious issues. While Mormons can relate to him because he's had a few 
wives, Catholics can appeal to him because his son hates him. Rudy finds 
the idea of abortion morally repugnant, but feels that women should have 
the right to choose to divorce him.

Meanwhile, Mitt Romney, pulling ever-so-close in the polls, admitted 
that his name is indeed Rubber Mittens, and he does indeed comb his hair 
with olive oil and a fork.

Hillary Clinton's campaign announced last Monday that her campaign 
raised over $27 million in the last quarter, much of it legally.

Clinton now leads Rudy Guiliani 51% to 43%. This is causing the former 
mayor to appear in a sound bite with a surgical mask, shoulders covered 
in dust, saying "What happened? Call the cops! Am I on camera? Is this 
thing on?"

Earlier, I used the term "pigs in a blanket" while referring to Fred 
Thompson, and I don't know what came over me. I apologize. [A photo of 
Fred Thompson in a blanket appears; Chase imitates a pig oinking] And 
that's politics. Back to you Fred!

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