I have to disagree with the claim that "none of the above interfaces 
exist".

I'm currently in conversation with someone who has achieved connectivity 
from Perl>PHP>D3 in order to have a type of web store.

I'm going to be looking at this to make the mods necessary to make it Perl>
PHP>Universe.  It uses some kind of class, I haven't seen the code yet, but 
why would this not be one of the "above interfaces"?  Or perhaps I'm just 
not understanding what you mean.

As far as dinosaurs.  I think, because I'm starting to work on the history 
of Pick articles, that people are finding me because I'm dragging out of the 
closet such things as .... UPDATE :)

Which by the way, prior to this new prospect, I had not even *heard* of for 
the last ten years, let alone seen.

W
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