The solution to this issue is banally simple actually... There is no
point reinstalling grub over and over again (which I did) or use Boot-
Repair to death... You just need to give Grub what it asks for.

So I went and edited /etc/grub.d/05_debian_theme, adding the last line
below:

set_default_theme(){
        case $GRUB_DISTRIBUTOR in
                Tanglu|Ubuntu|Kubuntu)
                        # Set a monochromatic theme for Tanglu/Ubuntu.
                        echo "${1}set menu_color_normal=white/black"
                        echo "${1}set menu_color_highlight=black/light-gray"
                        echo "${1}set 
grub_term_highlight_color=black/light-gray"

running "sudo update-grub" after that did the trick, and I am now
writing from a fully functional Xubuntu 14.04.

I would however like to stress my disappointment and frustration about
how appalling it is of Canonical/Ubuntu to release an LTS with such a
stupid bug in it on such a fundamental piece of software. Furthermore,
there is no documentation to be found anywhere online on what the bloody
"grub_term_highlight_color" is supposed to do. Lucikily, a simple test
solved the issue.

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https://bugs.launchpad.net/bugs/1289977

Title:
  Ubuntu 14.04 Update breaks grub, resulting in "error: symbol
  'grub_term_highlight_color' not found"

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