this is what got my system working again:
* ssh in from remote
* delete existing /etc/X11/xorg.conf (this step may not have been needed)
* download from nvidia.com the NVIDIA-Linux-*.run for your hardware and
copy it to your PC (I did it with a second PC and transfered via scp)
* run the NVIDIA-Linux-*.run
* Follow the instructions
* reboot
adapted from http://ubuntuforums.org/showpost.php?p=8194624&postcount=8
--
upgrade breaks graphic drivers and x, preventing login or startx
https://bugs.launchpad.net/bugs/464591
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