This is what you'll get:
"Don't tell me how to raise my kids."
Then what?
A similar problem was encountered where I live: the mother did not like
being "told what to do" one bit, and reacted with hostility, and potentially
with violence, if the "one who knew better" did not back off.
I heard that what's in the dog is in the pup.
Or that you can take the kid out of the city, but you can't take the city
out of the kid.
If you can't change the parents, you won't have much success with the kids.
Thanks,
John Ellingsworth
Virtual Curriculum
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----- Original Message -----
From: "Elizabeth F. Campion" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Cc: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Tuesday, August 21, 2001 11:23 AM
Subject: Re: Inconsiderate & Loud Neighbors
>
> Dear Earlene,
>
> Thank you for bringing up the issues of
>
> noise / nuisance
>
> and
>
> child neglect.
>
> At 46, I do not consider myself "older" - but I was made cranky and
> physically ill by sleep disturbances that were the result of a neighbor
> who put barking dogs in a yard facing my bedroom window at frequent, but
> not always consistent times, as late as after Midnight and as early as 6
> AM. This went on for almost 2 years, until I found the keys (threats?)
> to help him conform to law and apparent courtesy. I never got an
> apology, but... the dogs are now put out after 7 AM and taken in before
> 11 PM most days.
>
> I imagine that hearing children at 1:30 AM could be even worse, because
> it is not just one's own lost sleep that is at stake.
>
> I was a "Single-Working" mother for the three years it took my Larry to
> finish his Ph.D. at Roswell in Buffalo, NY.
> I am still very sensitive to the burden single mothers have.
> I hold mental lists of things I wish I could have done better for myself
> and my kids.
> I am reluctant to "criminalize" maternal behaviors (especially where Dad
> seems to be getting a pass) yet I am certain that every child deserves at
> least some MINIMUM standard of care which includes:
>
> 1. Adequate and appropriate Food.
> Dr. Pepper in a baby bottle is NEVER appropriate.
> 2. Decent Shelter.
> Floors that have been swept, beds and linen that are clean.
> 3. Clean, dry clothing.
> For babies - a diaper and a generic cotton T-shirt are adequate.
> 4. Constant supervision with mature direction and
> 5. Sufficient undisturbed sleep for growth and healing.
>
> I had good parents who set imposing standards for me to follow.
> I have exceeded some of those standards (by virtue of larger income
> divided among fewer family members) and failed miserably at others. My
> "Stay Home Mom" directed 11 kids safely through the teen years and to
> college scholarships. Most of us completed college requirements in 4
> years. A few "dropped out" and went back to college later. And a few
> went on to professional degrees and careers. Even though we were closely
> watched, we were actually more self sufficient than my own kids. All of
> us could get our homework done, succeed at school, cook, clean, roller
> skate, bike swim, play cards, serve guests at a party and do rudimentary
> repairs and gardening before we left the nest. I try to remember how my
> mother did it, and conclude
> I never saw her sleep (until we were grown and she was old and ill) and
> I am awed by her energy and successes.
>
> So, How do we
>
> Help you / ourselves to the peaceful use of our homes, and
>
> Help these children (and their mother) to a proper schedule and basic
> needs?
>
> I know the problems of inadequate sleep and supervision are not limited
> to large families &/or sub-poverty children.
> And, I assume your problem family is not on the PFSNI list.
> So, how do we share the input you gather with people who probably won't
> read, and with whom the barriers of anger, frustration and worry make
> direct communication difficult?
>
> Is everything a DHS or 911 problem?
>
> I tend to jump too quickly to a child's defense.
> Later, I fear the kid suffered reprisal once I was gone.
> I've consoled myself that the parent will at least learn / practice some
> caution, and the kid will recognize his own situation may not be "normal"
> - may even be "bad" and than have the tools of hope and /or curiosity to
> discover better standards and methods. But, I would like to hear some
> sound advice with contact people, agencies and numbers.
>
> I hope the list wires burn as hot for kids and sleep as it did for the
> USPO.
>
> Thanks again Earlene,
>
> All the best!
> Liz
>
> Elizabeth Campion - Neighbor & Real Estate Broker
> E-Mail : [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Direct & VM: 215-790-5653 / Cell Phone (for emergencies only):
> 215-880-2930
> Mail to : P.O. Box 23632 / Phila, Pa 19143
> PRUDENTIAL, FOX & ROACH - Reception:215-546-0550, Shared Fax:
> 215-546-9781
> Office at 210 W. Rittenhouse Sq., Suite # 406 / Phila, Pa 19103
>
>
>
> On Tue, 21 Aug 2001 09:53:33 -0400 "Craig, Earlene"
> <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes:
> > Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with new
> > neighbors
> > who are loud and inconsiderate of older people and neighbors in
> > general. We
> > have new neighbors whose children are out late at night running up
> > and down
> > the street as late/early as 1:30 AM. Many of the neighbors have
> > spoken to
> > the children, some are teenagers around 15 or 16 yrs. old. Some are
> > as
> > young as probably 9 or 10. I went out at 11:30 last night and asked
> > them to
> > be quiet and that it is very disturbing when all you can hear is
> > loud
> > noises, screaming in front of my house. They were quiet until I
> > closed the
> > door and it started over again. The only way I have been successful
> > in
> > drowning out the noise is either turning on the air conditioner in
> > my
> > bedroom or sleeping in the basement.
> >
> > Many of the neighbors, including myself, have talked to the
> > mother of
> > the children, but to no avail. This is the house/porch where most
> > of the
> > other children congregate, by the way many of the children don't
> > live on our
> > block. Some of the time she is not at home, and other times she is
> > in the
> > house when all of this commotion is going on. I have resisted
> > calling the
> > police, that would be my last recourse.
> >
> > I would appreciate any suggestions that you can give. I am in
> > need of
> > sleep, since I get up at 5:30 AM and I have to be at work by 7:00AM.
> > When I
> > go out in the morning it is so quiet and peaceful, yes, my
> > understanding is
> > that they sleep late into the day.
> >
> > P.S. I forgot to tell you, they are renters.
> >
> > Earlene Craig
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