Wilma,
I respect both your approach, and Melani's. I don't think that
sexist, racist, etc. offlist replies intrinsically deserve the cover
of privacy, when they are sent as replies to onlist discussions.
They're as public as the private off color remarks of a politician
caught by some newsperson's still live mike.
Elliot
On 11 Oct 2007, at 7:35 PM, Wilma de Soto wrote:
I’ll tell you what I would do.
I would address the issue and deal with it offline as I have have
done MANY times before.
I would NOT and HAVE not forwarded any private discussions that
attacked me to a public forum. I have NEVER done that! You do not
know the HALF of racial slurs I have dealt with privately; only
those that were posted publicly.
I also would not claim feminism and wail like “The Perils of
Penelope Pitstop” to have my supporters “Sic” the “Bad Traffic and
Bad People”. True feminists deal directly with any male, female or
issue.
I have been in this area for a LONG time; served with all my heart
and soul and money on several community associations and have
endured MANY racial slurs.
NEVER have I sent something to a public forum, without both
parties’ consent and expect my “Gang of Defenders”, to confront
those who picked on me.
It is disrespectful, and tries to intimidate and cow people into
silence because they disagree. The ganging up proves my point.
Should you wish to address ME and what I have done with regard to
posting private email publicly, then do so.
On 10/11/07 7:10 PM, "Elliot M. Stern" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Isn't the forwarded email in question disrespectful? Isn't the
offlist email itself meanspirited and full of spite? Get real,
Wilma! Just what would you do if somebody sent you racial slur
messages off line in response to your postings?
Elliot
On 10 Oct 2007, at 4:16 PM, Wilma de Soto wrote:
Isn’t forwarding private email (no matter how the conservation
went in private) to a public forum without the consent of both
parties disrespectful?
Not only is it disrespectful, it is mean-spirited and full of
spite in as much as it was done with the design to hurt or
belittle the non-consenting person and is just as much a personal
attack as another.
What could be more disrespectful?
I simply cannot believe that because a private conversation was
not going your way, the only it could be addressed was to forward
private email to a public forum. That the issue at hand could not
have been handled privately.
There is no other purpose for doing so except to cause some
degree of harm to the person and/or their reputation.
There has to be a higher road to take to discourage people from
retaliating than to escalate things by stealth counter attack.
It is intimidation, which is a synonym for bullying, in that it
tries to cow people into silence because they disagree and is an
attempt induce a sense of fear or inferiority because they dared
to disagree and promotes “ganging-up” on the other person. All
this falls well into the sphere of bullying.
There HAS to be some other way.
On 10/10/07 10:40 AM, "[EMAIL PROTECTED]" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
In a message dated 10/10/07 1:09:56 AM,
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
the problem is that some people are posting private emails
to the list. this is wrong, especially when it's done
without the author's permission, and it's another example
(along with ad hominem) of people's difficulty grasping the
nature of public discourse and how it is different than
private exchanges.
Ray, there's a huge difference between continuing a discussion
privately offlist in a respectful manner, as you and I have
sometimes done, and insulting or belittling a listserv
participant offlist because of differing opinions onlist.
I don't forward private, sincere, discussion emails related to
the list - I only forward private, off-the-wall, insult emails
related to the list. As I wrote yesterday, that sort of list
behavior (personal attacks, insults) by a few members is a major
reason folks have named for dropping off the list. Several
folks wrote to me yesterday and agreed that sharing the insults
was the right thing to do and hopefully would cut down on
bullying. (And I'm not going to forward their emails!)
Melani Lamond
Melani Lamond, Associate Broker
Urban & Bye, Realtor
3529 Lancaster Ave.
Philadelphia, PA 19104
cell phone 215-356-7266
office phone 215-222-4800, ext. 113
office fax 215-222-1101
**************************************
See what's new at http://www.aol.com
Elliot M. Stern
552 South 48th Street
Philadelphia, PA 19143-2029
United States of America
telephone: 215-747-6204
mobile: 267-240-8418
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Elliot M. Stern
552 South 48th Street
Philadelphia, PA 19143-2029
United States of America
telephone: 215-747-6204
mobile: 267-240-8418
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
