A number of pieces of exciting news have come to light today, and the
users and developers of Struts need to be kept informed, so here are the
tidbits, hot off the wire...
* Struts PMC announces merger with God.
The Struts PMC is proud to announce that Struts will be merging with the
creator of all there is, was and every will be himself! This move will
allow Struts to reach parity with other frameworks by simply having God
"make it so". Of the merger, God, via his publicist The Pope, said
"Well, you know, Struts has fallen behind the times a bit. Well, at
least, that's what I heard on the mailing list, I didn't know that
before. So, since I'm like, you know, omnipotent and all, I thought
that if I merged with Struts then together we could create a really cool
framework that took the best of Struts and the best of everything else
in the universe." God was also quick to explain that he would not be
REPLACING Struts, and that backwards-compatibility with other deities
would be maintained through a compatibility layer. The Struts team for
their part released 10 different statements on what the future of Struts
might be, and fended off a multitude of annoying and self-righteous
users on the mailing lists claiming that they had lost confidence in
their own work and were thus embracing The Lord to "catch up" with the
competition.
* Dakota Jack embraces JSF and rents a flat with Craig McClanahan!
In a stunning change of heart, Dakota Jack today announced that JSF is
"the cat's meow", and Shale could very well be the seeds of a new
religion! Dakota was quoted as saying "Hey, what can you do? I
realized that Spring is an over-engineered piece of trash, and Wicket
needs about ten more years to germinate, and I think JSF is where it's
at. I think it is clear that the component-oriented paradigm is the
future, and the brand-spanking new kid on the block, JSF, is clearly
leading that transformation of thought. And by the way, if you disagree
then you are obviously too green to get it, so I suggest you go off and
do some reading so you know what the CoR and IoC patterns are really all
about, then come back when you grow up." Craig McClanahan, upon hearing
the news reportedly, offered Dakota the opportunity to live with him
(platonically of course!), so that it would be easier for them to
collaborate to spread the word. Craig said "Well, at least now I only
have to pay half-rent!"
* Wendy Smoak has decided to rewrite all Apache projects' build files in
Assembly.
Wendy reportedly described this change as "something that will speed the
build process of all Apache projects tenfold". She further explains: "I
finally looked at how easy Maven was, and I said woah, this is *too*
easy for Apache! And it *is* a little on the slow side, and I realized
the only way to remedy the situation would be to write all the built
scripts in straight x86 Assembly. This will not only speed up all
project builds dramatically, but will also allow developers to work
together more effectively because, well, who doesn't know Assembly these
days?!?". Wendy plans to rewrite all the build scripts, rebuild all
Apache-related web sites and reorganize the source repositories
accordingly by 3:00 EST on Sunday April 2nd (just a bit over 24 hours
from now). About this time delay she said "I'm sorry it will take so
long to implement, I'm a bit under the weather".
* Ted Husted was the cause of a two-hour Internet-wide outage last evening.
Ted mistakenly directed a user to review the "Apache Way" manifesto web
page, but did not realize that the page he referenced references the
page "How to fit in with the rest of us", which references the "PITA and
Troll definitions" page, which references the "If you don't like it,
lump it!" page, which itself references the "Apache Way" manifesto page.
The Apache web servers tried to resolve this circular reference when
the user went to access the first page, which sent out a temporal
displacement wave throughout the root DNS servers, which temporarily
caused them to phase shift out of our universe. Apache administrators
were able to quickly resolve the problem by detonating a yield 6 quantum
flux torpedo, causing a crack in the event horizon that was building up
around the Apache web server cluster, allowing the pent up energies to
be safely released (somewhere in Denmark we hear). Ted was of course
apologetic about the whole incident... sort of... and posted a message
saying "I am sorry for temporarily altering the timeline and fabric of
spacetime, but hey, there was a vote on the PMC mailing list and it got
four +1's, one +0's and no -1's, so the community worked the way it was
supposed to, imminent destruction of the universe be damned!"
* Jonathan Revusky announces his engagement to... himself!
Realizing that he would never find anyone as perfect or right-thinking
as himself, Jonathan decided that the only way he could be happy in life
was to marry himself. Jonathan, being a proponent of "proper"
open-source, will open the ceremony to anyone that is interested in
contributing. Even his wedding party is open to the public! Jonathan
explained his decision by saying "I have been asking for a long time now
why my love life was stagnating, and no one would answer. I guess that
level of introspection is just taboo around here! So, when I finally
realized that my girlfriend lost the competition with my own self, I
knew I had to just tie the note with myself to set things right".
* Frank Zammetti writes a post that is less than 10,000 words long, says
nothing controversial in it, agrees with everyone about everything,
doesn't piss off a PMC member in the process and allows a conversation
to die after just 3 posts in a thread.
Yeah, your right, none of that would EVER happen, so in case you hadn't
guessed by now...
A P R I L F O O L S !!!!
(I hope everyone takes this in the joking spirit it was intended. Don't
read anything into it, it's nothing but an attempt at humor.)
Frank
---------------------------------------------------------------------
To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
