No, no, it makes perfect sense, no sarcasm at all. You should probably remind him about that one upstart colony that had the nerve to rebel. They don't use "real" Imperial, they use something called Customary. Their gallons and bushels and such are all wrong, and they get heavy weights all mixed up too. Some remedial education will be required. :)
My concern is that the sarcasm will be far too subtle for the hardcore pro-Imperial crowd. ________________________________ From: John Frewen-Lord <j...@frewston.plus.com> To: U.S. Metric Association <usma@colostate.edu> Cc: UKMA Metric Association <secret...@metric.org.uk> Sent: Tue, June 8, 2010 5:01:18 AM Subject: [USMA:47561] Re: UK Transport Minister banishes metric in all official communications I've just sent off the following letter to Hammond, cc to David Cameron (prime minister), Nick Clegg (deputy PM) as well as my own MP (also anti-metric). You might notice a trace of sarcasm here and there... Philip Hammond: Secretary of State for Transport Houses of Parliament Dear Mr Hammond: I have just learned that you are proposing to ban all metric measurements from our road transporation system. What a simply brilliant move! We've had far too much of this metric nonsense. I must say, your proposal has already excited my friends and colleagues in Canada, Australia and South Africa, all of whom have emailed me and asked me to confirm that this is true. As you may know, all these three countries (and I believe about 189 other countries) use the metric system on their road signs. How silly is that? But then they're all foreigners, and as you and I both know, foreigners are ignorant. We should have made Canada, Australia and South Africa and all the countries we once owned stick to their imperial road signs - let them know that it is us Brits who know what's best for them. Cheeky upstarts, the lot of them. I will admit that my Canadian, Australian and South African friends and colleagues wondered whether this was a good thing, given Britain's precarious foreign trade situation and all that - one even suggested that this could hurt our exports! What rot! These people need to understand that the world NEEDS British imperial-designed things - far superior to all that metric designed foreign rubbish. Now, having decided that our entire road system will, quite rightly, remain in imperial units, we should do the same with the vehicles on those roads. I mean, it doesn't make sense to have metric cars, buses and lorries on imperial roads, does it? So I believe you should take the next logical step, and allow only imperial designed and manufactured vehicles on British roads. THAT would stop all those nasty foreign vehicles cluttering up our roads - and rejuvenate our car manufacturing industry at the same time. Now I admit this will be a bit of a challenge - every car manufactured anywhere today, including in the USA, is designed in metric. Even our British manufacturers of the day agreed to go metric - how unpatriotic is that? So there might be a few problems (all the bits that go in these cars - things like tyres, light bulbs, minor things like that - are all currently made to metric standards). But nothing that, I'm sure, a goold old bit of British knowhow and ingenuity can't overcome. Show johnny foreigner a thing or two, I'll wager. Of course, with our imperial-only roads and the imperial-only vehicles on them we will have to educate the rest of the world in imperial units - if they want to sell their nasty German, American, Japanese, Korean, French and Italian tin boxes here, that is. What a golden opportunity for our universities! Hundreds of thousands of foreign engineers, designers, professionals of every kind, who all now need to know how many inches in a mile and how many yards in a foot. We all know British education is the best in the world - this will REALLY prove it to all those ignorant foreigners who don't know the difference between a stone and a furlong. Did you know that there are 5.7 billion metric-only foreigners in the world, many of whom now might need to learn imperial measurements? I bet they can't wait to get started! Finally, as you are firmly convinced - and the entire rest of the world will agree with you - that we British should revert to the 19th century imperial measuring system for our entire transportation infrastructure, we should bring back some of the 19th century traffic laws as well. The worst thing we did was repeal the red flag act in 1896 - the one, you may recall, that required a man with a red flag to walk in front of every powered motor vehicle. Do you know what the repeal of that law did to the flag industry in this country? It decimated (sorry, wrong word) - it all but destroyed it! Factories up and down the country making red flags had to shut down. Now, if we brought back that law, all those foreign countries that never had a red flag act would see how wonderful it would be (especially in terms of traffic deaths - we all know that speed kills, don't we? I see signs everywhere telling me so). All those silly metric countries will now enact their own red flag laws, following our superior British imperial lead - and will be beating down our doors wanting to buy our superior, imperial red flags. What a golden day for British industry that will be. Mr Hammond, your proposal to revert to imperial-only represents a truly brilliant piece of strategic thinking - the kind of thinking that we British are noted for. It sends a clear message to the rest of that horrible metric world out there - and will certainly make the rest of the world sit up and take notice! It makes you proud to be British! Well done, sir, and a jolly good show! (With hopefully enough sarcasm to show that I am not serious.) John F-L ----- Original Message ----- >From: Pat Naughtin >To: U.S. Metric Association >Cc: UKMA Metric Association >Sent: Tuesday, June 08, 2010 2:29 AM >Subject: [USMA:47556] Re: UK Transport Minister banishes metric in all >official communications > > >On 2010/06/08, at 05:13 , ezra.steinb...@comcast.net wrote: > >Is this barmy or what? Hammond has clearly gone 'round the bend ... >> >>http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/179560/This-U-turn-on-metric-is-miles-better >> >>Ezra > > >Obviously the Minister is showing his opposition to the English metric system. >See http://www.metricationmatters.com/who-invented-the-metric-system.html >and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lshRAPvPZY > > >How sad. > > >I don't suppose that Secretary Phillip Hammond has considered the complete >trashing of the entire English teaching of mathematics he has just put in >train. As we know teaching multiple methods of measurement will have the >effect of requiring all UK children to spend an extra year studying >mathematics at school to achieve the level of mathematics needed to become a >public servant in Secretary Phillip Hammond's Department. As a foretaste of >the difficulty the UK education system might face see the article: 'The Case >for U.S. Metric Conversion Now' (1992, December 9) by Richard P. Phelps where >he states that: > > >'It (USA education system) teaches two systems of measurement in the schools >and, the confusion from learning two systems aside, there is a cost to the >time spent in teaching two systems. A full year of mathematics instruction is >lost to the duplication of effort. > > >You can view Richard P. Phelps' article after you register on the Education >Weekly database at: >http://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/1992/12/09/14phelps.h12.html > > >Leaving aside Secretary Phillip Hammond's sabotage of all UK schools, he is >also attempting to sabotage all UK industry. His 'leadership' toward the use >of Roman soldiers 'feet' and Roman soldiers 'miles' instead of using the >metric system invented in England will, I have no doubt, re-generate all of >the massively time wasting discussions and disputes about choice of which >measuring methods to use for all jobs in all industries. It will only be very >strong company and industry leadership that will be able to >withstand Secretary Phillip Hammond's government leadership – sadly, the >response to the 'Express' article suggests that many outside his department >will take his direction back to Roman times seriously. > > >If anyone knows Secretary Phillip Hammond's email address, I would appreciate >it if you passed on these two references to him: > > >http://www.metricationmatters.com/who-invented-the-metric-system.html > > >http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lshRAPvPZY > > >Cheers, and thanks to Ezra for passing on this reference, >Pat Naughtin >Author of the ebook, Metrication Leaders Guide, that you can obtain >from http://metricationmatters.com/MetricationLeadersGuideInfo.html >PO Box 305 Belmont 3216, >Geelong, Australia >Phone: 61 3 5241 2008 > > >Metric system consultant, writer, and speaker, Pat Naughtin, has helped >thousands of people and hundreds of companies upgrade to the modern metric >system smoothly, quickly, and so economically that they now save thousands >each year when buying, processing, or selling for their businesses. Pat >provides services and resources for many different trades, crafts, and >professions for commercial, industrial and government metrication leaders in >Asia, Europe, and in the USA. Pat's clients include the Australian Government, >Google, NASA, NIST, and the metric associations of Canada, the UK, and the >USA. See http://www.metricationmatters.com/ to subscribe. > > >
