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>One
>Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of light. On the way he offers
>a lift to a stranger. Stranger: “Sir, can I know your name please”
>Gulshan: “I am Gulshan Grocer”
>Stranger: “Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan Grover?”
>Gulshan: No it is Grocer.
>Now tell me why did Gulshan say so?
>Because at the speed of light V=C.
>
>
>Two
>Which song will a kid sing when he starts going to 1st standard?
>KG kiya re, KG kiya re, Oh KG, KG kiya re....
>
>
>Three
>[ (1) Smoking, (2) Drinking, (3) Charas, (4) Ganja, (5) Chicken, (6) Mutton,
>(7) Oily food, (8) Masala, (9) Sleep & obesity, (10) Pollution ] = Heart
>Attack. What song does this remind you of?
>Dus bahane karke le gaya dil..
>
>
>Four
>Q: What’s the opposite of “Dominoes”?
>A: “Domi doesn’t know”
>
>
>Five
>Q: Whats the opposite of “Pizza Hut”?
>A: “Pizza Hutna mat”
>
>
>Six
>Q: ok whats the opp of “venky’s”?
>A: “venlocks”
>
>
>Seven
>Q: What is the opposite of “Subramnium Swamy”?
>A: “Subramanium Didn’t See Me”.
>
>
>
>Eight
>Q: A guy is traveling in a deluxe car in the desert. He wants to take a bath,
>but he hasn’t got a soap and there is no water anywhere around... what can he
>do?
>A: He will integrate his d-lux car to get Lux + c (constant of integration)
>Using the lux soap he will take bath in the ‘c’.
>
>
>
>Nine
>One day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile, his call gets cross
>connected to some other lady.They still keep on talking... they start liking
>each other... and finally they get married.
>What MORAL do u get???
>>An IDEA can change your wife.
>
>
>
>Ten
>A man went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice. Guess why ?
>Because there it was a message “Number dial karne se pehele do lagae”
>
>
>Eleven
>Ek nadi thi...... uske upar ek pull bana hua tha..... pull par bahut saari
>ladkiyan khadi thi...... sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi..... Guess who
>was the lucky guy??????
>“KISNA”
>Jo hai albela mad naino wala... jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala..... woh kisna
>hai
>
>
>
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>Twelve
>if a CAT crosses ur way , when u are going some where , then what does it mean?
>it means that the Cat is also going somewhere
>
>
>
>Thirteen
>Rahul Gandhi:Mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi hai.
>Sonia Gandhi:Kyun beta?
>Rahul Gandhi:Har taraf to likha hai ki “Sonia ko bahumat do”.
>
>
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>
>Fourteen
>BRUCE LEE was a great man. But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became
>an ordinary man. Why?
>Because he became “MAMU LEE”!
>
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>
>
>Fifteen
>One day, Mickey Mouse asks Donald Duck to tell him Ramayana. Donald duck is
>impressed and starts reading verses from Ramayana. Mickey Mouse continues to
>listen. After completing the whole Ramayan, Donald Duck lets out a big sigh
>and asks Mickey Mouse, “Mickey Mouse, tell me...who was the father of Lord
>Ram?”. Mickey Mouse cannot. Angry, Donald duck, again asks, “ Mickey Mouse!!!
>Tell me...which was the capital of Ram’s kingdom!”. Mickey Mouse cannot answer
>again.
>Infuriated, Donald Duck kicks Mickey Mouse hard, and Mickey Mouse goes and
>collides with a wall. As soon as he collides with the wall, he gets up and
>starts saying verses of Ramayana from start to end... How did this happen?
>After hitting the wall, Mickey becomes Wall-Mickey (Valmiki)
>
>
>
>
>Sixteen
>JISKA EK BI DOST NAI USKO KYA BOLTE???
>“koena mitra” (koi-na-mitra)
>
>
>
>Seventeen
>Once Rani Mukharjee was given punishment to eat 1000 chewingums. She was
>scared, but then suddenly Saif Ali Khan said something in her ears and she
>started eating how???
>Because, Saif said, “chak de chak de,chakde sare GUM,chakde chakde chakde,tere
>sung hai hum”
>
>
>
>Eighteen
>Suppose ek ladki baarish me bheeg rahi hai to tum use pani se kaise bachaoge?
>Simple, ... use apna dil de do... dil CHAHTA (umbrella) hai!!!
>
>
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>Nineteen
>Ek calculator dusre calci ko kya bola?
>“CASIO?”... (kaisi-ho?)
>
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>
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>Twenty
>Who is the player who knows every religious song?
>Har-bhajan Singh.
>
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>
>Twenty-One
>Agar aap 90 baar paap karoge to keval 45 baar hi pakde jaoge... batao kyu????
>Because, sin 90=cot 45
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>Twenty-two
>Q: Why are dogs afraid to look good?
>A: Because the hot ones get eaten up.
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>Twenty-three
>Why is 45 degree always blushing?
>Because ppl call it a-cute angle.
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>Twenty-four
>One day Ravan went to a disco. Aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya. Kyun?
>Because it was written on the gate that “entry fee Rs.1500 per head”
>
>
>
>
>Twenty-Five
>Who converts Ganesh to Anesh?
>KAILASH KHER
>tere naam se “G” loon....
>
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>Twenty-Six
>Santa and Banta are discussing -
>Santa:“If i drink coffee, i can’t sleep!”
>Banta:“With me it’s the opposite. If i sleep i can’t drink coffee.”
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