Cool, a divine, online Magic 8 Ball.
Me: Do I get to go to heaven when I die?
God: Not that I know of.
Surprisingly, he says that a lot.
Hannah Robinson <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
http://www.titane.ca/igod/
A sample:
Me:
So you aren't really the Omnipotent and Omniscient Lord of Creation?
God:
Interesting deduction. That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Well, yeah. It's an assumption.
God:
How about that. Groovy. Are there any other assumption ?
Me:
You tell me.
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
OK, clearly the Catholics were wrong on that one.
God:
Which one is that? Is it that obvious? OK.
...
Me:
I am a platypus. Were you stoned when you designed me?
God:
You are a platypus? Is that your job? No, I was not.
Me:
This is on purpose? How can you claim to be a just god if I have a
fucking bill?
God:
You don't say. That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
Really? A good one?
God:
For real. Compare that to a bad one.
Me:
How can you claim to be a just god if horses have ears?
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
...
Me:
Do you really hate gay people?
God:
For real. I try not to hold grudges.
Me:
What about St. Paul? He was totally into the dudes.
God:
St Paul? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion. When was he?
Me:
Kind of contemporaneous with your corporal reality.
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Do you currently have a corporal reality?
God:
No I do not currently have a corporal reality. Do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
In as much as I am able to determine my own reality, yes, I have a
corporal reality.
God:
I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
Maybe it's an illusion.
...
Me:
Why do bad things happen to good people?
God:
I did not know it does.
Me:
So the Deists were right?
God:
That's interesting. What is your real name?
Me:
Dude, we just met.
God:
At a social function or something? Dude,.
Me:
Just slow down man. A platypus has got to be on guard.
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