I agree with you, but I kind of understand the situation. People often/sometimes come with a "take it or leave it" label. This is who I am, if you're looking for something different, look elsewhere. But at least if you do leave the relationship, whatever the nature-- friendship, romantic, colleague, etc., you can't be accused of not saying why. I guess it's better to say what's bothering you and leave than to not say what is bothering you and just leave for no apparent reason. I think it's case by case. If it's something small like you just want the person to do something for you and you don't want to ask directly for fear of being demanding or controlling that's one thing, but sometimes you don't want to hurt the person's feelings more than you already are by leaving (if it comes to that). "I don't think this is working out" is easier to take than "I can't stand the fact that you never call, we never go out, we can't make future plans because you never know your availability, and you refuse to talk on the phone because it uses up cell minutes but you don't have a landline phone, so I'm leaving." (just a hypothetical situation I thought of off the top of my head)
--- In [email protected], Gina Ellis <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > Yeah, Ellen - I've done that too, not just in "relationships" but in other circumstances with other people. I found it most annoying to crank myself up to *speak*, to do it carefully and cleanly (not empty the gunnysack), and find, whew, great relief, person responded that they heard and understood... All is well. And then after a little time I noticed that NOTHING HAD CHANGED. So you try again... Same results. > > I've concluded that, generally speaking, if you have to tell somebody something, they ain't gonna hear it. If they were able to hear and adjust, they would be *okay* to start with. Very seldom does it have any effect. > > (Still, its' better than hinting...which is just as frustrating and annoying for all concerned, but leaves you open to being accused of not being straight.) > _________________________________________________________________ > News, entertainment and everything you care about at Live.com. Get it now! > http://www.live.com/getstarted.aspx >
