Hi Romaine, I completely agree with Camelia, and would like to echo the same.
Most of us are weird in some way, so don't feel bad. Even after meeting hundreds of people from all over the world, I still have a very hard time socialising "normally". I've been this way pretty much as far as I can remember. But the diverseness (a.k.a. weirdness) of Wikimedians allowed me to simply be who I am, and be happy. I know a number of people also consider me odd, but as of lately I'm now more than ok with that. That being said, most of the time it is so easy for people to hurt others by reacting without thinking, even for the briefest of moments. And unfortunate things can happen in the best places we know. My little advise would be to let it go and move on. Don't let it get the best of you. Hopefully those who put you down, intentionally or unintentionally, will step-up to make things right someday. I've met you a number of times in various parts of the world, although briefly on all occasions (I'm bad at maintaining long conversations - a party pooper of sorts!), and I know from your words, expressions, and body language, that your are an amazing person with a very warm heart. Cheer up, and don't cling on darker thoughts. It troubles no one other than the person clinging to it. Goodnight from here. Yours truly, Rehman Abubakr (Roy)<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Rehman> OTRS agent, Admin (English Wikipedia, Commons), Contributor (Wikidata, Meta) User:Rehman<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Rehman> | Talkpage<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Rehman> | rehman.wikime...@live.com<mailto:rehman.wikime...@live.com> | UG-LK<https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia_Community_User_Group_Sri_Lanka/English> ________________________________ From: Wikimedia-l <wikimedia-l-boun...@lists.wikimedia.org> on behalf of camelia boban <camelia.bo...@gmail.com> Sent: 20 June 2019 19:57 To: Wikimedia Mailing List Subject: Re: [Wikimedia-l] Some goodbye to all One way or another, as nerds, we are all weird. I felt in love with this movement when I realized that anyone inside would not have felt a stranger. I live in Rome, where there is the habit of hugging and / or kissing each other on one cheek and another when we meet. In the Arab world I saw that the kisses they give are 3. At this point, I will think twice before doing it. In the MeeToo era we must be careful not to exaggerate, striving to understand the difference between harassment and what can sometimes be rudeness only or, in this case, sensitivity and affection expressed in another way congenital to us. Let us remember that behind what we perceive as "different" there is a human being, with his story and his desire for interment and to be part of something greater, a community. I will miss you Romaine, I will miss your tenderness and I am so sorry about how things went and how bad you are. I don't know about you wikipedians, but I feel terribly sad. And defeat, because I don't understand what's happening to us. *Camelia* Il giorno gio 20 giu 2019 alle ore 13:15 Romaine Wiki < romaine.w...@gmail.com> ha scritto: > Dear community, > > First I need to mention that the message I sent a few days ago had too > limited information regarding the context of the message. The e-mail was > written by me personally alone, written from my perspective. The email > contained an overview what has happened, written based on e-mails and > eyewitnesses. So if anyone would say it is not true, please add {{Citation > needed}} to that person's saying. > > > > > About a month ago I have decided that I will indefinitely no longer attend > any WMF funded events as result of bullying, attempts to silence me, > intimidation and treats against me. This has resulted in that I feel > extremely unsafe as the result of the behaviour of only a few individuals. > > This has lead that since the start of this occurring about 18 months ago I > have been over a dozen of times very ill, while I was in the 10 years > before only twice that ill. > > I see no indication that the issues addressed are taken seriously, so I see > no safe space for me to be present. In my childhood I was bullied for being > different, I am not interested in a second episode now. > > > > > From my parents I have learned to lend others always a helping hand where I > can. As such I was happy to be able to help the organisers of various > conferences and I always tried to make it a comfortable place for everyone. > > To my regret I have been informed that some people have indicated that I > have given them an unpleasant feeling. You must know that I never ever had > such intention (also still largely unsure what of me has given you this > emotion) and I am feeling bad that I gave you such feeling. My apologies! > > > Some people have indicated with last year's conference that they had an > impression of me while I never ever had intended as such. In the past > period I have been thinking about it what would make some people think that > I gave that impression. This includes that some people think that I was > flirting or something with other people, while I actually had no interest > in the other. > > I suspect it might have something to do that I almost never really > introduced myself as I always thought that widely diverse people in our > movement would respect me in my diversity. > > > Perhaps it is good to create some clarity. Traditionally looking, I > understand people expect me as "man" to fall on women, but I do not fall on > the women present at the conferences, as well as that I have a different > gender identification. In other words: LGBT+ Also I am autistic, having > aspergers, having sensory overloads, being claustrophobic, having a hearing > problem, avoiding touching, having an eidetic memory (photographic memory), > etc, being divergent in comparison to many others, I am feeling a bit > socially clumsy. > > The first 8 years in the wiki world I was not feeling safe to meet anyone. > In 2011 I visited the first wiki event when Wikipedia celebrated its 10th > birthday. I felt more and more safe and joined more events. You might have > seen me with my large enthusiasm as I feel by providing knowledge to the > world, we make the world a better place for anyone. Now 8 years later I am > leaving as I am not feeling safe again. > > But please, do not get me wrong. I live in a country that would probably > win the world championships in complaining. I believe everyone has the > right to complain, as that I see as part of the basic rights of freedom of > expression and thought. It matters however what happens next with > complaints. Every complaint should be judged by independent individuals, > with impartiality, without also any *appearance* of partiality, with taking > into account *all* information, with care and respect to all individuals > involved. (etc) Also anyone has the right to defend themselves against > allegations *before* conclusions are drawn and before decisions are made. > Among other things, three times a conclusion was drawn without talking with > me, with as excuse "we know how he thinks", sorry, but that is a heavy > insult to me. > > Behind the scenes I have been trying to address the issues with dialogues, > as well as various other people, who have indicated their concerns, offered > help, offered (actual) solutions, tried to intermediate, etc etc, zero > results, zero self reflection. > > There is a limit of what a human being can bear, my limit is here. > > > > In the world, people have been discriminated for their religion, political > beliefs, the colour of their skin, because of their gender, because of a > different gender identity, how they look like, ..., or just because they > are considered to be "weird" when people do not understand the other. I > would prefer that we do not copy that and instead organise a civilised > complaint handling that works independently. > > > > Many of you gave me a welcome feeling, independent from who/how I am. Thank > you! > > As I likely will not meet you again, the one thing that rests me to say is: > thank you for collaborating, talking and sharing your thoughts, I wish you > all the best! > > > Romaine > _______________________________________________ > Wikimedia-l mailing list, guidelines at: > https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Mailing_lists/Guidelines and > https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia-l > New messages to: Wikimedia-l@lists.wikimedia.org > Unsubscribe: https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/wikimedia-l, > <mailto:wikimedia-l-requ...@lists.wikimedia.org?subject=unsubscribe> _______________________________________________ Wikimedia-l mailing list, guidelines at: https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Mailing_lists/Guidelines and https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia-l New messages to: Wikimedia-l@lists.wikimedia.org Unsubscribe: https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/wikimedia-l, <mailto:wikimedia-l-requ...@lists.wikimedia.org?subject=unsubscribe> _______________________________________________ Wikimedia-l mailing list, guidelines at: https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Mailing_lists/Guidelines and https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wikimedia-l New messages to: Wikimedia-l@lists.wikimedia.org Unsubscribe: https://lists.wikimedia.org/mailman/listinfo/wikimedia-l, <mailto:wikimedia-l-requ...@lists.wikimedia.org?subject=unsubscribe>
