Wow, what a lot of typing has been taking place!
Let me state a few things:
1. Most mail readers can allow you to send all comments from a given
email address directly to the trash. I am periodically tempted to do
this with some people that irritate me habitually, but of course the
great way is easy for those who do not pick and choose.
2. I was raped, or violently sexually abused as a small child, and
then threatened with death if I told anyone. It has taken a lot of
therapy and some hard work on my own to transform this experience from
a severe limitation to just a fact of my past. I cannot really enjoy
mushrooms with out nearly choking and feeling tinges of abuse again,
but that is generally an avoidable consequence. I am probably a bit
more open to the reality of great suffering in the people around me,
and I when I am feeling anxious, I find comfort in certain things that
are pretty common in survivors, but I no longer believe I am worthless
or deserving of mistreatment, which were effects that caused me some
great trouble for a long time. The brain given a choice between
"great evil exists in the universe and one doesn't have a way to
escape it" vs. "I have deserved some great punishment and if I act
differently I will be safe" will often skip over the first truth and
fix on the false, but reassuring, latter statement. But with a
healing environment, love, and determination, recovery is fairly
straightforward.
And I would not trade places with my abuser for one minute. Violent
people, that I've seen, suffer from great blindness to others as well
as to them selves. It is a feminist axiom that the people with less
power in a given relationship are able to see more of the reality of
the relationship clearly than the people with more power. Rape is a
horrendous thing, as is the systemic devaluing of the powerless, and
the equation of might with right. If you believe the statistics, some
large chunk of people in the US at least have been sexually victimized
at one point or another. Those people are not all ruined; most of us
are productive members of society, chopping wood and carrying water.
We may have a curious aversion for or be drawn to dramatic revenge
movies, but we are well able to march on in the current moments.
3. There is absolutely no point in imaging what you would do if you
were raped or someone you love is raped. That is precisely the sort
of self-flagellation in the imaginary world that zen can free us from.
Not that I can stop you if you like such a use of your time, but the
salvific attitude is a pragmatic one.
As far as a "Buddha harming others", I think the correct perspective
is that we harm each other all the time. We cannot live without
ingesting other living objects. There is no special fully enlightened
Buddha chopped out from life and separate from our humanity. Many
people harm others believing that it is some how good; many people
start out with some idea of the good and then are so attached to that
good that when the action goes bad, they do not regroup and find a
different way. Many people have brains so twisted that they cannot
see clearly enough to be held accountable. If we encounter someone
trying to harm those around us, we will act, but indulging in some
idle speculation about what a perfect being would do is just
speculation.
If you must cling to some idea of buddhahood, I recommend Joko Beck's
picture of the hapless person on the hang-glider in a giant hurricane;
only able to enjoy or fight the ride. The outcome is certain. Live
each moment. There is no safety, and no end to the struggle, except
for the end of us. Ah well!
--Chris
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