The discussion is interesting but academic an hypothetical. Success and failure or for that matter possibility and impossibility varies from person to person and situation to situation. I am afraid this is a non conclusive debate and we can carry on talking our points till the cows come home. Blindness can be a defining factor if we allow it to be so. If we are willing to compensate with factors like extra effort, good communications,positive attitude, sense humour, tact, personal charm, patience, love and capacity to contribute and share then blindness need not be a factor. All this is a matter of personal perceptions and perspective.
-----Original Message----- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Nikita Vaid Sent: 02 July 2014 15:37 To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners I completely agree with Preetiji and amar. Dear Ishita, a lot of perception of others towards us is based on the perception that we carry about ourselves. I ask a question to all, what is the guarantee that a marriage between physically abled individuals do not fail or there are no compromises? Similarly there are no divorces of blind couple? Marriage is a little about luck also I feel. Ofcourse our Indian mentality is not too open to readily except the fact that a blind person can get a abled bodied life person and that too with out any terms and conditions. But its we youngsters only who have to change our own outlook and then outlook of others. Ishita believe me when I was a college going girl, I also had the same inhibitions as you have but with time and situation I had to become strong and then things sloly started falling in place. With regards to your point of touching some bodies clothes in office? I thing there is a misunderstanding some where, I had just given an example of how in some cases, where ever it is possible especially in the same gender you can ask the person to describe the color or design of the dres. And it is not always necessary to touch and see also. Are all the interactions in the work place only between boss and subordinate?? Or related to false praising for promotion only? Don't people have friends or peers in office?. Even sighted persons will not often go and complement a Chairmen of the company if he is wearing a good shirt. Its all about the rapport one builts with each others in the work place. Where is the link of promotion with the point of complementing others on their dress or some thing. You would only complement some one if you have some kind of comfort level with them right? My dear please try to come out of your negative shell and look at the world beyond with some openness. Trust me marriage it self is not a very big deal or a rocket science for which one a very dignified and a respected person is compelled to use the example of a begger. Thanks and warm Regards, Nikita V. Raut, Senior Manager [HR] Baroda Corporate Center, Bank of Baroda, C- 26, G - block, Bandra Kurla Complex, Bandra [E], Mumbai- 400051. deskphone: +91-22-66985557. -----Original Message----- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Asudani, Rajesh Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 2:47 PM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners If you are blind or not, should not matter at all!! Madam there is a gulf of difference between what is and what ought to be... And why not? I am blind. It should matter for my spouse.... very much..... -----Original Message----- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Preeti Monga Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 2:37 PM To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled.' Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners Dear Ishita, Why so pessimistic my dear? I am not trying to motivate you or anyone else. I am just stating facts. First of all where did you get the idea that anyone should marry us blind women for charity purpose! Not at all! But I am not blaming you for thinking like that. These are normal thoughts we Indians are conditioned to believe. You may not want to marry a person without hands or legs, that is perfectly up to you. It is OK if you feel like that. The point we are trying to make here is, that it need not be blindness that determines the criterion for marriage, it is the person in totality that matters. Your skills, personality, talents, values and what you have to offer by way of warmth, love, commitment and friendship that should matter. If you are blind or not, should not matter at all. Now, I have no sight at all, and I know that no one wants to marry blind women, not even blind men prefer to marry us! But, having said that, I wish to tell you that there are some very wonderful marriages that have happened for blind women with sighted non disabled men. And when you look at these cases, it is very encouraging and motivating. Maybe, if more of us share our positive experiences, young intelligent women like you may look at this subject differently. Let us together discover what we need to do to become desirable and sought after life partners for good men, sighted or not. Where do you live? Can you come on the 3rd August for the Fusion meet? If so, do make it,. If not anything else, we will have an opportunity to meet and get to know each other. You come across to be a wonderful young woman, and I am sure you have countless excellent hidden talents and attributes that are not visible to you. Let us together learn to discover ourselves; thereafter develop our hidden potentials and give away much more of ourselves to this beautiful world. We can continue to grow in every way; and carve out a great life for us! Warmly Preeti Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting - Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -----Original Message----- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of ishita kapoor Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 2:10 PM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners I have found the argument of bhavani sir more realistic. Preety madam, if your aim is just to motivate us then your points are valid. I have 40 percent vision. And if I lose it no sighted person will even think to marry me even in dream unless he has social or economical problems. In that case a guy will marry me if he won't get proper match rather any girl in able bodied world, Or if I can offer him lots of money if he is poor Or I have nice job and he has no earning capacity. Otherwise no sighted person will marry me just for the sake of charity. And I don't have any bitter feeling for this belief. Because everyone has right to choose a life partner who is equal in all aspects I can't marry with the guy who doesn't have both arms and both legs. The same way I shouldn't expect such charity from any able bodied man. And yes I won't get promotion if I ask my boss to touch his clothes by saying: sir log kafi tariff kar rahe hai chalo mai bhi chhoo ke dekhu to tariff kar saku. I don't have much experience but still I would like to advice all youngsters that please don't do this. Don't ask anyone that: sir ya madam mai apke kapde dekhna chahta hun ya chahti hun. On 7/2/14, Preeti Monga <preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in> wrote: > You are very right! > Preeti > > Preeti Monga > Director > > > > Mobile: +91 9871701646 > Landline: 011 22781446 > E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in > Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org > Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training > -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting - Corporate > ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying > workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and > Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. > > We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete > customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. > > > > -----Original Message----- > From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf > Of Zoher Kheriwala > Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 11:44 AM > To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning > the disabled. > Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are > normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners > > In the world we cannot expect every sighted person to get married to a > blind person, even we cannot expect every blind person to get married > to a blind person. Some of us might have rejected the proposal of > sighted person not because of he or she is sighted but many reasons > other vice. Or if we are rejected by sighted person, it might not be > related to our blindness. > Let me have the courage to make the statement, Many of we blind people > have the habit to relate our rejection (not only in marriages but also > in jobs and other sectors) to our blindness, but I am sure that if we > are appealing to the required party then our blindness should not be > of great concern. Yes having some doubt about our work efficiency is > quite natural in the case of sighted partner, this may not be the case > if we are engaged with blind partner. This is the time when we have to > show our ability (not only through talking but also through working). > Marrying to a sighted person or vice versa cannot guaranty of > successful married life. It has very little to do with our blindness. > I have married to a blind girl, We have not accepted each other > because we are blind, blindness is just is a coincidence. Let me put > in other words, My life partner happends to be a person with > blindness. > When we are in a hunt of life partner, we cannot over estimate the > ability of sighted person and we should not under estimate the ability > of blind partner. > > > On 7/2/14, Shadab Husain <shadab...@gmail.com> wrote: >> Hey Bhawani bhai, nice quotes! The key point is that there has to be some >> "self-interest" for both the parties otherwise the friendship will end. A >> person with financial poverty and emotional richness can provide >> emotional >> support to the emotionally poor but financially rich one and thus can be >> equal in status. Can we apply it on a blind marrying a sighted? Disagree >> with it, but I won't - especially after seeing so many examples on Access >> India. >> >> -----Original Message----- >> From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On > Behalf >> Of bhawani shankar verma >> Sent: 02 July 2014 07:13 >> To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issuesconcerning >> the disabled. >> Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are >> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners >> >> "Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. >> Such >> friendships will never give you any happiness." >> - Chanakya >> >> "There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no >> friendship >> without self-interests. This is a bitter truth." >> - Chanakya >> >> both quotations should also be applied regarding partnership. marriage is > a >> social partnership between to parties where they have joined each other >> to >> satisfy their physical and emotional desires. >> >> ----- Original Message ----- >> From: "aditi shah" <shahaditi1...@gmail.com> >> To: "accessindia" <accessindia@accessindia.org.in> >> Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2014 6:24 PM >> Subject: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are >> normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners >> >> >>> Hi there everyone, >>> Have been reading this discussion since a few days, so felt like >>> expressing my views as well. >>> >>> We are all humans blind or not, and we have our own set of skills. >>> There might be areas we are extremely good at or there might be areas >>> we cannot do much, in case of us blind it may be because of our >>> disability whereas incase of sighted it might be due to other reasons. >>> According to me, a happy married life demands a set of some basic >>> skills, like understanding, cooking, up bringing of kids, earning, >>> socializing, etc. >>> Again, these basic requirements differ depending on what kind of a >>> lifestyle one has. >>> So, in my view, it does not really matter whether we are marrying a >>> sighted or a blind, what matters is whether our's and our partner's >>> skills can meet those basic requirements or not. >>> Considering this, I disagree from the belief that if a blind has to >>> marry a sighted, he has to make compromises like marrying someone >>> economically or intellectually weaker than us. >>> If a blind who is earning well or is from a well-to-do family or may >>> be is extremely qualified marries a sighted from a weaker economic >>> background or qualification, it is not a compromise as far as both >>> partners together possess the required skills. >>> Even if a blind is marrying a blind, and both of them can manage to do >>> the required things, may be in ways different than the normal world, >>> they can indeed have a successful married life. >>> >>> So, it is not about being blind or sighted, it is always about finding >>> that someone such that with understanding, you can both match up for >>> each other's shortcomings. >>> Life partners are like two pieces of a puzzle, one has to find the >>> other half that fits perfectly, lest we got to spend our entire life >>> filling the gaps. >>> >>> Regards, >>> aditi >>> >>> >>> >>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing >>> accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on: >>> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_acc >>> essindia.org.in >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>> please visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org >>> .in >>> >>> >>> Disclaimer: >>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking >>> of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its >>> veracity; >>> >>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>> mails sent through this mailing list.. >> >> >> >> >> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility >> of >> mobile phones / Tabs on: >> > http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessin d >> ia.org.in >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please >> visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> >> Disclaimer: >> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >> the >> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >> >> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >> mails >> sent through this mailing list.. >> >> >> >> >> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility >> of >> mobile phones / Tabs on: >> > http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessin d > ia.org.in >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, > please >> visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> >> Disclaimer: >> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of > the >> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >> >> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >> mails >> sent through this mailing list.. >> > > > -- > together we can and we will make the differnce > Zoher > > > > Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of > mobile phones / Tabs on: > http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessin d > ia.org.in > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, > please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Disclaimer: > 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of > the > person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; > > 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails > sent through this mailing list.. > > > > > Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of > mobile phones / Tabs on: > http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessin dia.org.in > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Disclaimer: > 1. 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