Your case may be exceptional, please don't compare whole society through
your view point. Indian society is not ready to accept visually
challenged people at least for next 50 or 70 years. For example, long
time back when I worked as a web programmer in a company at Eranakulam
district at Kerala state, I accidentally heard a conversation between my
colleagues about blind society. On that day, i understood how does the
sighted people putting distance to visually challenged community.
Throughout my life, I found women are more aggressive than men in such
matters.
In Kerala, more blind men are married to blind women. Some blind men are
married to sighted women. However, most often blind women marry only
blind men. It is very unusual for a blind woman to marry a sighted man.
This is due to the privileged position enjoyed by male members in
families and society. The prevalence of the practice of dowry is also
attributable to it. At present, unless blind men marry blind women, the
latter have almost no chance of a wedlock.
Almost everywhere in the world; people with any kind of disability are
looked down upon as second class citizens. They are less privileged.
Social barriers are much more responsible for the backward nature in the
life of people with visual disabilities. Many sighted people in
regressive societies feel that blind people are abnormal. This is a
serious misconception that hamper the progress of visually challenged
society in several ways in India including marriage life.
Do you know, in indian society, what visually impaired people cannot do
gets more attention than what they can do. Such an attitude on the part
of society deprives blind people of their basic human rights. Their lot
is cast in a world of darkness. They drag out their sterile existence in
silent agony.
I am blind too! Yes it does matter to my spouse... he takes great care
to keep things where they belong, he takes care not to leave me alone
on the street
and I in return make sure he eats his fruits everyday!
So where is the problem?
Preeti
Preeti Monga
Director
Mobile: +91 9871701646
Landline: 011 22781446
E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in
Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org
Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training
–Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting –
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demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive
Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining..
We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete
customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along.
-----Original Message-----
From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On
Behalf Of Asudani, Rajesh
Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 2:47 PM
To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues
concerning the disabled.
Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
If you are blind or not, should not matter at all!!
Madam
there is a gulf of difference between what is and what ought to be...
And why not?
I am blind.
It should matter for my spouse....
very much.....
-----Original Message-----
From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On
Behalf Of Preeti Monga
Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 2:37 PM
To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues
concerning the disabled.'
Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
Dear Ishita,
Why so pessimistic my dear? I am not trying to motivate you or anyone
else. I am just stating facts. First of all where did you get the idea
that anyone should marry us blind women for charity purpose! Not at
all! But I am not blaming you for thinking like that. These are normal
thoughts we Indians are conditioned to believe. You may not want to
marry a person without hands or legs, that is perfectly up to you. It is
OK if you feel like that. The point we are trying to make here is, that
it need not be blindness that determines the criterion for marriage, it
is the person in totality that matters. Your skills, personality,
talents, values and what you have to offer by way of warmth, love,
commitment and friendship that should matter. If you are blind or not,
should not matter at all. Now, I have no sight at all, and I know that
no one wants to marry blind women, not even blind men prefer to marry
us! But, having said that, I wish to tell you that there are some very
wonderful marriages that have happened for blind women with sighted non
disabled men. And when you look at these cases, it is very encouraging
and motivating. Maybe, if more of us share our positive experiences,
young intelligent women like you may look at this subject differently.
Let us together discover what we need to do to become desirable and
sought after life partners for good men, sighted or not. Where do you
live? Can you come on the 3rd August for the Fusion meet? If so, do make
it,. If not anything else, we will have an opportunity to meet and get
to know each other. You come across to be a wonderful young woman, and I
am sure you have countless excellent hidden talents and attributes that
are not visible to you. Let us together learn to discover ourselves;
thereafter develop our hidden potentials and give away much more of
ourselves to this beautiful world. We can continue to grow in every way;
and carve out a great life for us!
Warmly
Preeti
Preeti Monga
Director
Mobile: +91 9871701646
Landline: 011 22781446
E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in
Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org
Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training
–Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting –
Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including
demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive
Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining..
We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete
customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along.
-----Original Message-----
From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On
Behalf Of ishita kapoor
Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 2:10 PM
To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues
concerning the disabled.
Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
I have found the argument of bhavani sir more realistic.
Preety madam, if your aim is just to motivate us then your points are valid.
I have 40 percent vision.
And if I lose it no sighted person will even think to marry me even in
dream unless he has social or economical problems.
In that case a guy will marry me if he won’t get proper match rather
any girl in able bodied world,
Or if I can offer him lots of money if he is poor
Or I have nice job and he has no earning capacity.
Otherwise no sighted person will marry me just for the sake of charity.
And I don’t have any bitter feeling for this belief.
Because everyone has right to choose a life partner who is equal in all
aspects
I can’t marry with the guy who doesn’t have both arms and both legs.
The same way I shouldn’t expect such charity from any able bodied man.
And yes I won’t get promotion if I ask my boss to touch his clothes by
saying: sir log kafi tariff kar rahe hai chalo mai bhi chhoo ke dekhu
to tariff kar saku.
I don’t have much experience but still I would like to advice all
youngsters that please don’t do this.
Don’t ask anyone that: sir ya madam mai apke kapde dekhna chahta hun
ya chahti hun.
On 7/2/14, Preeti Monga <preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in> wrote:
You are very right!
Preeti
Preeti Monga
Director
Mobile: +91 9871701646
Landline: 011 22781446
E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in
Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org
Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training
–Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting – Corporate
; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying
workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and
Marketing Data Mining / Refining..
We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete
customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along.
-----Original Message-----
From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf
Of Zoher Kheriwala
Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2014 11:44 AM
To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning
the disabled.
Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
In the world we cannot expect every sighted person to get married to a
blind person, even we cannot expect every blind person to get married
to a blind person. Some of us might have rejected the proposal of
sighted person not because of he or she is sighted but many reasons
other vice. Or if we are rejected by sighted person, it might not be
related to our blindness.
Let me have the courage to make the statement, Many of we blind people
have the habit to relate our rejection (not only in marriages but also
in jobs and other sectors) to our blindness, but I am sure that if we
are appealing to the required party then our blindness should not be
of great concern. Yes having some doubt about our work efficiency is
quite natural in the case of sighted partner, this may not be the case
if we are engaged with blind partner. This is the time when we have to
show our ability (not only through talking but also through working).
Marrying to a sighted person or vice versa cannot guaranty of
successful married life. It has very little to do with our blindness.
I have married to a blind girl, We have not accepted each other
because we are blind, blindness is just is a coincidence. Let me put
in other words, My life partner happends to be a person with
blindness.
When we are in a hunt of life partner, we cannot over estimate the
ability of sighted person and we should not under estimate the ability
of blind partner.
On 7/2/14, Shadab Husain <shadab...@gmail.com> wrote:
Hey Bhawani bhai, nice quotes! The key point is that there has to be some
"self-interest" for both the parties otherwise the friendship will end. A
person with financial poverty and emotional richness can provide
emotional
support to the emotionally poor but financially rich one and thus can be
equal in status. Can we apply it on a blind marrying a sighted? Disagree
with it, but I won't - especially after seeing so many examples on Access
India.
-----Original Message-----
From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On
Behalf
Of bhawani shankar verma
Sent: 02 July 2014 07:13
To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issuesconcerning
the disabled.
Subject: Re: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
"Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status.
Such
friendships will never give you any happiness."
- Chanakya
"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no
friendship
without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
- Chanakya
both quotations should also be applied regarding partnership. marriage is
a
social partnership between to parties where they have joined each other
to
satisfy their physical and emotional desires.
----- Original Message -----
From: "aditi shah" <shahaditi1...@gmail.com>
To: "accessindia" <accessindia@accessindia.org.in>
Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2014 6:24 PM
Subject: [AI] . Re: my quriyocity are
normelpeopleintrestedinmarryingblindpartners
Hi there everyone,
Have been reading this discussion since a few days, so felt like
expressing my views as well.
We are all humans blind or not, and we have our own set of skills.
There might be areas we are extremely good at or there might be areas
we cannot do much, in case of us blind it may be because of our
disability whereas incase of sighted it might be due to other reasons.
According to me, a happy married life demands a set of some basic
skills, like understanding, cooking, up bringing of kids, earning,
socializing, etc.
Again, these basic requirements differ depending on what kind of a
lifestyle one has.
So, in my view, it does not really matter whether we are marrying a
sighted or a blind, what matters is whether our's and our partner's
skills can meet those basic requirements or not.
Considering this, I disagree from the belief that if a blind has to
marry a sighted, he has to make compromises like marrying someone
economically or intellectually weaker than us.
If a blind who is earning well or is from a well-to-do family or may
be is extremely qualified marries a sighted from a weaker economic
background or qualification, it is not a compromise as far as both
partners together possess the required skills.
Even if a blind is marrying a blind, and both of them can manage to do
the required things, may be in ways different than the normal world,
they can indeed have a successful married life.
So, it is not about being blind or sighted, it is always about finding
that someone such that with understanding, you can both match up for
each other's shortcomings.
Life partners are like two pieces of a puzzle, one has to find the
other half that fits perfectly, lest we got to spend our entire life
filling the gaps.
Regards,
aditi
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--
together we can and we will make the differnce
Zoher
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