Sorry for the error. On 5/20/15, Lissy Verghese <lvmalayatt...@gmail.com> wrote: > Thhe question is not directed at world's willingness to accept > disability. It is the act of imposing one's decisions on an unborn > child. In a conventional setup, we know that disability is not the > fault of either the child or the parent. But, what if parents force > their children to be disabled? > Thank you! > Lissy Verghese > > On 5/20/15, Zoher <zos...@gmail.com> wrote: >> Hi Friends, >> >> AS many of us are not favor of programmed disabled babies, Here 1 >> question >> comes to my mind, & this topic has discussed and debated on this list. >> >> >> >> If we cannot accept predecided disabled child then how can we expect the >> non >> disabled peoples to accept disabled life partners, when they have an >> ample >> choice of non disabled partners. >> >> It does not mean that I subscribe the view of programmed disabled baby >> but >> looking the issue with a different angle. >> >> ----- Original Message ----- >> From: <r.radh...@gmail.com> >> To: "AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues >> concerningthe disabled." <accessindia@accessindia.org.in> >> Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2015 12:39 AM >> Subject: Re: [AI] 'How would we feel if blind women claimed the right to >> ablind baby?' >> >> >>> Thank u >>> >>> Sent from my iPhone >>> >>>> On 19 மே, 2015, at 11:03 PM, avinash shahi <shahi88avin...@gmail.com> >>>> wrote: >>>> >>>> Radha,I've googled your queries and pasting below an article based on >>>> questions and answers on the issue. >>>> http://www.sexualityanddisability.org/reproduction/adopting-a-child.aspx >>>> 'The law speaks about the "welfare of the child" and the >>>> interpretation by the administrators is that the welfare of the child >>>> would not be served if there is a disabled person adopting...I know at >>>> least two recent cases where one of the disabled parents is visually >>>> challenged. They were first discouraged by adoption agencies and then >>>> when force and influence was used, relented.' >>>> >>>> Kanchan Pamnani, Visually Impaired Lawyer and Solicitor, Mumbai >>>> >>>> Question1 Can any woman adopt a child in India? Will my age (I am 41) >>>> or disability be considered negative factors? >>>> >>>> According to the law External Website that opens in a new window, >>>> prospective adoptive parents who have a composite age (your age and >>>> your spouse's age added together) of 90 years or less can adopt >>>> infants or young children. A single parent who is not older than 45 >>>> years is also eligible to adopt infants or young children. In case of >>>> older and special needs children, the upper age limit can be relaxed >>>> based on the merits of the case. In any case, you need to be an adult, >>>> and the age difference between you and your child has to be atleast >>>> twenty one years. >>>> >>>> If your concerns aren't about the law, then there is no 'ideal' age to >>>> become a mother. Maybe in your community it is more common to see >>>> someone with their first baby in their late twenties, and with a >>>> complete family by their mid-thirties. However, it doesn't mean >>>> anything that differs from this norm is incorrect. In fact, the norms >>>> around marriage and children are themselves changing a lot, and what >>>> held true five, ten or fifteen years ago is often no longer the case. >>>> Women are getting married when they think it's the right age, and >>>> having kids only when they are ready - whether it is giving birth to >>>> them or adopting them. >>>> >>>> Similarly, while there is no legal barrier preventing someone with a >>>> disability from adopting, you may still face stigma. Adoption agencies >>>> may try to give you a negative mark stating you won't be able to look >>>> after the child and his or her welfare, but don't get daunted by this. >>>> A disabled woman who is a biological mother takes care of her child, >>>> doesn't she? Some may argue that since you are disabled and need >>>> assistance yourself, how will you raise a baby? Again, nondisabled >>>> mothers often hire help to assist them in looking after their >>>> children. >>>> >>>> Given your disability - and your partner's, if he or she is also >>>> disabled - people may also make cruel remarks about how you are >>>> ruining the child's life by adding unwanted 'burdens' and >>>> 'responsibilities' to his or her life. This is not true! Every mother >>>> is different External Website that opens in a new window in ways that >>>> impact upon a child - some are intelligent, some are argumentative, >>>> some are working professionals with little free time, and others like >>>> you, may be impaired. You may not have the unconditional support of >>>> family, friends and the larger community in the same way that other >>>> couples do. >>>> >>>> Single women, lesbian women, and other women who are seen as not >>>> conforming to the societal ideal of womanhood - including working >>>> women - face similar issues. Even when there is an outward show of >>>> support, the decision is often questioned. 'Do you really think you >>>> can handle this?' 'Are you being fair to the child you will adopt?' >>>> 'What will people think if an unmarried woman has a child?' Society >>>> often frowns upon single women who choose to bring up children, under >>>> the mistaken belief that without a man and a woman, the family unit >>>> cannot be complete. In reality, there are many different types of >>>> families - joint families, single parents, gay parents - and the >>>> happiness of a child does not depend on the family structure alone. >>>> >>>> By choosing to adopt a child, you are giving him or her a loving and >>>> caring mother and family - you as a mother are more than your >>>> impairment, and no one should make you feel otherwise. Many women with >>>> disabilities have successfully adopted and raised children, and so can >>>> you. >>>> >>>> Question2 My disability is genetic. Should I adopt a baby to avoid >>>> giving birth to a disabled child? >>>> >>>> You can adopt a non-disabled child if you want to, but here's a few >>>> things to consider. Even if you have a genetic disability, it is not >>>> necessary that your impairment will be passed on External Website that >>>> opens in a new window to your baby. Genetic disabilities do skip >>>> generations. For example, if you and your husband are visually >>>> impaired, your children may still be sighted. It's a popular myth that >>>> 'disability breeds disability', but that's often not the case. >>>> >>>> Also consider that your adopted child may have her own set of genetic >>>> issues, which may or may not manifest in her lifetime. Or your adopted >>>> child may acquire an impairment later on in life. So if you want to >>>> adopt to ensure you will have a non-disabled child, there is no >>>> guarantee of that. And remember, you have lived your life up to this >>>> point with an impairment - who or what's to say that your child won't >>>> manage fine too? >>>> (Source: 'Eugenics' on Wikipedia External Website that opens in a new >>>> window) >>>> >>>> Question3 Can I adopt a child with a disability? If yes, then what >>>> should I think about before taking the decision? >>>> >>>> Here's a few things to consider when adopting a disabled child. There >>>> are varied impairments External Website that opens in a new window and >>>> each has its own challenges. So it is important to think carefully >>>> about the type of child you can best parent, and to be honest with >>>> yourself in making this decision. For example, you may be comfortable >>>> with a physically impaired child, but be unsure about adopting a child >>>> with a mental disability. If you are considering adopting a child who >>>> will have special needs, it is vital to get as much information on the >>>> nature and limitations of the impairment. Spending time with parents >>>> who have children with similar impairments can immensely help. Try to >>>> realistically assess what you can handle - emotionally, physically, >>>> financially and in every other way. >>>> >>>> If you are considering adopting a disabled child, please don't do so >>>> out of charity or pity - a child with an impairment is equally capable >>>> of navigating life and adding joy to your life as any other child, >>>> given a loving and supportive environment. >>>> >>>> And got to know few tips,One of the member here Ka >>>>> On 5/19/15, Radha <r.radh...@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>> Avinash byeia, >>>>> or anyone else, can please shed information on, if a blind married >>>>> couple/ single can adopt a disable child from NGO/ state owned >>>>> organisation? Do we have such privilege? I'm unaware of the real >>>>> fact/ law pertaining to it. When I aspire to adopt a child when I >>>>> was without disability, I was denied on the grounds that I was at my >>>>> early 20's( exactly my age was 21 during ) and single. >>>>> It may sound silly for asking such question, but I feel that it is >>>>> the right platform to go with.... >>>>> 1. Can a single disable woman can adopt any disable child? >>>>> 2. Can a married blind(total) couple can adopt any child with or >>>>> without disability? >>>>> In both cases, adoption should be made from any orphanage and not from >>>>> blood or any other relatives' kid. >>>>> >>>>> One more thing, if abled peers think that it is tough to take care of >>>>> a child, there are many old age houses too, Can we adopt any? >>>>> >>>>> Do we have supporting law for us? >>>>> >>>>> In either cases, it should not be like receiving benefit from them. I >>>>> meant to say, we should not be pointed that we adopt them for >>>>> receiving benefit from their side at any stage. >>>>> " you adopt me, since you want your daily chores to be fulfilled >>>>> with my help" >>>>> >>>>> aforesaid, line will be applicable for any relationship when we have >>>>> our love for them and in return, hear these words... >>>>> Many are blessed with understanding / mutual love and cared >>>>> relationship .... we really urge for it. >>>>> Please enlighten with prevailing law that would support our desire >>>>> to >>>>> adopt . >>>>> >>>>>> On 5/19/15, avinash shahi <shahi88avin...@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>> Though very few members have so far aired their views I could infer >>>>>> those who are not blind by birth have very different standpoints from >>>>>> those who are blind by birth on the issue. Experiential and >>>>>> circumstantial accounts are more powerful than anything else. What I >>>>>> think of the article is that these lesbians didn't adopd an already >>>>>> born deaf child/children but they managed to get through surrogacy. >>>>>> that decision to impose one's own decision on unborn child is >>>>>> debatable and problematic. Author further rightly goes on to discuss >>>>>> the value of free-will choice which we all yearn for. >>>>>> >>>>>> Further this article stimulated me to think about those who are >>>>>> blind, >>>>>> abandoned just their post-birth and languishing in uncaring >>>>>> institutions. There must be thousands of abandoned blind children >>>>>> craving for love and care in state-owned or NGO-runned shelter >>>>>> hhomes. >>>>>> Ideally, privileged and settled blind people should give a thought of >>>>>> adopting those who have no one to fall upon. But these days very few >>>>>> people carry such jestures. Perhaps they are so pained and troubled >>>>>> by >>>>>> their disability that such thought doesn't germinate in their minds. >>>>>> Hopefully, with growing prosperity and increased social standing, >>>>>> some >>>>>> of us will adopt abandoned disabled kids and raise them with the best >>>>>> resources we will have. >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>> On 5/18/15, avinash shahi <shahi88avin...@gmail.com> wrote: >>>>>>> In the long argument over designer babies, did anyone imagine that >>>>>>> parents might prefer a designer disability? While we were all >>>>>>> worrying >>>>>>> about the bionic offspring of the super-rich, two deaf lesbians in >>>>>>> America were going round sperm banks, trying to make a deaf baby. >>>>>>> http://www.theguardian.com/world/2002/apr/09/gender.uk1 >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> It sounds like the start of a bad joke, except that they have now >>>>>>> managed it twice, thanks to a friend with five generations of >>>>>>> deafness >>>>>>> in his family. They claim that they are especially well equipped to >>>>>>> look after a deaf child, which I am sure is true, and had they >>>>>>> adopted >>>>>>> one such child, or 20, we would all be praising their goodness. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> The difference, of course, is that no child should be forced inside >>>>>>> its parents' psychosis - whether they be from a hardline religious >>>>>>> sect or Deaf Lesbians. The truth is that all of us have to contend >>>>>>> with our parents, for good or ill, but at least we can't be >>>>>>> committed >>>>>>> at birth to spending the rest of our lives as circus performers or >>>>>>> bank clerks, or missionaries. We have free will, and the great thing >>>>>>> about growing up is personal choice. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> What choice is there if your parents have already decided that you >>>>>>> are >>>>>>> going to be deaf, and that deafness will be your defining identity, >>>>>>> just as it has been theirs? This is not the beauty of compatibility, >>>>>>> it is genetic imperialism. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Deaf people, they say, have heightened senses, and a relationship to >>>>>>> the world not shared by the hearing population. Fine, I have no >>>>>>> trouble with that. But identity is going to be a big issue for the >>>>>>> kids of the Deaf Lesbians, because both women belong to a radical >>>>>>> group that defines deafness like blackness - not as a disability but >>>>>>> as cultural difference. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> My closest friend is black. She married a white man and their eldest >>>>>>> child looks like an English rose - pale skin, blond hair, blue eyes. >>>>>>> Nature does this kind of thing, and it is a celebration of >>>>>>> difference >>>>>>> and sameness all mixed up together. Nobody knows what kind of baby >>>>>>> any >>>>>>> two people will produce - and surely this is a blessing, not a bore? >>>>>>> Must we control everything? If the answer is yes, we are paranoid. >>>>>>> If >>>>>>> either of the Deaf Lesbians in the US had been in a relationship >>>>>>> with >>>>>>> a man, deaf or hearing, and if they had decided to have a baby, >>>>>>> there >>>>>>> is absolutely no certainty that the baby would have been deaf. You >>>>>>> take a chance with love; you take a chance with nature, but it is >>>>>>> those chances and the unexpected possibilities they bring, that give >>>>>>> life its beauty. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> I am always on the side of risk, and always suspicious of control. >>>>>>> The >>>>>>> more controls we have, the less free we become. Parents usually try >>>>>>> to >>>>>>> control their children, and later their children hate them for it, >>>>>>> while busily repeating the damage themselves. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> How would either of the lesbians have felt if their own parents had >>>>>>> said that heterosexuality was such a beautiful thing that they had >>>>>>> to >>>>>>> screen out any potential gay gene in their children, just to make >>>>>>> sure >>>>>>> they had a good life? >>>>>>> >>>>>>> How would any of us feel if the women had both been blind and >>>>>>> claimed >>>>>>> the right to a blind baby? Even if we transform the language of >>>>>>> disability into a dialectic of alternative functioning, should the >>>>>>> medical system support parents who want their child to suffer a >>>>>>> serious handicap? >>>>>>> >>>>>>> We can make our world as friendly as possible for people with >>>>>>> different physical capacities, but we cannot change the simple fact >>>>>>> that it is better to have five senses than four, however enhanced >>>>>>> the >>>>>>> loss of one allows the others to be. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> I believe that hearing, like sight, is a blessing, and if we are >>>>>>> prepared to use technology to breed children we have deliberately >>>>>>> disabled, it is not only the language of disability that will have >>>>>>> to >>>>>>> be radically reworked, but our entire moral perspective. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> What this case suggests is that we can do what we like to our >>>>>>> children, even if the consequences of our actions are irreversible. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> As lesbians, the two women should know something about choice and >>>>>>> personal freedom. They both practise as mental health specialists, >>>>>>> so >>>>>>> I hope they have a colleague who will be able to talk it through >>>>>>> with >>>>>>> two kids who turn up in 20 years, explaining that their mothers >>>>>>> decided that they had to be deaf. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> -- >>>>>>> Avinash Shahi >>>>>>> Doctoral student at Centre for Law and Governance JNU >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> -- >>>>>> Avinash Shahi >>>>>> Doctoral student at Centre for Law and Governance JNU >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing >>>>>> accessibility >>>>>> of >>>>>> mobile phones / Tabs on: >>>>>> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> Search for old postings at: >>>>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>>>>> >>>>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>>>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>>>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>>>> >>>>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>>>> please >>>>>> visit the list home page at >>>>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> Disclaimer: >>>>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking >>>>>> of >>>>>> the >>>>>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its >>>>>> veracity; >>>>>> >>>>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>>>>> mails >>>>>> sent through this mailing list.. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> -- >>>>> Cheers, >>>>> Radha >>>>> "Everything you want in your life is waiting for you an inch outside >>>>> your comfort zone, and an inch inside your effort." >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing >>>>> accessibility >>>>> of >>>>> mobile phones / Tabs on: >>>>> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Search for old postings at: >>>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>>>> >>>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>>> >>>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>>> please >>>>> visit the list home page at >>>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Disclaimer: >>>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking >>>>> of >>>>> >>>>> the >>>>> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its >>>>> veracity; >>>>> >>>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>>>> mails >>>>> sent through this mailing list.. >>>> >>>> >>>> -- >>>> Avinash Shahi >>>> Doctoral student at Centre for Law and Governance JNU >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility >>>> of mobile phones / Tabs on: >>>> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>> >>>> >>>> Search for old postings at: >>>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>>> >>>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>>> >>>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>>> please visit the list home page at >>>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>>> >>>> >>>> Disclaimer: >>>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking >>>> of >>>> the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its >>>> veracity; >>>> >>>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>>> mails sent through this mailing list.. >>> >>> >>> >>> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility >>> of >>> >>> mobile phones / Tabs on: >>> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>> please visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >>> Disclaimer: >>> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >>> the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its >>> veracity; >>> >>> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >>> mails >>> >>> sent through this mailing list.. >>> >> >> >> >> >> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility >> of >> mobile phones / Tabs on: >> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please >> visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> >> Disclaimer: >> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >> the >> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >> >> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >> mails >> sent through this mailing list.. >> >
Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on: http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
