I kind of like revision 1... but I suppose the other one would result in a slightly nicer response from the customer.
On Thu, Sep 3, 2015 at 6:04 PM, That One Guy /sarcasm < [email protected]> wrote: > not yet, or that would be listed, I didnt put any public dns server in > because if there is ever an issue there is nothing we can do. I threw that > in also to push the customer into contacting the correct support provider > for their device, DNS server doesnt sound like something we would have > control over so theyre more likely to no have a followup call to us for > some other part of this configuration. > > My personal response to a customer would be "meow. Sorry, dick. you dont > pay use very much money to deal with your toys. You meow buy these things, > not knowing how they work or what they actually do. You need to either pay > us to come do this for you or shut your fucking mouth. We are not your > personal 30 second IT response team. I would have no problem helping you > with this simple shit, but you see there are two problems. The first being > that the next time you call in you probably wont talk to me, you will talk > to some dolt who doesnt know the difference between their ass and a hole in > the ground. You are probably more tech savvy than the asshole who answers > the phone. meow. And second, when you have some other stupid problem, and > our douchenozzles on the phone decide the problem is your router, even > though your radio is literally on fire, and send you a replacement router, > nobody will read the customer notes to reconfigure your simple port > forward. Have a meow nice day " > > That was revision 1 > > On Thu, Sep 3, 2015 at 5:53 PM, Ken Hohhof <[email protected]> wrote: > >> Seems OK. >> >> The part about DNS servers confused me. You don’t have your own DNS >> servers for customers to use as resolvers? I’m not sure the device >> documentation will have recommended DNS servers, you mean like 8.8.8.8? >> >> >> *From:* That One Guy /sarcasm <[email protected]> >> *Sent:* Thursday, September 03, 2015 5:40 PM >> *To:* [email protected] >> *Subject:* [AFMUG] canned reply for dmz >> >> We provide a courtesy air router to every customer. It was supposed to be >> a simple default configuration, the only customization was supposed to be >> the ESSID and key. anything else the customer is supposed to get their own >> router. >> Of course our customer facing staff can even fuck this up. Stuff like >> remote access DVRs and the femtocells become an issue. Our customer service >> staff is not IT savvy enough to explain anything to a customer, Im amazed >> that they are even able to get in and out in the correct order for >> breathing. I keep coming across undocumented port forwards, which creates a >> whole other set of issues. >> >> So Im planning on adding a DMZ to a single IP that is outside the DHCP >> pool. >> >> A canned reply is to be emailed to the customer (I have my doubts they >> wont somehow fuck this up too) >> >> Can I get a peer review of the words in this to make sure my hatred for >> the customers is not coming through in the tone? >> >> >> >> >> Per your request for port access for your device, the following >> configuration changes will need to be made on the device. It is recommended >> that you seek the assistance of a competent IT company or utilize the >> support channel available from your device manufacturer or point of >> purchase. >> >> The following configuration should allow your device to function in >> conjunction with the Company provided router. This is the only option >> available. Should this not be sufficient for function of your device you >> will need to purchase a router that you are able to manage on your own or >> with the assistance of an IT professional. >> >> >> >> >> >> Information to provide to IT staff: >> >> Device IP: 192.168.1.2 >> >> Device Subnet: 255.255.255.0 >> >> Device Gateway: 192.168.1.1 >> >> DNS Servers: Use device documentation for recommended DNS Servers >> >> *If your device supports the use of a dynamic DNS update server it is >> recommended that you utilize this option for a human friendly name and to >> ensure reliable device connectivity. Please contact your product >> documentation or product support channel for assistance in this >> configuration. >> >> Please go to http://whatismyip.com to check your current public IP >> address, this may change over time, so if you lose access to your device >> you will need to check this site from your home first. >> >> >> >> ** Per the Acceptble Use Policy http://die/aup provision of your Terms >> of Service, you should be aware that the use of your device in its function >> as a quasi-server may result in unacceptable use resulting in suspension or >> termination of service without notice. >> >> ***DISCLAIMER*** >> >> DMZ exposes all ports on target device to the public. Internet provider >> assumes no liability for insecure or misconfigured devices. >> >> >> -- >> If you only see yourself as part of the team but you don't see your team >> as part of yourself you have already failed as part of the team. >> > > > > -- > If you only see yourself as part of the team but you don't see your team > as part of yourself you have already failed as part of the team. >
