Re: This isn't for attention
Thank you all... I'm trying to keep on going. I should elaborate, this girl was not my first love. I've had others. But I truly thought, and still think, that she is the one. I hope to fight through this rough patch and marry her someday. I know I now, I'm only sixteen, or will be next month, but I've gone through things in my life that have given me the mentality of a 30 or even 40 year old. I've been told I'm more mature than most 30 year olds out there. Anyhow, that's beside the point. The way my depression works is I'll lay for hours on my laptop, talking to a friend about it then 30 seconds later we're cracking jokes and poking fun at one another, then 30 seconds later the cycle begins again. I imagine it's exhausting for them and more than a tad annoying. There are times where I'll turn on a song and just curl up and cry. It'll last maybe 5 minutes, then I'll feel better for a few hours. I always stop myself fr om ending it to think how would Erowyn feel? How would my best friend Brit feel? How would my family feel? My uncle who I go hunting with every deer season? My mom and sister? My friend Dustin, or my best blind friend Khannon? I know I have people who care about me even if I don't see it at times. Sometimes I forget that. They, especially Erowyn, are the ones who keep me fighting from day to day. I may be extremely angry with my mom and sister, and yes very afraid of them, but I know somewhere deep down that they do love me. Sometimes I just can't stand the thought of going through another day.
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