Re: advice
I certainly don't think marriage is the only way to a happy partnership. In fact, I tend to agree that, in many cases, people do it either because they're expected to, or because of the legal benefits it provides. Having said that, while I would be perfectly content to skip the whole business of engagement and marriage, should that time come, I also think that, if I care enough for my potential partner, and they would be affronted if marriage wasn't the end goal, that would be something I could compromise on. Everyone has a different threshhold for these sorts of things. In my case, having children is my dealbreaker, though unfortunately I'm beginning to realize that I'm cutting myself off from a lot of great oppurtunities, since that's so central to many people's identity and goals. I knew this logically, of course, but recent circumstances have forced me to look at it through a much less rational lens as well.
I think that it's very possible, though not always easy, to state your needs and desires in a non-threatening fashion. I got the impression that the OP in this topic probably did come on too agressively, especially in regards to the tattoo question. It's ok to have an irrational negative reaction to certain things, no matter if you can actually understand why you're having that reaction or not, although of course that's preferable. What is really not ok though is to project those views onto someone who is, for lack of a better term, not yours, or becoming overly defensive about things that person chooses to do with their life or body. It's ok to say that you don't want to be involved with someone who has x characteristic, but making that person feel like they have to justify it to you, or worse, make them insecure about a thing that subsets of society already shame them for, is a marker of low emotional intelligence.
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