Re: advice
Greetings munawar.
You definitely make some good points here and they feel too real for me to dismiss. I do indeed believe in love ever lasting and that Lisa my diosa is the one for me. However, it would be foolish to expect absolute perfection in any relationship be it romantic or otherwise. We both have shortcomings/faults that we need to work on in order for us to grow as individuals and we both accept that we're going to get things wrong from time to time. Could we hurt one another without even intending to? Indeed we can and the trick is not to argue about it but instead present our own arguments respectfully while taking into account the other's arguments and accepting them as valid, even if you don't agree. The one thing we will never do is dominate the other; we will listen, communicate and come to an understanding. This is why I'll never agree with those who say it's normal to argue. As for cheating, there's just no need for it, nor should the temptation be felt. The reason why I say this is because open relationships do exist. No I'm not in an open relationship but first Victoria then Lisa my diosa asked me to be monogamous and I agreed because I was not forced to make the decision and it was a request, not a demand. I know that if you have 3 or more in an open relationship, it can get very complicated very quickly. Also, why should it always be the man who has multiple women? Why not a woman with multiple men? Why is such thing frowned upon? I don't see the problem personally, I just choose to be monogamous because it makes both Lisa and I happy; we're already complete. Now, going briefly into spirituality, are monogamous relationships truly monogamous? Wouldn't it be fair to say that we have triune relationships and for those who are single, biune or duo relationships? So who is the third then in said relationships or second if you're single? Why, Allah Jehovah Mother/Father God. Finally, is there anything wrong with being single? Indeed there is not and singlehood is something to be treasured and enjoyed. Looking back, I regret not having enjoyed my bachelorhood and there was no reason for me not to have enjoyed it save for the fact that I wanted something I couldn't have at the time. from what you've told us, bachelorhood definitely agrees with you. Having said that, I absolutely despise cultures hereby you're looked down on if you're not married by a certain age. The concept of enforced arranged marriages disgusts me to the core and if I get lynched for saying this, I will not retract my next statement. Those who force/enforce anything be it arranged marriages or anything else for that matter are in error for practising such. While I wouldn't call the people themselves despicable, I can definitely call their actions despicable; hate the sin and love the sinner. As for voluntary arranged marriages, they're rather like date nights and you don't have to accept those your family presents to you as romantic interests. However, it would be wise to befriend them and you can always present someone who you've fallen in love with to the family and you to their family. We could go into other points to like same gender romantic relationships and the like but I don't have a very strong opinion regarding them. All I can say about that is if they make you happy and you make them happy then nobody should stand in the way of love for any reason hat so ever. As for bachelorhood and spinsterhood, nobody should look down on you for that and stand in your way just because they think that it's time for you to marry someone. I’m glad that you enjoy bachelorhood and I truly believe that bachelorhood is just as precious as marriage. No, I’m not saying this as a yes man, I’m saying it because I recognise the fact that I should have enjoyed my own bachelorhood before going into a romantic relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade my diosa Lisa wife for anything or anyone and I’m very happy where I am. I simply recognise that I should have enjoyed the time before we decided to be a couple.
Kind regards, Amin Abdullah.
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