Re: Brain or mind, let them shine: a challenge of creativity
@Jayd:
The Charine part is exactly why I say is very optional. It's there for readers to imagine from how you made it in the scene. I just put it there to say that you can either make it obvious or leave it for speculation. Either way works, and you choose the first, which I myself personally like as it adds to the feel of the story.
As to colors, I myself can imagine those, may be a bit hard with colors since I myself can't see at all since birth, but still doesn't mean I can't imagine. The wenberries part was there, but the explanation about him falling down the mountain isn't, unless I missed some part. You said art saves him, follow by art is what ends his life. There's a little gap in between which, if you don't answer, leaves reader puzzled as well. This mean further imagine depends on how one take it.
@Brad:
You somewhat contradict what you said in your latest post with how you narrated your story. I'm not gonna say I'm right or you're right. Other readers can see it differently. But for me personally, it's more of a narration. One point is correct, however, that you want to focus on the character. But the emotion part isn't yet clearly brought to life. I still say it's good though, not for novel but for shortstory.:)
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