Re: Castaways contest, with cash prizes!
Aprone has asked for some hints from folks who have scored a success or two. Dark offered his wisdom on playing the hunter, so here's my own hot tips, hopefully not too explicit, on how to play the lumberjack:
Firstly, select your tree! Pick a good looking mature specimin. If your preference is conifer, there's a sweet spot just below the bushy part, near the base of the trunk. With one hand on your saw, and one on the trunk, gently guide your tool to this spot.
At this point, I should point out, that if it's a solo job, both hands on your tool is probably the way to go. It's preferable of course to have a partner, and finding a rhythm here is the key. After around 20 strokes your tool should have nicely penetrated deep into the body of the trunk and you can both let rip. You can ignore a few squeeks, but if the tool is a tight fit, then a bit of oil in the right place works a treat.
A fe w short strokes towards the end is advisable. At the point of climax it's not necessary, indeed it's bad practice, to withdraw your tool, just enjoy the moment.
It can be exhilarating, and it can be exhausting, but both of you should be able to walk away aftterwards, otherwise you've done something wrong! nobody should be crushed by the experience!.
When it's all over, you can say something like "we make a good team!", but yelping with joy and doing a high-5 is probably bad form.
Afterwards, it's a good idea to clean and inspect your tool. If you've got a good partner then keep them, otherwise you can swap around until you find someone compatible.
Above all, practice makes perfect - a rusty tool is no good to anyone!
Some folks tell me the lumberjack's preferred tool is his trusty chopper, but some folks are just crude.
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