Hi Ted and Stuart,

This is a friendly reminder that we have yet to hear back from you regarding 
this document’s readiness for publication.  

Please review the AUTH48 status page (http://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9665) 
for further information and the previous messages in this thread for pertinent 
communication.

Thank you,
RFC Editor/st

> On Apr 22, 2025, at 9:24 AM, Sarah Tarrant <[email protected]> 
> wrote:
> 
> Hi Ted,
> 
> Thank you for your reply. We have updated the document accordingly.
> 
> Please review the document carefully to ensure satisfaction as we do not make 
> changes once it has been published as an RFC. Contact us with any further 
> updates or with your approval of the document in its current form.  We will 
> await approvals from each author prior to moving forward in the publication 
> process.
> 
> The updated files have been posted here (please refresh):
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9665.txt
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9665.pdf
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9665.html
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9665.xml
> 
> The relevant diff files have been posted here (please refresh):
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9665-diff.html (comprehensive diff)
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9665-auth48diff.html (AUTH48 changes 
> only)
> 
> Note that it may be necessary for you to refresh your browser to view the 
> most recent version. 
> 
> For the AUTH48 status of this document, please see:
> https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9665
> 
> Thank you,
> RFC Editor/st
> 
>> On Apr 18, 2025, at 4:31 PM, Ted Lemon <[email protected]> wrote:
>> 
>> On 17 Apr 2025, at 14:26, Sarah Tarrant <[email protected]> 
>> wrote:
>>> Stuart and Ted - We have a few followup questions/comments:
>>> 
>>> A) Regarding:
>>>> XML comment from Ted:
>>>> Adding a dependent clause here obscures the meaning of the second half of 
>>>> the compound sentence.
>>> 
>>> Current:
>>> DNS-SD [RFC6763] also allows clients to discover services using the
>>> DNS protocol over traditional unicast [RFC1035]. 
>>> 
>>> Would the following make the dependent clause relationship more clear? If 
>>> not, feel free to provide your preferred text.
>>> 
>>> Perhaps:
>>> DNS-SD [RFC6763] also allows clients to discover services by using the
>>> DNS protocol over traditional unicast [RFC1035].
>> 
>> Yes, this is a good clarification.
>> 
>>> B) Regarding:
>>>> XML comment from Ted:
>>>> I don't think e.g. should have a comma after it. I changed it to "for 
>>>> example" to illustrate why I think this, but my Latin is rusty, so maybe 
>>>> it does make sense when the abbreviation is used? Ah, I see why I'm 
>>>> confused. In most of the cases where e.g. or for example is being used, 
>>>> it's being used like this: If we use foo, for example, then BAR. But here 
>>>> debugging isn't the example, so the extra comma changes the meaning.
>>> 
>>> Ted's text:
>>> This is optional because
>>> the reverse mapping PTR record serves no essential protocol function,
>>> but it may be useful for debugging, for example in annotating network
>>> packet traces or logs. 
>>> 
>>> We understand that commas may seem to break up thoughts, but thankfully 
>>> this is not the case for "e.g.", "i.e.", or "for example". It is 
>>> house-style for there to be a comma before and after these elements, so it 
>>> does not break the sentence. We have examples of this in the style guide 
>>> (https://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc7322) as well as the Web Portion of the 
>>> Style Guide (https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/). Please let us 
>>> know if you would like to revert back to "e.g.".
>>> 
>>> Current:
>>> This is optional because
>>> the reverse mapping PTR record serves no essential protocol function,
>>> but it may be useful for debugging, for example, in annotating network
>>> packet traces or logs.
>> 
>> I really don't love this sentence either way. We're trying to say too much. 
>> How about:
>> 
>> This is optional: the reverse mapping PTR record serves no essential 
>> protocol function. One reason to provide reverse mappings is that they can 
>> be used to annotate logs and network packet traces.
>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> C) Regarding:
>>>>> 15) <!-- [rfced] We had some questions regarding capitalization of 
>>>>> certain terms:
>>>>> 
>>>>> b) We see the following similar terms.  Please review and let us know
>>>>> if/how to make these terms consistent.
>>>>> 
>>>>> service instance name 
>>>>> Service Instance Name
>>>>> "Service Instance Name"
>>>> [Ted] The above are all the same thing
>>> 
>>> May we update to "service instance" for all, then?
>> 
>> No. Where you see "service instance" and not "service instance name" we are 
>> talking about the thing the name refers to: these are two separate things. 
>> It's fine to use all lowercase though, if that's what you were asking.
>> 
>>> D) Regarding:
>>>> f) Regarding the terms "Service Description", Service Discovery, and
>>>> "Host Description".
>>>> 
>>>> - We see both Instruction and instruction when following these terms.
>>>> If/How may we make this uniform?
>>>> 
>>>> - Should “instruction” or the like should be inserted after instances
>>>> of these terms?  Sometimes they are followed by "record" or "update",
>>>> if they appear without a label, might this be confusing to the reader?
>>>> 
>>>> Example:
>>>> The KEY record in Service Description updates MAY be omitted for
>>>> brevity; if it is omitted, the SRP registrar MUST behave as if the
>>>> same KEY record that is given for the Host Description is also given
>>>> for each Service Description for which no KEY record is provided.
>>> 
>>> Please let us know if we need to make any changes regarding this question. 
>>> It appears that this may no have been addressed.
>> 
>> The service description is the data structure. The service description 
>> instruction is the collection of updates that, when applied together, 
>> creates the intended service description. A service description update is an 
>> individual update in a service description instruction. Please do not make 
>> any changes to the way we have written this.
>> 
>>> E) Regarding the IANA section:
>>> 
>>> The text refers to IESG Approval but also points to RFC 8126 to define 
>>> "specification exists".  Do we need to reference 8126 again here because 
>>> it's quoted text?  
>>> 
>>> The following appears in Section 10.3: 
>>> The IETF has change control for this
>>> registry. New entries may be added either as a result of Standards
>>> Action or with IESG Approval, provided that a specification exists
>>> [RFC8126].
>>> 
>>> It is unclear whether "specification exists [RFC8126]" means: 
>>> 
>>> a) a combination of IESG Approval and Specification Required 
>>> 
>>> b) IESG Approval, provided that a document exists
>>> 
>>> Does the text refer to the definition of "Specification Required" to 
>>> indicate what satisfies "specification", as opposed to defining the 
>>> Specification Required policy overall (which also requires expert review)?
>> 
>> The intention is that an entry in the registry can be created either through 
>> standards action (that is, a standards-track RFC being published). Or, a 
>> document exists and the IESG approves adding the entry (e.g. an ISE document 
>> , an informational IETF document, or an external SDO's document). I realize 
>> that Standards Action subsumes "document exists + IESG approval" and so this 
>> is a bit confusing. What we specifically mean here is "Specification 
>> Required AND IESG approval" as described in sections 4.6 and 4.10 of RFC8126.
>> 
>>> 
>>> If this is the case, may we use the relevant text from RFC 8126.  For 
>>> example: 
>>> 
>>> New entries may be added either as a result of
>>> Standards Action (Section 4.9 of [RFC8126]) or with IESG Approval
>>> (Section 4.10 of [RFC8126]), provided that the values and 
>>> their meanings are documented in a permanent and readily
>>> available public specification, in sufficient detail so that
>>> interoperability between independent implementations is possible.
>> 
>> This text accurately conveys our intention, so it's fine to use it.
>> 
>> Thanks for your continued patience and effort on this. Hopefully we are 
>> nearly there. :)
>> 
> 

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