Dear all,

I reviewed the changes made over the different revision.
Thanks for these careful changes. I approve it from my side as well.

Best regards
Jérôme




Le 17/09/2025 à 19:24, Alexander Clemm a écrit :
> ⚠ Sender external to the University's network. See the security guidelines at 
> iso.uni.lu.
>
> Hello Alice,
>
> thank you very much!  I have reviewed the changes; this looks great.  Many 
> thanks for all your support!
>
> With this, I approve as well.
>
> Kind regards
> --- Alex
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Alice Russo <[email protected]>
> Sent: Wednesday, September 17, 2025 8:07 AM
> To: Cedric Westphal <[email protected]>; Alexander Clemm <[email protected]>
> Cc: Jérôme François <[email protected]>; Laurent Ciavaglia (Nokia) 
> <[email protected]>; Alexander Clemm <[email protected]>; 
> [email protected]; Jeff Tantsura <[email protected]>; Marie-Paule Odini 
> <[email protected]>; IRSG <[email protected]>; auth48archive 
> <[email protected]>; RFC Editor <[email protected]>
> Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9845 <draft-irtf-nmrg-green-ps-06> for your 
> review
>
> Cedric, Alex,
>
> Thank you for your replies. We have updated the document as requested, with 
> two changes to the text provided for Section 1.1: removed extraneous 
> parenthesis in 'atmosphere)'; changed 'but by also reducing' to 'but also by 
> reducing'.
>
> This diff file shows only the changes since the last posted version:
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-lastrfcdiff.html
>
>
> The revised files are here (please refresh):
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.html
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.txt
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.pdf
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.xml
>
> This diff file shows all changes from the approved I-D:
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-diff.html
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-rfcdiff.html (side by side)
>
> This diff file shows the changes made during AUTH48 thus far:
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-auth48diff.html
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-auth48rfcdiff.html (side by 
> side)
>
> Cedric wrote:
>> I approve as well!
> Your approval has been recorded.
>
> We will wait to hear from Alex again and from Jeff, Marie-Paule, and Jérôme 
> before continuing the publication process. This page shows the AUTH48 status 
> of your document:
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9845
>
> Thank you.
> RFC Editor/ar
>
>> On Sep 15, 2025, at 11:58 AM, Alexander Clemm <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>> Dear Alice,
>>
>> I have returned from my trip.  Thank you so much for your support in driving 
>> this forward, and to Carlos for jumping in during my absence!
>>
>> I have the following small comments outstanding:
>>
>> (1) Could you please record my affiliation as "Sympotech"?  (Address, email 
>> etc staying the same, just s/Independent/Sympotech/).  Thank you!
>>
>>
>> (2) Current:
>>
>>    Therefore, the networking industry has an important role to play in
>>    meeting sustainability goals and not just by enabling others to
>>    reduce their reliance on energy but by also reducing its own.
>>
>> I find the "and" that was added a bit awkward; why not make it a comma which 
>> more clearly separates the two aspekts (not just one, but als the other) to 
>> result in:
>>
>> Suggested:
>>
>>    Therefore, the networking industry has an important role to play in
>>    meeting sustainability goals, not just by enabling others to
>>    reduce their reliance on energy but by also reducing its own.
>>
>> (3) Section 6.1.  We got rid of "right-placing", replacing it with 
>> "correctly place".  "Correct" is not the proper term here; you can place 
>> functions in ways that are correct but that are at the same time inefficient 
>> and suboptimal.  I think "correct" needs to be replaced with "smart" here. 
>> i.e.:
>>
>> Current:
>> Likewise, there are opportunities to correctly place functionality in
>>    the network for optimal effectiveness.
>>
>> Suggested:
>>
>> Likewise, there are opportunities to smartly place functionality in
>>    the network for optimal effectiveness.
>>
>> (4) After the text changes, I think the 2nd paragraph in the motivation now 
>> sounds a bit awkward and redundant (not wrong, but can be stylistically 
>> improved; also this is at the very beginning of the document where we should 
>> perhaps word things not quite as lengthily and should come to the point).   
>> I liked the original version better.  This will not be worth holding the 
>> document up over, but I am wondering if we could still apply some 
>> wordsmithing, perhaps:
>>
>> (If that throws in too much a wrench, please let me know in which case
>> I will withdraw my comment as it is not worth holding the document up
>> over)
>>
>> Current:
>> The science behind greenhouse gas emissions and their relationship
>>    with climate change is complex.  However, there is overwhelming
>>    scientific consensus pointing toward a clear correlation between
>>    climate change and a rising amount of greenhouse gases in the
>>    atmosphere.  When we say 'greenhouse gases' or GHG, we are referring
>>    to gases in the Earth's atmosphere that trap heat and contribute to
>>    the greenhouse effect.  They include carbon dioxide (CO2), methane
>>    (CH4), nitrous oxide (N2O), and fluorinated gases (as covered under
>>    the Kyoto Protocol and Paris Agreement).  In terms of emissions from
>>    human activity, the dominant greenhouse gas is CO2; consequently, it
>>    often becomes shorthand for "all GHGs".  However, other gases are
>>    also converted into "CO2-equivalents", or CO2e.  One greenhouse gas
>>    of particular concern, but by no means the only one, is carbon
>>    dioxide (CO2).  Carbon dioxide is emitted in the process of burning
>>    fuels to generate energy that is used, for example, to power
>>    electrical devices such as networking equipment.  Notable here is the
>>    use of fossil fuels (such as oil, which releases CO2 that had long
>>    been removed from the earth's atmosphere), as opposed to the use of
>>    renewable or sustainable fuels that do not "add" to the amount of CO2
>>    in the atmosphere.  There are additional gases associated with
>>    electricity generation, in particular methane (CH4) and nitrous oxide
>>    (N2O).  Although they exist in smaller quantities, they have an even
>>    higher Global Warming Potential (GWP).
>>
>> Suggested:
>>
>> The science behind greenhouse gas emissions and their relationship
>>    with climate change is complex.  However, there is overwhelming
>>    scientific consensus pointing toward a clear correlation between
>>    climate change and a rising amount of greenhouse gases in the
>>    atmosphere.  When we say 'greenhouse gases' or GHG, we are referring
>>    to gases in the Earth's atmosphere that trap heat and contribute to
>>    the greenhouse effect.  They include carbon dioxide (CO2), methane
>>    (CH4), nitrous oxide (N2O), and fluorinated gases (as covered under
>>    the Kyoto Protocol and Paris Agreement).
>>    In terms of emissions from
>>    human activity, the dominant greenhouse gas is carbon dioxide (CO2).
>>    CO2 is emitted in the process of burning
>>    fuels to generate energy that is used, for example, to power
>>    electrical devices such as networking equipment.  Those fuels often
>> include fossil fuels (such as oil), which releases
>>   CO2 that had long
>>    been removed from the earth's atmosphere), as opposed to the use of
>>    renewable or sustainable fuels that do not "add" to the amount of CO2
>>    in the atmosphere.
>>   Other GHGs such as CH4 and N2O are associated with electricity generation 
>> as well.
>> Although they are emitted in smaller quantities, they have an even
>>    higher Global Warming Potential (GWP).  To facilitate accounting for 
>> them, they are collectively simply converted into CO2 equivalents (CO2e).
>>
>> Thanks
>> --- Alex
>> On Sep 15, 2025, at 11:02 AM, Cedric Westphal <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>> Actually, I looked at the whole draft and not just the substance of
>> the text, and please update my affiliation as:
>> Cedric Westphal, Department of Computer Science and Engineering,
>> University of California, Santa Cruz.
>> The email can be updated to [email protected] but the ieee email is fine.
>> That's my only request.
>> Best,
>>
>> C.
>>
>> On Mon, Sep 15, 2025 at 11:00 AM Cedric Westphal <[email protected]> wrote:
>>> I approve as well!
>>>
>>> C.
>>>
>>> On Mon, Sep 15, 2025 at 12:53 AM Laurent Ciavaglia (Nokia)
>>> <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>> Dear Alice, dear all,
>>>>
>>>> I have reviewed the changes made over the AUTH48 process/period, and found 
>>>> them to address very well the identified issues, to improve the text and 
>>>> formulation overall and to not change the iniital meaning of the 
>>>> sentences/paragraphs.
>>>> Overall this is a very good work on the document for publication 
>>>> readiness. Thank you Alice, RFC Editor team and co-authors for the 
>>>> improvements.
>>>>
>>>> Also, I hereby communicate my approval this RFC for publication.
>>>>
>>>> Thank you, best regards, Laurent
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: Alice Russo <[email protected]>
>>>> Sent: Saturday, 6 September, 2025 10:31 PM
>>>> Cc: Alexander Clemm <[email protected]>; Alexander Clemm
>>>> <[email protected]>; [email protected]; Laurent Ciavaglia (Nokia)
>>>> <[email protected]>; Jeff Tantsura
>>>> <[email protected]>; Marie-Paule Odini <[email protected]>;
>>>> IRSG <[email protected]>; Jérôme François <[email protected]>;
>>>> auth48archive <[email protected]>; RFC Editor
>>>> <[email protected]>
>>>> Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9845 <draft-irtf-nmrg-green-ps-06>
>>>> for your review
>>>>
>>>> [You don't often get email from [email protected]. Learn
>>>> why this is important at
>>>> https://aka.ms/LearnAboutSenderIdentification ]
>>>>
>>>> CAUTION: This is an external email. Please be very careful when clicking 
>>>> links or opening attachments. See the URL nok.it/ext for additional 
>>>> information.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Carlos,
>>>>
>>>> Thank you for your reply. The revised files are here (please refresh):
>>>>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.html
>>>>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.txt
>>>>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.pdf
>>>>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845.xml
>>>>
>>>> This diff file shows all changes from the approved I-D:
>>>>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-diff.html
>>>>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-rfcdiff.html (side by
>>>> side)
>>>>
>>>> This diff file shows the changes made during AUTH48 thus far:
>>>>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-auth48diff.html
>>>>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-auth48rfcdiff.html (side
>>>> by side)
>>>>
>>>> This diff file shows only the changes since the last posted version:
>>>>   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9845-lastrfcdiff.html
>>>>
>>>> In addition to the changes you requested:
>>>> - removed extraneous 'to'.
>>>> - lowercased 'fluorinated'.
>>>> - replaced angled quotes with straight quotes per RFC style.
>>>>
>>>> Re:
>>>>> After fixing these three nits, please note and write down my
>>>>> Approval of the document at
>>>>> https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9845
>>>> Your approval has been recorded. We await word from your coauthors and the 
>>>> Document Shepherd before continuing the publication process.
>>>>
>>>> Alice Russo
>>>> RFC Production Center

--
Jérôme FRANCOIS
Research Scientist
SEDAN - SnT / University of Luxembourg

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