----- Original Message -----
From: "Dan Minette" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: "Killer Bs Discussion" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Sunday, November 16, 2003 12:14 AM
Subject: Re: christian dreams of murder...
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Doug Pensinger" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> To: "Killer Bs Discussion" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> Sent: Saturday, November 15, 2003 10:52 PM
> Subject: Re: christian dreams of murder...
>
>
> > Many of us that have
> > raised children or trained animals have come to the realization that
> > negative reinforcement doesn't work very well and in some cases it
works
> > very poorly indeed.
>
> Many folks probably do have that understanding, but a more common one
that
> I've seen is that enforcing boundaries is an absolute requirement in
> raising kids. In fact, its a common understanding in the mental health
> profession that good boundaries are absolutely essential in developing
> relationships with other peopple.
>
> We've set very firm but broad boundaries for our kids. When they stepped
> out of line, logical consequeces followed. This seemed to have worked
very
> well. Chores could slip, rooms could be messy. They could convince us
to
> change our minds. But, some things were just done.
>
> An example of this was the fact that we had no rules for our eldest
> concerning study habits. When she procrastinated and still wrote A
papers
> in two hours, then we figured she earned the right to have her own style.
> But, when our youngest underperformed, he lost his TV, computer
recreation,
> and game privleges from Sunday night until after school on Friday. As a
> high school Jr., he still needs to be nudged now and then, but pulling a
B
> intead of an A in an Advanced Placement Course due to lack of full focus
> rates a discussion of how this fits in his goals; not a withdrawl of
> privledges.
>
> I don't understand how parents who without boundaries suceed.
^^^
work
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