Callers list members,
First, let me apologize. Due to my health problems and the recent
arrival of my infant son, I have not been able to give this list the
attention it deserves. I have not been on top of moderation requests and
have not kept up with conversations. The most I've been able to do, most
of the time, is read the subject lines.
Now, I was very concerned when the tread titled "A Call For Civility"
hit my inbox and read it. Shortly after, I received Greg McKenzie's
unsubscription notification. I now have been able to read the
conversations leading up to that thread. I've been struggling with how
to respond to the callers list community about this, but I can't let
this go any longer, so I'm just going to have to go with my gut and stop
trying to puzzle it out with my head.
One of the things, actually it's the thing I love the most about the
contra dance community is it's inclusive and tolerant nature. When I
started dancing, I was socially awkward and bumbling. The community
welcomed me each week. I made friends. I got better at social
situations. I found a home. I found love there on the dance floor. I
have seen it over and over again at dances: socially marginal people
being welcomed, tolerated and accommodated in ways that they had never
experienced anywhere else. This is the ideal that makes our community
special. This is why I dedicate myself to creating this community
wherever I live, dance or call. It's why I started this list, so we
could learn how to make it better together.
That's why I've been so disappointed with how Greg was treated by this
community. We are supposed to be the leaders. We are supposed to be the
bearers of the ideals and show our dance communities how it's done. I've
never really understood the problems that people had with Greg. Yes, he
has strong opinions. Yes, he is socially awkward and doesn't always
communicate his intentions clearly. But I've always found him to be
straightforward with his opinions, positive in his criticism, creative
in his thinking and open to feedback. He and I butted heads many times
early in the list history and over on trad-dance-callers. I've learned a
lot in my discussions with him and reading his posts. I never took any
of his criticisms personally, because he criticized my ideas, not me. He
challenged my thinking on this list and I came out better for it. Not
because he convinced me, but because I thought through my ideas better
and understood why they were right. Although a lot of times, he
convinced me to change my ideas, too.
As part of his social awkwardness, sometimes he crossed the line in a
post. Every time, when people pointed it out to him, he apologized. Yes,
he crossed the line when he criticized the calling of people in an
easily identifiable video. But he apologized for it. Twice. And then was
repeatedly taken to task afterwards. Then talked about derisively in the
third person on-list. And he was right - other people added the
identifying names, not him. A valuable voice in this community was
driven out because his intentions were misunderstood. Several
disapproved of his "tone". I'm not sure how people can interpret "tone"
in an e-mail. It's a medium fraught with opportunities for
misinterpretation. To think that you understand the "tone" that the
author was intending seems crazy to me. We have to give each other the
benefit of the doubt if we are going to continue to be a healthy and
supportive community.
Now, I'm very sad to hear that people have decided not to post because
of Greg. I understand how hard it is to have your ideas challenged and
criticized. But I don't think that I ever read a post of his that was
purposefully mean-spirited or an individual attack. If you have an
example of such and instance, then please forward it to me off-list.
Let's not start another public bash-fest. If you have solid, factual
criticisms of him, then I do want to hear them. It's just that what is
being said now isn't justified by my experience with him.
I encourage people to put their ideas forward. We're here to find the
best ideas here and make the dancer's experience the best it can be. To
become the best callers we can be, we need ideas to be shared,
discussed, challenged and debated so we can find the best ones. We also
need this to be a safe place for people to ask their questions and share
their ideas, so keep being the positive, supportive community I know you
can be.
We're better than this. We can have the free exchange of ideas with the
same acceptance and tolerance that we have on the dance floor. This is
what has made this list special for the last 9 1/2 years. Let's not
loose sight of what's important.
Chris Weiler
SharedWeight co-founder/moderator
Craftsbury, VT
