Given the discussion about various zonked out celebrities, I thought
this is appropriate.

larry


THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary 
3. Proliferation 
4. Cinnamon 

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

1. Specificity
2. British Constitution 
3. Passive-aggressive disorder 

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me. 
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type. 
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight? 
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing. 

New Alcohol Warning Labels:

1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what
the hell happened to your bra.

2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing
like a retard.

4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your
friends over and over again that you love them.

5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can 
sing.

6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
morning.
  

7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without
spitting.

8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have
mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in
the morning and see something really scary.

10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that
you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you
are invisible.

13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people
are laughing WITH you - (he, he)!
. 
14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally
disappear.

15. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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