Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides 
and every time that Mary walked the boys could see her Thighs.... 

Mary had another skirt 'twas split right up the front 
..but she didn't wear that one very often 

 

 Mary had a little lamb 
 Her father shot it dead. 
 Now it goes to school with her, 
 between two chunks of bread. 

 

 Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, 
 her clothes all tattered and torn. 
 It wasn't a spider that crept up beside her, 
It was Little Boy Blue and his horn. 
 


 Mary had a little lamb 
 It ran into a pylon 
10,000 volts went up it's ass 
 and turned it's wool to nylon 

 

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie. 
Kissed the girls and made them cry. 
When the boys came out to play, 
He kissed them too, cause he was gay. 

 

Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky. 
Silly Jill forgot her pill 
And now there's little Franky. 

 

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone. 
When she bent over Rover took over, And gave her a bone of his own. 
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