Redneck Valentine

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue 
and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. 

Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze. 
Softer than Blue' and without all those fleas 

You move like the bass, which excite me in May. 
You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway. 

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan. 
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can. 

You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud; 
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd. 

On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, 
well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms. 

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, 
what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe. 

Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore
man, 
to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can. 

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. 
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed. 

Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, 
you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt. 

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, 
my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack. 

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl
sidin'. 
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'. 

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank, 
we go together like a skunk goes with stank. 

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day; 
They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way. 

Some men git roses on that special day 
from the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.


Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth. 
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.


But for this man, honey, these won't do. 
Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you. 

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, more useful
than
diamonds......
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR !! 


Hehehe...

Happy VD all,

Katie

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