> all babies (my own included) look like a hybrid of Mickey Rooney and
> Winston Churchill.

Come on, I'm sure yours were as cute as buttons, Charlie.  I know mine were.

Some do look more like the unholy product of sexual congress between Ernest
Borgnine and Leona Helmsley, though.  I remember when my first wife was
pregnant with David and we got the book "A Child Is Born" with all the
photos from pregnancy through birth.  This one picture of a newborn about to
start nursing looked like someone took some Jim Henson-esque character doll
from Toys-R-Us, heated it in the microwave, took it out all soft and
malleable, and *squashed its fuckin' head!*  Ugliest goddamned thing you
ever saw.  Add a soundtrack and you've got a horror flick.  Be afraid.  Be
very afraid.  Natural birth control.  Oh my God.

There *are* some genuinely cute newborns, though.

Respectfully,

Adam Phillip Churvis

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