What? This wasn't political enough for you bunch of scrooges to warrant a comment? :)
On Tue, Dec 22, 2009 at 9:11 AM, Erika L. Rich <elr...@ruwebby.com> wrote: > HOLIDAY EATING TIPS > > 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table > knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave > immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. > > 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot > find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has > 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an > eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have > two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas ! > > 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. > Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed > potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. > > 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or > whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car > with an automatic transmission. > > 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your > eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's > food for free. Lots of it. Hello? > > 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. > You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the > time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while > carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. > > 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted > Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near > them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of > attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, > you're never going to see them again. > > 8. Same for pies. Apple , Pumpkin , Mincemeat . Have a slice of each. Or if > you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have > three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day ? > > 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory > celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards. > > > 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or > get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; > start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this > motto to live by: > > "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving > safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in > sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally > worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" > > Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Want to reach the ColdFusion community with something they want? Let them know on the House of Fusion mailing lists Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/message.cfm/messageid:309702 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5
