I will say best wishes, do it if it feels right, and fuck the haters. I've been married 16 years, and with her for 22. Our relationship is (always) in flux, and may very well end in divorce someday. However we are best friends. We don't even live together due to health and work considerations, but we are soul mates.
Do no let others inability to make it be your focus, think about all the 50+ year couples out there. -----Original Message----- From: Erika L. Rich [mailto:elr...@ruwebby.com] Sent: Thursday, April 01, 2010 7:46 AM To: cf-community Subject: Re: popping the big question Matthew The one thing we all know on this list is that we are ALL different, live different lives, have different values, different experiences, believe in different things etc etc ... The bond of CF brings the majority of us together .... I know you likely haven't, but I wanted to re-iterate, do not let some of the bitter examples of marriage on this list sway your opinion at all. There are bona fide bachelors on here, there are divorcees that went thru hell. I have my own story and none of you have EVER heard it and NONE of you ever will. But suffice it to say I can give a few people here a run for their money a dozen times over. My current husband's divorce was a 2 year bitter battle zone, that no-one should EVER have had to go through. Involved him losing everything. And I do mean EVERYTHING. Money, grown adult sons that he loved and gave the world for, belongings. Everything. And she was the one that left the marriage, turned around, lied, and because of the court system, screwed him over hard. And I was bystander to it all. This kind of sh$t happens, and always will in our world. It's a matter of fact. It didn't make either of us bitter though .... Marriage was the icing on the cake for our relationship. Ours was rock solid before we did it, and the formal bond made it deeper. I can barely explain it. Besides the legality of it (now we're both protected in case something happens to either of us as far as property, health insurance, etc.) it tells us both, despite the previous failed attempts at a relationship, that we're in it to be the best husband and wife that we can to each other. HOWEVER - my point, as long as it's talking me to get there, is that nothing is guaranteed ever, including life. Live it while you can - and that means making a spectacular proposal to a woman that you love. Don't let others' bitter experiences ruin any thoughts in your head about what a tremendous thing it is to love someone so much you want to make them safe, give them your world and cherish them forever. Marriage means something different to everyone. And I believe no one, no matter what experience that person may have had, what their beliefs are, or what they *think* will happen, NO ONE should piss on someone else's parade. Life is too short for negativity. I think any way you propose is fantastic, and you'll come up with the best one for your situation. You're a pretty cool cat Matthew ... and I've been watching you take a bunch of pretty big steps here lately. It's been a pleasure to watch you grow outside your comfort zones and learn new exciting things. Best wishes man. :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Want to reach the ColdFusion community with something they want? Let them know on the House of Fusion mailing lists Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/message.cfm/messageid:314838 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/unsubscribe.cfm
