hole. Luckily, I didn't have enough money in the bank and the reversals bounced
back with only a $60 charge for a negative balance. I should be getting that
refunded. Still, I'm not so fast to put any money into the bank if they can just
take money out anytime they want.
> MikeyD-
> in all seriousness, this sounds criminal -
> did anyone file a complaint with the police?
> Hit at work?
> NOT !!!
> Sorry you had to even see, much less experience, any of this.
> -Ben
>
>
> >Being tied to a chair, yelled at, cursed at, hit, seeing your workmates hit
even
> >harder, told that you will not be paid unless you work 45 hours a week and
> >weekends. I think that's all abuse and that's what I saw (and happened to me)
in
> >just 1 week at my last job attempt. Anyone getting a NY based job that
involves
> >real estate, email me first for a warning. That all could happen to you.
> >
> >
> >> When I bang my head against the office wall, would that be workplace abuse?
> >> just wondering...
> >>
> >> -Benny
> >>
> >>
> >> >>From this website:
> >> >http://home.netcom.com/~workfam1/
> >> >
> >> >I was researching something for somebody and came across this website.
> >> >Lots of stuff people go through these days and it's a shame sometimes.
> >> >Glad I work from home. :/
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >AS WORKPLACE ABUSE ESCALATES WHY DON'T WE WORKING PEOPLE CONFRONT IT
> >> >COLLECTIVELY?
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >by Judith L. Wyatt. This recent paper is an extension of Judy Wyatt's
> >> >earlier groundbreaking article, Understanding Work Abuse written in
> >> >1988.
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >I am writing this paper because I am scared by what's now happening to
> >> >work in the USA. I am especially frightened because, although we as
> >> >working people are all affected, we are not addressing the work issue
> >> >collectively as we should or could. I want to talk with you about what I
> >> >believe stops us from acting in a collective, collaborative way to stop
> >> >emotionally abusive work.
> >> >
> >> >We are moving into an era where the term "work abuse," that I first
> >> >wrote about in 1988, is almost redundant. My clients in therapy come to
> >> >me more and more desperate about work; even the ones who are not
> >> >personally scapegoated can't find ways to be successful -- or in many
> >> >instances, even survive -- in the impossible situations that they face.
> >> >Whole departments are scapegoated; bosses tell outright lies in job
> >> >interviews in order to trap people into signing on to jobs that are
> >> >abusive.
> >> >
> >> >Yesterday I heard on the news that the Supreme Court made a ruling that
> >> >overturned many of the rights of workers with disabilities. George Bush
> >> >is removing the ergonomic rules from Osha's purview. This is a blatant
> >> >policy trend that mirrors the general deterioration of daily work
> >> >processes. Workplaces in the 21st century are more and more driven by
> >> >irrational top managers scrambling for control, not only of the market,
> >> >but of their own organizations. Driven by profits, they rush from one
> >> >unforeseen emergency to another making demands on employees that are so
> >> >unreasonable and contradictory that the employees find it impossible to
> >> >successfully complete a task--certainly not by deadline.
> >> >
> >> >As corporate behavior becomes more erratic and less predictable, it is
> >> >harder to avoid becoming a target for the irrationality of bosses and
> >> >coworkers who are struggling not to go down themselves. Blaming,
> >> >bullying and scapegoating become the norm for passing the buck of
> >> >failure and saving one's own skin at someone else's expense. Integrity
> >> >is a thing of the past, replaced by open idealization of ruthlessness as
> >> >necessary to make it in the "real" world.
> >> >
> >> >In this grim and heartbreaking environment, who among us can even
> >> >imagine a non-abusive workplace? Who has experienced one?
> >> >
> >> >What's happening here in the U.S. says we have to look beyond our
> >> >individual work systems to the trans-organizational system to understand
> >> >the escalation of work abuse. Looking at the big systems picture, we
> >> >have the trappings of democratic institutions and Constitutional rights,
> >> >yet our so-called free elections are run by two party machines, rapidly
> >> >merging into one political conglomerate that represents a small ruling
> >> >elite. This elite is becoming increasingly overt in manipulating the
> >> >marketplace and the law to serve the interests of one percent of the
> >> >people at the expense of the rest of us. If you doubt the truth of this,
> >> >witness the steady loss of wages, job security, and health care for
> >> >workers in the U.S. since 1970. A specific example: the U.S. is first in
> >> >the world in health care spending but 37th in delivery of services (WHO
> >> >1998). Top insurance execs are raking off funds that should go to care
> >> >of workers' families. 40 Million Americans go without any health
> >> >insurance whatsoever.
> >> >
> >> >Please read along with me while I address the question, "Why is it so
> >> >hard for each of us to wake up to the reality of this danger---even to
> >> >see it, let alone act to stop it?"
> >> >
> >> >We Feel The Lack of "Community," but Can We See It?
> >> >
> >> >The contradictions we experience at work are a microcosm of a larger
> >> >problem. We can't imagine a non-abusive workplace because we don't live
> >> >in, and can't imagine, a truly supportive community. The isolation we
> >> >feel at work is reenforced by the isolation and fear we feel on the
> >> >streets, on freeways or buses, and in our neighborhoods when we get
> >> >home.
> >> >
> >> >For many of my clients this is true of their family lives as well. We're
> >> >lucky if we have a partner to live with who is more than a task
> >> >companion, more than someone else (outside work) to engage in power
> >> >struggles with. We're lucky to have or make the time to have quality
> >> >interactions with our kids instead of just managing their lives and
> >> >keeping them in line. So many people are on the treadmill of two incomes
> >> >with forced overtime and the trauma of jobs that drain, humiliate and
> >> >infuriate them, they barely have energy to keep a household running, let
> >> >alone relate to partner and kids in ways that are not perfunctory,
> >> >superficial, or frustrated. Everyday I hear of this happening to my
> >> >clients.
> >> >
> >> >If we have little time for immediate family, of course we have none to
> >> >spare on neighbors. Even when we do, how many of us are able to imagine
> >> >forming deep bonds with those who live on our blocks? Can you imagine
> >> >participating in major life decisions with the people next door,
> >> >supporting each other when sick, sharing food, shelter, parenting, able
> >> >to be honest about differences and conflicts, and skilled enough to
> >> >resolve them, and to share from our hearts? Can you imagine that depth
> >> >of trust in others, and in yourself, that you wouldn't hold back out of
> >> >fear or shame? Can you imagine being able to receive this depth of
> >> >caring without feeling inferior and ashamed: can you imagine being
> >> >prepared to give support to others without feeling ripped off and
> >> >burdened?
> >> >
> >> >We are trapped in our miserable isolation because we blame ourselves
> >> >individually for being in the situation--blame ourselves for failing our
> >> >children, for letting friendships go, for not being strong enough to
> >> >work abusive jobs with grueling hours and still have high quality
> >> >personal lives. The increasingly censored media tells us that the
> >> >economy is booming, and bombards us with images of consumerist heaven
> >> >that never pan out for most of us. We don't actually realize and know
> >> >that the person down the street is as pressed and miserable as we are.
> >> >We don't know that the apparently unflappable person in the next cubicle
> >> >has the same nightmares about the boss and the deadlines that we do.
> >> >
> >> >If we insist on seeing fault as located in an individual -- either
> >> >ourselves or the other person -- then hope is only in a better
> >> >individual, us or the person we are with. So maybe we keep looking for
> >> >that person who will solve it all. But then maybe the problem is that
> >> >we're too flawed. Then we become preoccupied with making ourselves
> >> >better -- whether that means more pay, status, changing our physical
> >> >image, measuring up to some ideal. What we say to ourselves over and
> >> >over, or to our partners is: gear up, try harder. Either way we are
> >> >hooked, addicted, to the hype of one of the American media dream images
> >> >just as surely as if it were heroin.
> >> >
> >> >What is wrong with this picture? One mistake is not to see that we're
> >> >locked into a system that dictates these hardships for all of us and
> >> >each of us. Another is not to see that we are individually innocent of
> >> >fault or blame when what's happening to us is a social systems issue. A
> >> >further mistake is being too ashamed to talk to each other, and not to
> >> >break the "norm of silence."
> >> >
> >> >We Workers Are also Consumers Under Siege
> >> >
> >> >The institutions that serve us in place of community that we do not have
> >> >are multi-national or non-profit corporations. They relate to us with
> >> >the same usury and irrationality as when we work for them. The myth that
> >> >"the customer is always right" has becomes a blatantly obvious lie.
> >> >
> >> >We have only to look at delivery of health care in the U.S., and the way
> >> >managed care and insurance companies have turned hospitals into
> >> >factories and doctors into assembly line workers. How much bureaucracy
> >> >do you have to go through to ask your doctor a question? How much time
> >> >does he or she give you during appointments? Have you been treated like
> >> >a criminal by the workers comp system when you were disabled at work,
> >> >and had your claim denied or drag on for months and years?
> >> >
> >> >Just as bosses lie outright to employees, producers of goods and
> >> >services lie outright to customers, who are dupes and pawns at their
> >> >disposal. Products, often made in China, fall apart too easily; promised
> >> >services or conditions are not fulfilled, putting tremendous pressure on
> >> >us as consumers as more and more obstacles are thrown in our paths.
> >> >
> >> >The accelerating irrationality of work systems translates into bank
> >> >tellers, customer service reps and government workers who are less and
> >> >less informed about their product. They make more mistakes with less
> >> >knowledge about how to correct them ---and forced to cover up their
> >> >ignorance and blame the customer.
> >> >
> >> >All of this reinforces us to distrust each other, to be vigilant and on
> >> >the defensive even outside work. Where do we get relief? Unfortunately,
> >> >the norms of most churches and community support organizations--even
> >> >unions--are just as authoritarian and full of contradictions for the
> >> >people who work there. Most of us do not yet have the skills and
> >> >consciousness to risk creating intimate collaborative community cultures
> >> >when we are surrounded by the opposite everywhere else.
> >> >
> >> >Daily we try not to see homeless people on the streets, not to hear
> >> >stories of people treated poorly by the health care system, or assaulted
> >> >by the police. We are too terrified of being in their shoes to look at
> >> >what's happening. Instead, we draw in our resources and protect
> >> >ourselves. We are driven, manipulated and controlled by fear -- which
> >> >keeps us from thinking creatively, being open-hearted, or feeling we
> >> >have much left to offer each other.
> >> >
> >> >Lack of Community Support Forces Us to Adopt an Image
> >> >
> >> >A friend of mine recently joined a group that formed community. The
> >> >people in the group helped each person question their assumptions about
> >> >themselves, about the power in the group, about their personal limits.
> >> >My friend told me of the great relief she felt when she was able to come
> >> >to trust the group to take on the responsibility of her life with her --
> >> >that she no longer felt the burden of having to live up to her own ideal
> >> >to feel good about herself. Her good feelings about herself came from
> >> >the vitality of the group, of sharing problems and solutions, and from
> >> >giving up worrying about her image (how she appeared to others in order
> >> >to be accepted).
> >> >
> >> >After I spoke with her, I had a major realization. I have long known and
> >> >often heard that Americans live in a "narcissistic" culture, addicted to
> >> >image, and that this addiction separates people from real connection to
> >> >themselves and to each other. Now I see clearly that systemic lack of
> >> >community and real connection forces people into an addiction to image.
> >> >I see that people, all of us, are forced to inflate our sense of
> >> >self-importance as a compensation for the lack of meaningful connection
> >> >to others. We are obsessively self-involved with our image because we
> >> >have no one to relate to in a real way, including ourselves.
> >> >
> >> >What is "narcissism" and what do I mean by image? In our book, Work
> >> >Abuse, we talk about managers who create an ideal self, and they won't
> >> >tolerate feedback that challenges that ideal. Their subordinates become
> >> >good at lying to protect bosses from the pain they'd feel if they had to
> >> >face facts that contradicted their self-image -- and the rage and blame
> >> >they'd direct at us if we were the messengers of the real facts.
> >> >
> >> >Why is the manager so caught in this ideal image of himself? He is
> >> >avoiding the emptiness he feels inside, which is the absence of
> >> >self-worth that's not based on performance. He developed this empty
> >> >worthless feeling as a child when he learned from his parents and/or at
> >> >school that his real unique self, his own needs and feelings were
> >> >useless and unacceptable. Only his performance mattered.
> >> >
> >> >We have all met such managers; we have all seen politicians and movie
> >> >stars who fit the same description. They are in love with their image,
> >> >because they have nothing but shame for what's inside. The key to their
> >> >condition is the lack of genuine connection and relatedness when they
> >> >were kids.
> >> >
> >> >Do we all live in a narcissistic culture because of our childhoods? The
> >> >systemic answer is that we are forced into a narcissistic solution to
> >> >the lack of relatedness we feel at every stage of our development
> >> >socially. Even if our caretakers were able to connect with our feelings
> >> >in a supportive way, we lost that support in school, where we were
> >> >taught to perform, to buckle to authority, to learn to be helpless, to
> >> >become acclimatized to the conditions of the workplace waiting for us.
> >> >The lack of community support for us and our parents caused us all to
> >> >feel competitive, isolated, struggling for worth growing up.
> >> >
> >> >Look at the ideology, propaganda, myth about American self-reliance and
> >> >individualism that surrounds us. We are taught to place value on going
> >> >it alone, to deprecate need and vulnerability, to idealize status and
> >> >performance, to romanticize the tragic hero or anti-hero, to worship
> >> >competition, and to denigrate group membership. Groups in the U.S. are
> >> >seen as faceless masses, mobs and mediocrity. Most of my clients feel
> >> >more worthless about being "ordinary" than about being "bad." Everything
> >> >is about excelling and standing out from the group; nothing about
> >> >belonging and sharing.
> >> >
> >> >To turn isolation into something heroic fits the "black is white"
> >> >disinformation code of the currently censored media, to keep us
> >> >believing in and hooked on a phony ideal which we can only succeed at by
> >> >eradicating our hearts completely. Many in my profession of
> >> >psychotherapy feed the myth by tacitly blaming the individual,
> >> >especially the individual's childhood, for problems which are systemic
> >> >and current -- and our social isolation is as much part of everyone's
> >> >mental health problems as our abusive workplaces.
> >> >
> >> >We Have to Breakthrough A Fantasy of Psychotic Proportions
> >> >
> >> >Our current trans-organizational situation is deadly because the
> >> >narcissistic denial of our leaders, top managers, and those of us who
> >> >emulate them and want to be like them. Psychosis is the inability to
> >> >differentiate fantasy from reality. American society now lives a fantasy
> >> >so extreme that it threatens our very lives.
> >> >
> >> >Top managers are in psychotic denial when they allow their companies to
> >> >go under because it is too threatening to their rigidly protected
> >> >self-image of control and their dream of success to hear from
> >> >subordinates what the problems are and address them in time to save the
> >> >situation.
> >> >
> >> >We are all in psychotic denial when due to speed up on the treadmill of
> >> >daily life we don't confront the assaults on our freedoms, and we don't
> >> >admit how bad work abuse is getting. Presently, as things get worse, we
> >> >hang on tighter to whatever we've been doing -- we do it harder, even
> >> >though it isn't working, rather than to stop, look at the situation and
> >> >take action to prevent what's inevitable.
> >> >
> >> >It will take great courage for each of us to come down from the dream
> >> >image of status, power, and the consumerist escape of credit card debt
> >> >to deal with the pain of real life losses and limits we live with. We
> >> >have to face the fear of disintegration, the disappointment,
> >> >disillusionment and emptiness that comes from giving up a drug -- even
> >> >when the drug is the myth of the American dream. The more discrepant the
> >> >dream fantasy becomes from harsh reality, the harder will be our fall.
> >> >If we are willing to take this step together, if we are willing to break
> >> >the silence, we have a chance of beginning the hard work of building
> >> >community and bringing back into our lives a sanity that we have to
> >> >become willing to fight for.
> >> >
> >>
>
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