big check out of him if you could prove any of it.
-Kevin
----- Original Message -----
From: "Michael Dinowitz" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: "CF-Community" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Thursday, December 04, 2003 3:42 PM
Subject: Re: Re:Interesting Read - WORKPLACE ABUSE
> I quit. Then the boss reversed my last paycheck twice putting me $2500 in
the
> hole. Luckily, I didn't have enough money in the bank and the reversals
bounced
> back with only a $60 charge for a negative balance. I should be getting
that
> refunded. Still, I'm not so fast to put any money into the bank if they
can just
> take money out anytime they want.
>
> > MikeyD-
> > in all seriousness, this sounds criminal -
> > did anyone file a complaint with the police?
> > Hit at work?
> > NOT !!!
> > Sorry you had to even see, much less experience, any of this.
> > -Ben
> >
> >
> > >Being tied to a chair, yelled at, cursed at, hit, seeing your workmates
hit
> even
> > >harder, told that you will not be paid unless you work 45 hours a week
and
> > >weekends. I think that's all abuse and that's what I saw (and happened
to me)
> in
> > >just 1 week at my last job attempt. Anyone getting a NY based job that
> involves
> > >real estate, email me first for a warning. That all could happen to
you.
> > >
> > >
> > >> When I bang my head against the office wall, would that be workplace
abuse?
> > >> just wondering...
> > >>
> > >> -Benny
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> >>From this website:
> > >> >http://home.netcom.com/~workfam1/
> > >> >
> > >> >I was researching something for somebody and came across this
website.
> > >> >Lots of stuff people go through these days and it's a shame
sometimes.
> > >> >Glad I work from home. :/
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >AS WORKPLACE ABUSE ESCALATES WHY DON'T WE WORKING PEOPLE CONFRONT IT
> > >> >COLLECTIVELY?
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >by Judith L. Wyatt. This recent paper is an extension of Judy
Wyatt's
> > >> >earlier groundbreaking article, Understanding Work Abuse written in
> > >> >1988.
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >I am writing this paper because I am scared by what's now happening
to
> > >> >work in the USA. I am especially frightened because, although we as
> > >> >working people are all affected, we are not addressing the work
issue
> > >> >collectively as we should or could. I want to talk with you about
what I
> > >> >believe stops us from acting in a collective, collaborative way to
stop
> > >> >emotionally abusive work.
> > >> >
> > >> >We are moving into an era where the term "work abuse," that I first
> > >> >wrote about in 1988, is almost redundant. My clients in therapy come
to
> > >> >me more and more desperate about work; even the ones who are not
> > >> >personally scapegoated can't find ways to be successful -- or in
many
> > >> >instances, even survive -- in the impossible situations that they
face.
> > >> >Whole departments are scapegoated; bosses tell outright lies in job
> > >> >interviews in order to trap people into signing on to jobs that are
> > >> >abusive.
> > >> >
> > >> >Yesterday I heard on the news that the Supreme Court made a ruling
that
> > >> >overturned many of the rights of workers with disabilities. George
Bush
> > >> >is removing the ergonomic rules from Osha's purview. This is a
blatant
> > >> >policy trend that mirrors the general deterioration of daily work
> > >> >processes. Workplaces in the 21st century are more and more driven
by
> > >> >irrational top managers scrambling for control, not only of the
market,
> > >> >but of their own organizations. Driven by profits, they rush from
one
> > >> >unforeseen emergency to another making demands on employees that are
so
> > >> >unreasonable and contradictory that the employees find it impossible
to
> > >> >successfully complete a task--certainly not by deadline.
> > >> >
> > >> >As corporate behavior becomes more erratic and less predictable, it
is
> > >> >harder to avoid becoming a target for the irrationality of bosses
and
> > >> >coworkers who are struggling not to go down themselves. Blaming,
> > >> >bullying and scapegoating become the norm for passing the buck of
> > >> >failure and saving one's own skin at someone else's expense.
Integrity
> > >> >is a thing of the past, replaced by open idealization of
ruthlessness as
> > >> >necessary to make it in the "real" world.
> > >> >
> > >> >In this grim and heartbreaking environment, who among us can even
> > >> >imagine a non-abusive workplace? Who has experienced one?
> > >> >
> > >> >What's happening here in the U.S. says we have to look beyond our
> > >> >individual work systems to the trans-organizational system to
understand
> > >> >the escalation of work abuse. Looking at the big systems picture, we
> > >> >have the trappings of democratic institutions and Constitutional
rights,
> > >> >yet our so-called free elections are run by two party machines,
rapidly
> > >> >merging into one political conglomerate that represents a small
ruling
> > >> >elite. This elite is becoming increasingly overt in manipulating the
> > >> >marketplace and the law to serve the interests of one percent of the
> > >> >people at the expense of the rest of us. If you doubt the truth of
this,
> > >> >witness the steady loss of wages, job security, and health care for
> > >> >workers in the U.S. since 1970. A specific example: the U.S. is
first in
> > >> >the world in health care spending but 37th in delivery of services
(WHO
> > >> >1998). Top insurance execs are raking off funds that should go to
care
> > >> >of workers' families. 40 Million Americans go without any health
> > >> >insurance whatsoever.
> > >> >
> > >> >Please read along with me while I address the question, "Why is it
so
> > >> >hard for each of us to wake up to the reality of this danger---even
to
> > >> >see it, let alone act to stop it?"
> > >> >
> > >> >We Feel The Lack of "Community," but Can We See It?
> > >> >
> > >> >The contradictions we experience at work are a microcosm of a larger
> > >> >problem. We can't imagine a non-abusive workplace because we don't
live
> > >> >in, and can't imagine, a truly supportive community. The isolation
we
> > >> >feel at work is reenforced by the isolation and fear we feel on the
> > >> >streets, on freeways or buses, and in our neighborhoods when we get
> > >> >home.
> > >> >
> > >> >For many of my clients this is true of their family lives as well.
We're
> > >> >lucky if we have a partner to live with who is more than a task
> > >> >companion, more than someone else (outside work) to engage in power
> > >> >struggles with. We're lucky to have or make the time to have quality
> > >> >interactions with our kids instead of just managing their lives and
> > >> >keeping them in line. So many people are on the treadmill of two
incomes
> > >> >with forced overtime and the trauma of jobs that drain, humiliate
and
> > >> >infuriate them, they barely have energy to keep a household running,
let
> > >> >alone relate to partner and kids in ways that are not perfunctory,
> > >> >superficial, or frustrated. Everyday I hear of this happening to my
> > >> >clients.
> > >> >
> > >> >If we have little time for immediate family, of course we have none
to
> > >> >spare on neighbors. Even when we do, how many of us are able to
imagine
> > >> >forming deep bonds with those who live on our blocks? Can you
imagine
> > >> >participating in major life decisions with the people next door,
> > >> >supporting each other when sick, sharing food, shelter, parenting,
able
> > >> >to be honest about differences and conflicts, and skilled enough to
> > >> >resolve them, and to share from our hearts? Can you imagine that
depth
> > >> >of trust in others, and in yourself, that you wouldn't hold back out
of
> > >> >fear or shame? Can you imagine being able to receive this depth of
> > >> >caring without feeling inferior and ashamed: can you imagine being
> > >> >prepared to give support to others without feeling ripped off and
> > >> >burdened?
> > >> >
> > >> >We are trapped in our miserable isolation because we blame ourselves
> > >> >individually for being in the situation--blame ourselves for failing
our
> > >> >children, for letting friendships go, for not being strong enough to
> > >> >work abusive jobs with grueling hours and still have high quality
> > >> >personal lives. The increasingly censored media tells us that the
> > >> >economy is booming, and bombards us with images of consumerist
heaven
> > >> >that never pan out for most of us. We don't actually realize and
know
> > >> >that the person down the street is as pressed and miserable as we
are.
> > >> >We don't know that the apparently unflappable person in the next
cubicle
> > >> >has the same nightmares about the boss and the deadlines that we do.
> > >> >
> > >> >If we insist on seeing fault as located in an individual -- either
> > >> >ourselves or the other person -- then hope is only in a better
> > >> >individual, us or the person we are with. So maybe we keep looking
for
> > >> >that person who will solve it all. But then maybe the problem is
that
> > >> >we're too flawed. Then we become preoccupied with making ourselves
> > >> >better -- whether that means more pay, status, changing our physical
> > >> >image, measuring up to some ideal. What we say to ourselves over and
> > >> >over, or to our partners is: gear up, try harder. Either way we are
> > >> >hooked, addicted, to the hype of one of the American media dream
images
> > >> >just as surely as if it were heroin.
> > >> >
> > >> >What is wrong with this picture? One mistake is not to see that
we're
> > >> >locked into a system that dictates these hardships for all of us and
> > >> >each of us. Another is not to see that we are individually innocent
of
> > >> >fault or blame when what's happening to us is a social systems
issue. A
> > >> >further mistake is being too ashamed to talk to each other, and not
to
> > >> >break the "norm of silence."
> > >> >
> > >> >We Workers Are also Consumers Under Siege
> > >> >
> > >> >The institutions that serve us in place of community that we do not
have
> > >> >are multi-national or non-profit corporations. They relate to us
with
> > >> >the same usury and irrationality as when we work for them. The myth
that
> > >> >"the customer is always right" has becomes a blatantly obvious lie.
> > >> >
> > >> >We have only to look at delivery of health care in the U.S., and the
way
> > >> >managed care and insurance companies have turned hospitals into
> > >> >factories and doctors into assembly line workers. How much
bureaucracy
> > >> >do you have to go through to ask your doctor a question? How much
time
> > >> >does he or she give you during appointments? Have you been treated
like
> > >> >a criminal by the workers comp system when you were disabled at
work,
> > >> >and had your claim denied or drag on for months and years?
> > >> >
> > >> >Just as bosses lie outright to employees, producers of goods and
> > >> >services lie outright to customers, who are dupes and pawns at their
> > >> >disposal. Products, often made in China, fall apart too easily;
promised
> > >> >services or conditions are not fulfilled, putting tremendous
pressure on
> > >> >us as consumers as more and more obstacles are thrown in our paths.
> > >> >
> > >> >The accelerating irrationality of work systems translates into bank
> > >> >tellers, customer service reps and government workers who are less
and
> > >> >less informed about their product. They make more mistakes with less
> > >> >knowledge about how to correct them ---and forced to cover up their
> > >> >ignorance and blame the customer.
> > >> >
> > >> >All of this reinforces us to distrust each other, to be vigilant and
on
> > >> >the defensive even outside work. Where do we get relief?
Unfortunately,
> > >> >the norms of most churches and community support organizations--even
> > >> >unions--are just as authoritarian and full of contradictions for the
> > >> >people who work there. Most of us do not yet have the skills and
> > >> >consciousness to risk creating intimate collaborative community
cultures
> > >> >when we are surrounded by the opposite everywhere else.
> > >> >
> > >> >Daily we try not to see homeless people on the streets, not to hear
> > >> >stories of people treated poorly by the health care system, or
assaulted
> > >> >by the police. We are too terrified of being in their shoes to look
at
> > >> >what's happening. Instead, we draw in our resources and protect
> > >> >ourselves. We are driven, manipulated and controlled by fear --
which
> > >> >keeps us from thinking creatively, being open-hearted, or feeling we
> > >> >have much left to offer each other.
> > >> >
> > >> >Lack of Community Support Forces Us to Adopt an Image
> > >> >
> > >> >A friend of mine recently joined a group that formed community. The
> > >> >people in the group helped each person question their assumptions
about
> > >> >themselves, about the power in the group, about their personal
limits.
> > >> >My friend told me of the great relief she felt when she was able to
come
> > >> >to trust the group to take on the responsibility of her life with
her --
> > >> >that she no longer felt the burden of having to live up to her own
ideal
> > >> >to feel good about herself. Her good feelings about herself came
from
> > >> >the vitality of the group, of sharing problems and solutions, and
from
> > >> >giving up worrying about her image (how she appeared to others in
order
> > >> >to be accepted).
> > >> >
> > >> >After I spoke with her, I had a major realization. I have long known
and
> > >> >often heard that Americans live in a "narcissistic" culture,
addicted to
> > >> >image, and that this addiction separates people from real connection
to
> > >> >themselves and to each other. Now I see clearly that systemic lack
of
> > >> >community and real connection forces people into an addiction to
image.
> > >> >I see that people, all of us, are forced to inflate our sense of
> > >> >self-importance as a compensation for the lack of meaningful
connection
> > >> >to others. We are obsessively self-involved with our image because
we
> > >> >have no one to relate to in a real way, including ourselves.
> > >> >
> > >> >What is "narcissism" and what do I mean by image? In our book, Work
> > >> >Abuse, we talk about managers who create an ideal self, and they
won't
> > >> >tolerate feedback that challenges that ideal. Their subordinates
become
> > >> >good at lying to protect bosses from the pain they'd feel if they
had to
> > >> >face facts that contradicted their self-image -- and the rage and
blame
> > >> >they'd direct at us if we were the messengers of the real facts.
> > >> >
> > >> >Why is the manager so caught in this ideal image of himself? He is
> > >> >avoiding the emptiness he feels inside, which is the absence of
> > >> >self-worth that's not based on performance. He developed this empty
> > >> >worthless feeling as a child when he learned from his parents and/or
at
> > >> >school that his real unique self, his own needs and feelings were
> > >> >useless and unacceptable. Only his performance mattered.
> > >> >
> > >> >We have all met such managers; we have all seen politicians and
movie
> > >> >stars who fit the same description. They are in love with their
image,
> > >> >because they have nothing but shame for what's inside. The key to
their
> > >> >condition is the lack of genuine connection and relatedness when
they
> > >> >were kids.
> > >> >
> > >> >Do we all live in a narcissistic culture because of our childhoods?
The
> > >> >systemic answer is that we are forced into a narcissistic solution
to
> > >> >the lack of relatedness we feel at every stage of our development
> > >> >socially. Even if our caretakers were able to connect with our
feelings
> > >> >in a supportive way, we lost that support in school, where we were
> > >> >taught to perform, to buckle to authority, to learn to be helpless,
to
> > >> >become acclimatized to the conditions of the workplace waiting for
us.
> > >> >The lack of community support for us and our parents caused us all
to
> > >> >feel competitive, isolated, struggling for worth growing up.
> > >> >
> > >> >Look at the ideology, propaganda, myth about American self-reliance
and
> > >> >individualism that surrounds us. We are taught to place value on
going
> > >> >it alone, to deprecate need and vulnerability, to idealize status
and
> > >> >performance, to romanticize the tragic hero or anti-hero, to worship
> > >> >competition, and to denigrate group membership. Groups in the U.S.
are
> > >> >seen as faceless masses, mobs and mediocrity. Most of my clients
feel
> > >> >more worthless about being "ordinary" than about being "bad."
Everything
> > >> >is about excelling and standing out from the group; nothing about
> > >> >belonging and sharing.
> > >> >
> > >> >To turn isolation into something heroic fits the "black is white"
> > >> >disinformation code of the currently censored media, to keep us
> > >> >believing in and hooked on a phony ideal which we can only succeed
at by
> > >> >eradicating our hearts completely. Many in my profession of
> > >> >psychotherapy feed the myth by tacitly blaming the individual,
> > >> >especially the individual's childhood, for problems which are
systemic
> > >> >and current -- and our social isolation is as much part of
everyone's
> > >> >mental health problems as our abusive workplaces.
> > >> >
> > >> >We Have to Breakthrough A Fantasy of Psychotic Proportions
> > >> >
> > >> >Our current trans-organizational situation is deadly because the
> > >> >narcissistic denial of our leaders, top managers, and those of us
who
> > >> >emulate them and want to be like them. Psychosis is the inability to
> > >> >differentiate fantasy from reality. American society now lives a
fantasy
> > >> >so extreme that it threatens our very lives.
> > >> >
> > >> >Top managers are in psychotic denial when they allow their companies
to
> > >> >go under because it is too threatening to their rigidly protected
> > >> >self-image of control and their dream of success to hear from
> > >> >subordinates what the problems are and address them in time to save
the
> > >> >situation.
> > >> >
> > >> >We are all in psychotic denial when due to speed up on the treadmill
of
> > >> >daily life we don't confront the assaults on our freedoms, and we
don't
> > >> >admit how bad work abuse is getting. Presently, as things get worse,
we
> > >> >hang on tighter to whatever we've been doing -- we do it harder,
even
> > >> >though it isn't working, rather than to stop, look at the situation
and
> > >> >take action to prevent what's inevitable.
> > >> >
> > >> >It will take great courage for each of us to come down from the
dream
> > >> >image of status, power, and the consumerist escape of credit card
debt
> > >> >to deal with the pain of real life losses and limits we live with.
We
> > >> >have to face the fear of disintegration, the disappointment,
> > >> >disillusionment and emptiness that comes from giving up a drug --
even
> > >> >when the drug is the myth of the American dream. The more discrepant
the
> > >> >dream fantasy becomes from harsh reality, the harder will be our
fall.
> > >> >If we are willing to take this step together, if we are willing to
break
> > >> >the silence, we have a chance of beginning the hard work of building
> > >> >community and bringing back into our lives a sanity that we have to
> > >> >become willing to fight for.
> > >> >
> > >>
> >
>
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