Lynne, It is such a relief to know that someone, somewhere really does know how I feel. I try not to complain around my family but sometimes it just subconciously comes out without me wanting it to. It's hard to be strong for the sake of others when you feel so bad so much of the time(like every minute that you are awake). I just get sick and tired of being "sick and tired". I have always been such a active person, most times working 2 jobs and doing things with my children, occassionally going out, always loved to entertain friends and family and now I can't even do basic house cleaning around my home. The emotional part of living with cml is taking me down as well as the physical part of it. And I have always been a fighter, and now I don't have the energy to fight. I live in fear that the cml is going to take me out, and how unfair to have to spend your last days like this. Sometimes it just overwhelms me. And it's not just the cml, you've got all the other stuff in life going on. My husband left me about 2 months after I was dx'd, which we did get back together after a 6 month seperation but things just aren't the same anymore for either of us, and I don't have the energy to devote much to the relationship if you know what I'm saying. So the cml and gleevec have changed my life in every way possible. And when I'm not hiding in the bathroom crying, I'm mad as hell at the world. I feel as though something inside me has died. Nothing interests me....not even Christmas. I could probably force enough energy over several days to decorate for Xmas but just have no interest. I am depressed and I was taking lexapro but my primary doctor changed it to Paxil CR just this week. I type all of this about myself and when I reread it, I can't believe I am burdening everyone with my problems. I have never been one to complain like this. Forgive me but thank God you're here!
Lynne, thank you and all the others for all the info. My main concern is: you basically have to pack up and move to where ever the trial is located and I don't know if I could afford fininacially to do that. How long do you have to stay? I am on disability and living from one month to another on SS. Sorry for the long post. Love, Peace, & Hope, Pat ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Make a clean sweep of pop-up ads. Yahoo! Companion Toolbar. Now with Pop-Up Blocker. Get it for free! http://us.click.yahoo.com/L5YrjA/eSIIAA/yQLSAA/8zSolB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> New! Sign up for local CML support group meetings in your local community at http://cml.meetup.com Apply for Commercial Real Estate loans online and submit your deal to dozens of hungry lenders in just minutes. Loan programs for all types of business and commercial real estate. Apply anytime at http://realestatezoo.com CML (Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia Support List) --------------------------------- Part Of CMLHope.Com An International Community Of CML Patients For more information: http://cmlhope.com Post Message: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subscribe: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Unsubscribe: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Change To No Mail/Web: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Change To Digest: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Change To Email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] List Help: [EMAIL PROTECTED] CML Group Web Site http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CML Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CML/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
