Hello to all my friends and family. I hope everyone is enjoying the summer season and their health as much as humanly possible. I still read the posts every 2 or 3 days but I notice activity is still considerably low compared to when I came on board in 2004. I don't have much input anymore...for 2 years I was constantly glued to the computer reading everything I could find about CML and this group was my main page for info which I am so grateful for. I'm slowly trying to wean myself from reading anymore as I guess I know all there is to know...it's like reading the same book over and over but my heart goes out to all the newbies...and to all of us oldies too so it keeps me interested enough to keep reading the posts. I don't feel like I can explain things to the newbies as well as some of the others, so I just remain silent but you all are still in my thoughts and prayers, and I still cry when a newbie joins or an older member is struggling. I still feel tremendously blest that if I had to get something, it was CML and there was Gleevec to keep me alive....I want to live for my family and when I say that I think of the song, The Dance, but I will say this I have paid one hellava price and suffered to the point that sometimes I just don't know if it's worth it. Gleevec has played havoc with my life. I must say that the side effects are not near as severe as in the first year and a half but they have never went away. It's something about it, it just doesn't set well with my body. I still have no appetite, it still makes me sick, my bones hurt, I get cramps all over my body, my head hurts constantly, I'm nauseated and I am taking other meds for all the side effects, of which dosages have been increased over time. I literally force down what I eat just to take my meds but I have no desire for food. And in spite of this, I am starting to gain weight. My stomach stays bloated and it is such misery. My daughter is 5 months pregnant and I look as pregnant as she is. (By the way, the anticipation of being a grandmother has been the best thing to happen in my life for quite a while; REALLY EXCITED!) And as if the CML isn't enough to deal with, I'm also struggling with COPD and menopause. I'm more terrified of the COPD now than I am the CML and the menopause is really taking over my life. Well, I stopped by to let everyone know I was thinking of them...and to let you know I'm still a CML warrior, and really didn't mean to do all this venting....sorry! I know things could be a lot worse, and I still have a lot to be thankful for but it would be so nice to just "feel good" every once in a while. The spring and summer I love so much...and all winter, it's all I think about...and it is so hot and humid here where I live I can't get out much except around 7pm or later because I can't breathe. Keep the faith, Keep up the fight..... Love, Peace, Hope & Prayers, Pat Reynolds
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