-Caveat Lector-
Carlene,
I appreciate your interest in my take on the French "culture". I must
confess, I have no hard evidence to support the statement that the buttocks
of the average Frenchman are indeed physically capable of playing any
bellows-driven instrument. However, I can attest that wherever you walk on
the cruddy streets of Paris, you CONSTANTLY hear that goddamn accordion
music playing. It's enough to make you sign up for the Luftwaffe. Regarding
the chef's hat theorem... If you take your average chef's hat, and then were
to compress it maniacally down on your head, you would be the proud wearer
of the most lopsided fashion idea in world history: THE BERET! Lastly, the
phrase "mime sucks ass" is not merely an observation or a statement of
vitriol. It is a bona fide fact. Let us examine the harsh truths of mime,
and together we will learn why it does indeed suck ass.
1) Mimes wear tight pants, horizontal striped shirts, and suspenders. -
This is an outfit that was chic in 1983 when it was worn by Mork from Ork,
but in the 1990s is only fit to be worn by someone who has broken out of an
insane asylum. Yet mimes flagrantly walk the streets in this getup and think
that they are making an artistic statement. Conclusion: If an art form
requires you to dress like a jerk, it sucks ass.
2) Mimes paint their faces stark white with that stupid teardrop on their
cheek. - Face-painting is something that shabby hotels offer to parents who
want to dump their kids somewhere while they go snorkeling. All kids hate
face painting, as it is annoying and always poorly done. The end result
always makes the poor child look like John Wayne Gacy. Conclusion: Face
painting sucks ass. Mime employs face painting. Therefore, mime sucks ass.
3) Mimes do stupid and annoying hand and body motions and try to pass it off
as art. - What is the appeal of watching some fool walk around with their
hands in front of them like their stuck in a box? Or climbing a mountain in
a windstorm? This has zero entertainment value. Now, if they really were
climbing a mountain in a windstorm, that would be entertaining. There is
also the chance that they would be blown off the mountain. One less mime.
Conclusion - Waving your hands around like a fan dancer with the DTs and
calling it art sucks ass.
4) Mime bother people on the street and occasionally employ annoying props
(whistles, balloons, etc.). - If I'm minding my own business walking to work
or whatever, the LAST thing I need is somebody in my face pretending to
catch an invisible ball in a paper bag and bleating a whistle in my ear.
It's the sort of occasion that the Tazer was designed for. And when the pass
that hat around, it really makes you wish you could puke at will.
Conclusion: Annoying innocent bystanders with loud sounds and second-rate
entertainment sucks ass.
There you have it, my friend. In a nutshell, the reasons why mime sucks ass.
I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions and answered any questions you
may have had about the world's WORST form of expression.
Warm regards,
JB
> ----------
> From: Carlene M. Wojahn[SMTP:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> Reply To: Conspiracy Theory Research List
> Sent: Monday, January 11, 1999 11:05 PM
> To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Subject: Re: [CTRL] [[CTRL] Vive La France!]
>
> -Caveat Lector-
>
> "Brown, Jeremy" wrote:
>
> > -Caveat Lector-
> >
> > The French are all vulgar troglodytes who rarely bathe and stink of
> rancid
> > coffee and fetid wine. Those stupid berets look like deflated chef's
> hats.And
> > that freakin' Eiffel tower looks like an Erector set that was never
> finished. It
> > probably isn't finished. They were too busy laying down in the
> > gutters like DOGS as the Panzer tanks rolled over their stupid
> > accordion-playing asses.
>
> We need documentation here did they really have accordion playing a@@es if
> so
> please give the url ? Also need the url about the beret that was a chefs
> hat as
> well....please document.
>
> lol
>
> Carlene
>
> >
> >
> > "Oh-ho-ho, Messeiur Heetler, ze citee of Paris is yours for ze taking!"
> >
> > Mime sucks ass.
>
> Need to document this too.
>
> Carlene
>
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DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER
==========
CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic
screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! These are sordid matters
and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright
frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects
spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL
gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers;
be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and
nazi's need not apply.
Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector.
========================================================================
Archives Available at:
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