[CTRL] Rabbi Atlas castigates Kansan

[PM Kansan1225]

    "Good morning and welcome to 'Mosquitoes Tomorrow',
KPRC-TV's weekly newsmaker show.  I am your host, Dominique
Sachse.

     "Today we are visiting with Rabbi Eric Atlas of Congregation
B'nai Tubal-Cain in west Mosquitoes.  He is also a representative of
the Mosquitoes chapter of the Anti-Defamation League, the ADL.
Rabbi Atlas would like to talk to us about a serious new threat to
the Mosquitoes community."

     Rabbi Eric Atlas:  "Quite correct, Dominique.  Over the last
two years a quote-virus-unquote has invaded our Bayou City,
threatening all peace and tranquility.  I am talking about the
renegades camping out at the Catholic Protest compound and,
especially, that troublemaker, Kansan1225.  Law enforcement
officials (LEO) have tracked him for over more than two decades at
many of the world's hot spots and now he is in our city."

     Dominique Sachse:  "What do you think attracted Kansan
here?"

     Rabbi Atlas:  "Well, LEO think that his target is the Bush
family, the former President, the Governor, and even Mrs. Barbara
Bush, La Bruja, as this madman calls her, if you can imagine.  We
at the ADL feel that he may have been attracted to our area by the
perceived climate of hate associated with the Jasper chain dragging
case back in June 1997.  It may be that Kansan thinks that the
people here are likely to welcome his divisive message."

     D.S.:  "What factual basis do you have for your concerns?"

     R.A.:  "Well, right now American children at the Catholic
Protest compound, as young as third-graders, are forced to learn
the infamous "Protocols" of Nilus in the original Russian.  It is a
clear case of child abuse that Texas Child Protective Services, the
CPS, needs to investigate."

     D.S.:  "But could this be just a case of tough love?"

     R.A.:  "It is very clear to any objective observer that Kansan
promotes the old discredited theories about a  world-wide Zionist
Masonic conspiracy.  We think he may have access to Arab oil
money to spread this kind of propaganda."

     D.S.:  "In the interests of full disclosure, I would like to point
out that both Rabbi Atlas and myself are members of the
clandestine Luciferian Masonic (CLuM) Lodge Yellow Rose No.
1377 in Kingwood."

     R.A.:  "Quite correct, Sister Dominique, and we are proud of
our charitable activities.  As you know, my wife Rhoda is very
active at all the Rosicrucian bake sales that the Lodge organizes, all
for good and worthwhile causes."

     D.S.:  "What do you think of the movie?  Kansan's latest book,
'Fight all CLuMs and especially P. & U.K.E.', is about to be made
into a movie and both of us figure in the action."

     R.A.:  "It is beyond belief that responsible film industry
executives would even consider this kind of a project."

     D.S.  "Have you heard who is going to portray you, Rabbi
Atlas?"

     R.A.:  "I heard it is going to be Ed Asner.  I guess I could have
done worse.  How about you, Dominique?"

     D.S.:  "You know what?  They were considering Linda
Evangelista for my part, but my agent managed to get them to let
me play myself.  I have always dreamed about being on the silver
screen.  TV is OK, but Hollywood is the real big time.  This could
be my ticket out of Mosquitoes."

     R.A.:  "That is another shameful agitation by Kansan, calling
our fair city of Houston Mosquitoes.  He likes to throw mud at
everything and everyone.  My attorneys are looking at all the
scurrilous allegations he has made about my daughter Cleito and
her husband, the promising young Rabbi Tyrone Gutierrez."

     D.S.:  "Oh, by the way who is supposed to play Cleito?"

     R.A.:  "She was hoping for Cindy Margolis, but the producers
have settled on Monica Lewinsky.  Well, that's showbiz for you.  At
least, Monica has great name recognition.  Luckily, the part of
Tyrone will be played by Will Smith in a cameo appearance.  I'll tell
you what, if the movie bombs, it will be the fault of nobody else,
but that madman, Kansan1225."

     D.S.:  "And on this note we have to say good-bye.  Thank you,
Rabbi, and we invite all our viewers to join us again next week for
the next edition of 'Mosquitoes Tomorrow', if I'm still here."