--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Rick Archer" <rick@...> wrote: > > Hilarious Curtis. I really think you could be some sort of spiritual Dave > Barry if you could find the right outlet.
Thanks Rick. Glad to get a chuckle! > > > > From: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com [mailto:FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com] > On Behalf Of curtisdeltablues > Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 11:45 AM > To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Help a Saint - Lose Your Badge > > > > > > So I'm walking to the dome trying to keep my cashmere shawl out of the Iowa > cow pie infused dust (as everyone knows I'm a never miss dome guy), and I > pass by an Indian man with Shiva-like Dreads (you know the other Rastas) and > he is whimpering at his hand. As I get closer I see that he has a large > thorn stuck in his palm. His other hand is being held up by an atrophied arm > in the air for tapas to garner a boon from the capricious gods who have the > lust for the bizarre like a judge in the first rounds of America's Got > Talent when they cart out all the wackos to traumatize them in front of a > national audience. > > So you can imagine how conflicted I felt knowing the POLICY. I mean the guy > can't use his atrophied arm and I never go anywhere without a pair of > tweezers due to my policy of preemptive attack on my uni-brow, so I am > obviously the right guy to lend a hand. But I don't want to let the world > down if I get bounced from the dome so I don't jump right in but ask him > "excuse me sir but do you happen to be a saint?" > > "Why yes, I am considered a saint in my Shaivist tradition for my years of > tapas and the fact that I walked here from India on the ocean floor using my > extreme pranayama techniques that allow me to breath like a fish. I am so > close to my Lord that I even indulged in a bit of a menage with Parvati and > him one time after one too many chillums on Mt. Kailash. Could you please > help me kind sir and remove this thorn so I don't have to stop my arm > holding which is highly pleasing to the Lord and is among his youtube > favorites?" > > Thinking about the weight of the world on my own shoulders with my dome > responsibilities I had to think quickly. I remembered an old Navajo Indian > (I know Native American, Native American) trick I had read about once and > proceeded to give it a try. I ran away sticking my fingers in my ears and > saying "LA LA LA LA LA LA", and sure enough I soon found that his voice > faded in the background just as the ancient story described. (Note to self, > try out their method of squaw acquisition from neighboring village next) > > So I am getting closer to the Golden Orbs and am with great restraint NOT > referencing them as huge golden ta-tas because I have used that joke here > one too many times, when I hear a tiny voice that seems to be coming from an > open well. As I approach I distinctly hear a female's voice coming from the > well alternating devotional bhajans with pleas for help getting out of the > well. "Sonovabitch, not again" I hiss to myself. Having learned something > from my last encounter I didn't lean into the well so she could see me but > just shouted "Are you a saint?" > > A tiny voice responded "yes kind sir I am known as the hickey saint and my > followers are all marked from my divine cherries on their necks. Having > identified another threat to my own divine mission of saving the world while > leaning against a backrest I thought fast. > > Making crackling noises with my mouth I said "I'm sorry you are breaking up, > please call back later when I am out of this dead zone." > > Quite pleased with myself I hoofed it to the dome, got in a fight with a new > guy who tried to take MY spot (my back rest serves as a mighty mace when > swung properly), adjusted my comfy shawl around my shoulders, and promptly > fell asleep. > > Just another day in the life of the man who is saving the world. > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com > <mailto:FairfieldLife%40yahoogroups.com> , Denise Evans <dmevans365@> > wrote: > > > > Â Of course one doesn't "have" to spend a dime....I was thinking of the > word "helping a saint" in the larger context. Â I helped myself in the > production to keep things running smoothly in that I did some simple kitchen > duty. > > There was encouragement to spend $$, of course...donate to the > organization..purchase educational materials, etc. Â That's O.K. Â > > > > --- On Tue, 6/28/11, Ravi Yogi <raviyogi@> wrote: > > > > From: Ravi Yogi <raviyogi@> > > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Help a Saint - Lose Your Badge > > To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com <mailto:FairfieldLife%40yahoogroups.com> > > > Date: Tuesday, June 28, 2011, 2:18 PM > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Â > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com > <mailto:FairfieldLife%40yahoogroups.com> , Tom Pall <thomas.pall@> wrote: > > > > > > On Tue, Jun 28, 2011 at 11:30 AM, Denise Evans dmevans365@ wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't pretend to understand....but how does one "help" a saint > > > > anyhow....except for giving $$ perhaps to organization. > > > > > > > > How did your visit to Amma go? > > > > > > > > - > > > > > > > > > > It depends on the Saint. SSRS requires no help. There's no > orchestration. > > > Saint Amma, OTOH, requires lots of logistics to handle the multitude, > > > change money in the temple, run the store, help out at initiations, cook > and > > > serve food, herd the multitude, get people in position then out of > position > > > as quickly as possible for their hug and Ma, Ma. Gotta shine her silver > > > crown and all that stuff. Heck, a visit from Amma makes a visit from the > > > Pope look tame and uneventful. > > > > > > > > > You liar, you don't need to spend a dime to have Amma's darshan. > > >
