Hi Obba, I like your story. I could tell many like that from when I was younger (not women pestering me and finally dating them (ha-ha), but having my mind made up until I engaged and actually learned something about the other person, and myself).
My experience is that intuition often works, but that intuition in support of judging others unfavorably rarely does. I call it a variant of magical thinking, or alternatively, arguing for one's limitations. I can understand truly having no interest in someone else. What I don't get is those who endlessly and insufferably letting us know how they only saw the upper quarter of the back of the person's head, and by that figured out X, Y and Zed. Why the game of "footsie" all the time? Such tentative social behavior seems synonymous with the same attitude spiritually. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, obbajeeba <no_reply@...> wrote: > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, turquoiseb <no_reply@> wrote: > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, turquoiseb <no_reply@> wrote: > > > > > > * Message View in the Yahoo Web reader. Without it, I > > > might have had to read 237 posts since this year began; > > > with it I bothered to read only 42. You who read them > > > all, or worse got sucked into arguments about them, try > > > to imagine how much pettiness I managed to avoid that > > > you didn't. > > > > Message View is not to be underappreciated IMO. > > > > It's like you're sitting at a nice, cozy bar in > > front of the fire and someone comes up and tries > > to engage you in conversation. The first words > > out of their mouth often tell the story; you are > > either interested in them and what they are "on > > about" in the moment, or you're not. My experi- > > ence is that if one's original impulse to not to > > get terribly involved with them, it's almost > > always a mistake to ignore that impulse. > > > > Once you've gotten to know the personalities on > > FFL, I find that you can tell almost everything > > you need to know about a post from the Subject > > line and the first few words of it that you see > > in Message View. If the person is selling some- > > thing, you see that in the first few words. If > > the person is acting out some petty grudge or > > revenge fantasy, you see that in the first few > > words, too. Plus, if you've spent any time at > > all working on your intuition, you can feel the > > poster's *intent* in writing the post. > > > > These last few months I've learned to make a game > > of Message View. I scan it and try to get a feeling > > for what each poster is "on about" in this particular > > post. If I know their trends here over time, I tend > > to trust that first impression and often don't bother > > expanding the post. But if it's a newbie, or someone > > with a record of having said a few interesting things > > in the past, I click on the post anyway, to see how > > it relates to the impression of it I gleaned from its > > first few words. I find that my first impressions are > > rarely wrong. > > > > I find this an interesting exercise, and recommend > > it to those who might also find it interesting. > > But if you enjoy reading every word of every post, > > or even sadder, feel that you "should" or "have to," > > I wish you well with that. > > > > Hey, thanks for sharing, and "authoring," the obvious. : ) > > Sometimes first impressions can be deceiving. I remember a young man who > used to annoy the shit out of me while working at an unspecified place. I was > in my teenage years (and not far past that now), and the young man drove me > insane with his horrible jokes, and comebacks and he was around the corner at > every minute when I would walk through a swinging door. His awareness was > sharp as he did his duty at the unspecified place of business. > A year or two of this about drove me crazy, but he was nice. > One day, he asked me to go to a show with him (he had a girlfriend he loved, > who I never met, but saw pictures of her in his wallet when he showed me.) > thinking he was trying to pick up on me all the time, and I was repulsed by > his behavioral nerdy-ness, I said yes, reluctantly. I went with him to a > music show, and we had a blast and he did not try to touch me, or kiss me, or > anything weird or kinky. > My experience with all the other young men at that time had always been my > grabbing for the door handle(if I was not interested), when they would leap > their bodies at me when they got horny. > Anyways, he and I, just had a great time together. I wished I still had > contact with him, he was a really nice guy with horrible joking manner and > the joking manner became less annoying once I saw past what I thought my > intuition was telling me in the first place. He was a gentleman and I am > thankful for ever having met him, as a friend. I never felt uncomfortable > with him when we went to do fun things on a regular basis, afterwards. > So there, Turq. >
