Ann, wonderfully insightful post to Share. You pitched her softballs right across the plate. Too bad the batter remains on the sidelines. http://youtu.be/Mjh7XQNZcIQ
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Ann" <awoelflebater@...> wrote: > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Share Long <sharelong60@> wrote: > > > > Ann, I've been working on this during Saturday morning, as I can. I do > > read your posts. Sometimes I skim longer posts no matter who the poster > > is. Anyway, I especially chortled at your quip about my fat ball working > > so good that you're calling it my mind. And my faith in humanity etc. was > > totally restored by your recent posts to Steve and your humorous but > > unmalicious comments to various peeps > > "Totally restored", well that is no small thing. Imagine. But, did I also > make you totally lose your "faith in humanity"? At any rate, I am glad you > are feeling better about the human race and about me. > > . Plus the wonderful exchange between you and Xeno. > > Yes, that was a good exercise for me and with someone who I find is without > intent to smack you down while interacting. That can be a nice reprieve > around here sometimes. > > > > Now, about past posts as you discuss below, what to say? I think you also > > made some good points and were IMO writing in a balanced way which I > > appreciate a lot.    > > > > > > But perhaps we should cut to the chase about my accusing Robin of > > psychological rape. BTW, did you notice that in a recent exchange with > > Curtis Robin himself used that term in relation to you? But maybe he was > > being ironic. I often can't tell. > > I just looked that paragraph up and he was being ironic but he was also > giving a nod, a quiet acknowledgment of what he knows I went through, what > many went through and consequently (my reading) what he has gone through. I > do not think Robin is under any delusions about the power of what many > experienced during their time 25-35 years ago that was often hurtful and even > damaging. It is a complex subject Share, and a personal one. > > > > And did you see where Judy said to Steve that sometimes Robin pushes people > > so that they become more interesting to interact with? With reference to > > that, I would say that psychological > > rape > > is pushing WAY too much. > > Well it would be if something WAS actually psychological rape. Just for one > minute let me explore, on the spot, what I would define psychological rape to > mean. Physical rape is the violation of a person's (man or woman as rape > victim) body, in particular the sexual organs of one or more people are > forced upon another unwilling to engage sexually with the violator. During a > rape there is penetration and often violence in the form of bruising, > cutting, bleeding. The rape victim is traumatized and brutalized and often > carries these psychological and perhaps physical scars with them their entire > lives from that moment on. > > So, let's see if we can figure out the equivalent scenario with psychological > rape. Right off the bat, I am having trouble being able to call almost > anything "rape" when it comes to the mind. I think one can be manipulated, > brainwashed, undermined to the point of panic and loss of self worth. Someone > can say an infinite amount of things to us that can generate an almost > infinite amount of reactions in us. Can they "rape our minds"? I guess if we > let them "in" they could. There are certainly lots of people with terrible > intentions who love the idea of disturbing the psychology of another. But > here is the thing, physically we can be overpowered but mentally? No one can > force their way into your mind, at least not in the same way as they can your > body. But, of course, it can come down to semantics here and one could > definitely make an argument for a psychological rape having happened to them. > But it would have to be more than just, "He raped my psychologically." But, > you have explained what you meant in the next paragraph: > >  And as I said last > > year, what I meant by psychological rape is that Robin continually and > > without equivocation, attributed thoughts and feelings to me that I wasn't > > having. That's still how I define psychological rape and I still think > > Robin was doing that then. > > Ohhhh. Well, I am not sure that "penetration" actually occurred then. I mean, > people do this here all the time Share. You and I could look at just the > posts today and attribute the same thing happening in over half of them. We > are always projecting on each other what we think others intentions and > feelings are/were when we read and respond to something they say. I dare say > Robin WAS attributing thoughts or feeliings he perceived you might have been > having at certain times. But I also believe the time in question was > something to do with some Russian flash mob thing and you took exception to > something he said but then he apologized and explained what he meant. You > have to admit, you won't find too many rapists doing THAT. > > I think in the interest of moving past this, and the only way to do this is > to be truthful and honest to yourself (at least), is what? Perhaps to be > willing to retract or admit where maybe it got blown way out of proportion? I > am not sure Share because you have to do what only you know to be right if, > in fact, you do anything at all. But I do know, and I know you do too (oops, > attributing), that you have to do or say or think what you can best determine > is the most "right" for you , right now. > > > > > OTOH I wish I hadn't got so upset with him then and also on Sept 6. > > Interesting day for me, September 6. That is the day my sister drowned over > 27 years ago. > >  I also wish that he had acted differently. I also wish that Judy had > acted differently, and you and Emily and Ravi and RD. > > What did we do? Perhaps life/people were merely acting as a kind of echo > chamber or sounding board or created a sort of instantaneous feedback > mechanism. Not that I mean any of the people you mentioned were necessarily > right but just that they DID respond and you can use that kind of thing to > figure things out. Think of it as one of those hard-to-take life lessons. > Again, not that these people necessarily meant to give you a lesson but > whatever happened, happened and you can run with it and get something > positive from it. > >  I now realize that we were all doing the best that we could. And I think > you and Emily and I would act differently now because I've seen us do just > that. I definitely don't think Judy would act differently. And I'm not > sure if Robin would act differently. > > Well, I think here you are looking around at an awful lot of people when all > you really need to be looking at is yourself. Everybody else has their own > challenges, problems, things to keep them busy in this rather interesting > life. Keep it focused where it needs to be. You can't control anyone else and > I think it is hard enough to figure out what you want to do, just for > yourself, let alone worrying about what others are getting up to or learning > from some event. > > > > Questions: what do YOU think I should do at this point, especially given > > what you and Robin think about my apologies? And do you think any attempt > > at reconciliation should be done online or offline? > > I think life is a process. I think you have to do what you know, in your > heart and gut, to be right. At this point it may well be nothing. But I do > know that there is a perfect answer out there and I am not the one to be able > to give it to you. Reconciliation is a good thing. Empty apologies are not. > Reconciliation is only possible if you had to travel somewhere to reach those > really important places in yourself that would allow you to move past where > you are now - somewhere new and probably unknown. I think the fact that you > made this post is a great indication of a willingness to take all the crazy, > interesting, volatile feedback we experience at FFL and make something > delicious out of it - like fresh sourdough bread for instance. > > > Share   > > > > Part of what Ann wrote in thread called parsing a la FFL archives: > > I agree that posts are a snapshot in time of a moment, an opinion, a > > reaction, an interaction, belief or emotion or a combination of the > > above. A post was/could be valid for whoever wrote it at the time they > > were writing. Posts are not something that need to haunt, condemn or > > limit us as human beings. We can change our minds, our views; our > > emotions come and go (as you state below). I think what I object to on > > occasion, and this applies generally, is when someone fails to admit > > that they did say something or were feeling a certain way as clearly > > evidenced by their thoughts in words in their writing. One can regret > > having written something or they can explain it or they can admit > > certain things or they can fight like crazy to try and make it seem like > > the post was somehow 'lying'. I am someone who likes others to be > > truthful about their motives or their opinions and to admit if these > > have changed or were, in fact, what they appeared to be at the time of > > their posting. If there was a misunderstanding between posters then work > > it out. I think 25% of what become arguments here are based on > > misunderstandings and not some malevolent intention by members here. > > snip > > I think Judy has a very clear and analytical mind. I would want her on > > my side if it came down to a court of law and I was on trial. But I > > don't think Judy believes Robin to have been "helpless victim" in your > > interaction. > > > > > > ________________________________ > > From: Ann <awoelflebater@> > > To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com > > Sent: Saturday, April 20, 2013 9:01 AM > > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Post Count Sat 20-Apr-13 00:15:02 UTC > > > > > > > >  > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Share Long <sharelong60@> wrote: > > > > > > Buck, congratulations about the new lambs.àNow about this FFL as > > > European soccer league suggestion, here's another idea:àDON'T READ > > > THE POSTERS YOU HAVEN'T ENJOYED READING IN THE PAST! > > > > Ah, but where is your optimism for the future? Your faith in humanity? Your > > willingness to be shown a former curmudgeon is, in fact, a really kind and > > loving person? Does this mean you might be left with only person's posts to > > read in a few weeks? Is this what a true warrior princess would do? Does > > this mean you don't read my posts?! Or are you just giving Buck sage > > advice? (Just goofing around with you Share, don't take me seriously.) > > > > àDuh!àBob's your uncle!àI threw in that last sentence because I > > learned it from my British buddy and Britain is sort of European.àAlso > > dear Buck, there has been a local pizza chain in Iowa City called Bob's > > Your Uncle.àAll in all, everything's nicely unified dontcha think? > > > Waving at you from Bamgambhrini, > > > Share behind the Sweet Spot > > > _______________________________ > > > From: Buck <dhamiltony2k5@> > > > To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com > > > Sent: Friday, April 19, 2013 11:09 PM > > > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Post Count Sat 20-Apr-13 00:15:02 UTC > > > > > Dear FFL owner; how's about if you won't drop the post limit to 30 posts > > per week and thereby improve the posting environment here that way we then > > treat this problem here like they do in European soccer leagues and send > > top posters to the bottom league and bring some bottom posters to the top. > > [?] Like, look at last week's top posters. Out of common courtesy anyone > > with any decency would have taken their personal bickering and conversation > > like that off-list between themselves privately. But say to protect the > > FFL list we proactively re-set the postings such that the top posters, say > > the top three (3) posters and send them to the bottom for the next week; of > > any one week that the preceding week's top three posters make only posts > > just as much as the bottom three posters of the preceding week here. > > >
