---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <noozguru@...> wrote :
Well, you got into the "game" much earlier than I and stuck with it much longer than I did. I didn't do TTC until 1975 and taught a few courses after I returned in 1976 and then about a year later it was announced that courses should given over to MIU graduates, who being young, lacked experience in life and were like robots teaching. Local folks didn't take to that so along with the fee hike, the announcement of TM-Sidhis, initiations began to drop. Plus, I was a bit "peripheral" to the local movement and hung out with people who taught yet had careers. They also liked to check out other organizations and books and I was well advised to keep such explorations "secret." Plus before I started TM I had already tried some other techniques including Advaita ones. I tried TM to see what an "official" mantra might do. I didn't find out how "unofficial" those mantras were until I returned from TTC and read up on them in a book on the Vedas, mentioning they were often practiced by Hindu couples before having sex! :-D They are good for Sex! I'm NEVER MISSING A MEDITATION FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, or any sex. I LOVE IT! :-D (that's My Name) P.S. While I was having sex a fight seems to have broken out between Steve and Mike. What's it over? What's happened? Who started it? I may be able to intervene here. Interventions anybody? On 09/13/2014 09:44 AM, Duveyoung wrote: I guess I do come off as "blaming" more than I should. Cuz, hey, Willy's right that if I had had any integrity, I would never have allowed myself to be, what?, abused? by the TMO. But, hey, again, TM was SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME THAT INTEGRITY! I was and am still easily interpreted as wacko -- depends on the frame through which you're looking at my stuff. From some frames, I pass muster, but others.....yessh. I never had a good plan for life -- always just running to the next safe place where I could maybe get my shit together. Always with exigencies pushing me down the road instead of following my bliss. Fingers always crossed that the technique would change me before everyone found out how thick the mask I wore was. I really was a true believer for a while there, and during that time, THEN, how the TMO handled me could be described as fraudulent, abusive, etc. When I put my faith in you -- give you personal power over me as I did with Maharishi -- the betrayals are all the more bitter....because, of course, it is so hard to clearly take ownership of ones part in the debacle. After 5 - 8 years, all the initiations, ATRs, yeah, from then on, it was me "holing up" and "hiding out from real life" to a great degree. By then I'd seen clearly that the assholes of the movement were merely normal assholes that had come the to movement and had never been psychologically improved, and never would be improved fast enough to justify bending a knee to their non-enlightened "intent to do Maharishi's work." But by then, I knew myself enough to know I didn't resonate with the "normal life" offerings extant, and so the years flowed past as I waited and hoped I'd get the clarity to target something better...or at least more attainable than enlightenment. Meanwhile the kids were in a school that I could trust more than a public school, I had a dozen irons in the fire for making money in FF, and I had a nice social life and community. There were no other places for me-in-my-fix to go. Or so I thought....as time passed, karma came and forced me into various "partial" clarities. And of course, anyone evolves given decades of life processing, so all the issues of being in the cult were very transformative as much as any other kind of life would have been. This wisdom-via-aging is then very hard to separate from "wisdom gained because of TM." -- and the TMO of course took credit for the least titch of anyone's improvements. Grrrrrrrrr.
