And I recognize some (a few, not like pages) of Mr. Pall's comments
are racist (more implied than stated I think, "my views are in line
with the Aryan Nation").
Yes, I agree, there certainly is a lot of ambiguity in being in line with the Aryan Nation. To help resolve that ambiguity I imagine he'll be getting bar-mitzvahed any day now.
And the surface irony of his self-improvement
journey with such. But to fly off in wild directions again, I don't
see much grounds to ridicule him.
Of anyone, I think he has been the most frank on this list, honestly
stating a self-recognition that he severe problems, stemming from
severe and prolonged childhood abuse.
There are plenty of ways of dealing with that, some more effective than others, depending on the person. I have a funny feeing, though, that spouting bigotry isn't one of them.
And I am awed by his, to me,
heroic and constant search for things that will help heal such. He has
outlined so many "trips" seeking healing. Its informative and
astonishing.
What's astonishing is that after so much seeking, if that's what he's done, he has pretty much seemed to stay right where he is.
That he goes through a seekers syndrome (which is perhaps quite valid)
of thinking his "new" cure is better than his last is understandable
-- I can certainly relate to that. And should not diminish the fact
that a "next" cure may be found at a later time, that is thought to be
the "best" so far. Isn't that what an odessey and search is all about.
Trying things, holding on the the effective, prioritizing the better
from the lesser, etc.
And that from time to time, he has a "healing reaction" to his
therapies is not in the least bit surprising. TMers I think call it
unstressing. Doctors often say "this is going to hurt some before it
gets better". Rolfers (an old body/mind therapy) go through intense
pain to get better. Go to they gym and you get sore before you get
stronger. Do AV and you have to have some yucky enemas before you get
balanced. Are "healing reactions" any surprise to any of us?
And some of Tom's comments and gyrations may simply be a reflection of
where he is at. Not a "healing reaction" but a real expression of a
person who has some issues. And quite self-acknowledged issues. Which
I find refreshing. Most people I encounter who are "screwed up a bit"
my self included, have difficulty facing and admitting it. I applaud
Tom's straightforwardness.
Is it our common practice to ridicule someone with a boken leg? "Hey
look at the gimp -- the way he hops and wobbles is soooo funny!" With
cancer? with a bad heart? Then why are we so quick to ridicule someone
who admits to some psycho-social disabilities (and as if we all have
none), is so "on the program" in terms of pursuing therapies that he
finds to works, in a constant, regular and systematic way? I find his
fortitude inspiring.
Tom asks for it, Anon. He sends hit-and-run posts and then ridicules people even *before* they respond--kind of preemptively, I guess you could say. I can't believe that is part of your definition of seeking. I hope not.
So his "present" state is not perfect. Whose is? So he has a "healing
reaction" now and then. Who hasn't. So his core personality may not be
totally in synch with ours (whose is?).
When I read Tom's posts, I just can't dwell or focus on his, IMO
fairly short, rants and "oddness". It just seems so transitory. I find
him to be a bit of a courageous (taking a hard look at himself) and
dedicated (keeps climbing that hill of healing) guy. Why laugh at the
infirmities?
And other than his short interludes of "whatever", he provides a lot
of good information ahd often humor.
I must have missed those posts--really. To me they are all attention-seeking and about at the level of your average high-schooler (no insult meant to high-schoolers, of course).
Sal
