--- Patrick Gillam <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

> --- Peter wrote:
> >
> > projective
> > identification. The person in question
> unconsciously
> > projects a unintegrated/disowned aspect of their
> > personality onto others and provokes them into
> > responding/behaving in accord with that
> unintegrated
> > part. People have a tendency to "go off" on the
> person
> > in question thus perpetuating the abuse he
> experiences
> 
> This reminds me of a problem I've noticed in myself.
> 
> I've found myself treating people the way they I
> suspect 
> they wish to be treated, rather than in a way that
> reflects 
> my ideals. 
> 
> I recall an example from years ago when lurkman and 
> I just got done sledding on a hill in front of a
> museum 
> that was showing a slavery retrospective. We're
> white. 
> As we piled our gear into the car, a black man came 
> out of the museum, reasonably and visibly upset. His
> 
> car was parked next to ours. I opened our car door 
> carelessly and it bumped the rubber bumper of the 
> black man's car. He jumped out, furious, and
> examined 
> his car for damage. Thank God I hit the rubber, and 
> there was no scuff. But did I explain? Did I
> apologize? 
> Did I try to palliate his outrage? No. I thought of
> it, 
> but decided, "He wants to feel put upon. I won't
> spoil 
> it for him."
> 
> I felt like I was part of a larger matrix and had no
> 
> individual will.
> 
> We drove away without a word.
> 
> I marvel at my assholeness to this day.

We're all marvelous assholes at times, aren't we? Like
when I'm driving along singing a bhajan and a guy cuts
in front of me, brakes too hard or does something to
violate my driving ideal and I scream at him and give
him the finger. Ha! What a jerk!  



> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> --------------------~--> 
> Ever feel sad or cry for no reason at all?
> Depression. Narrated by Kate Hudson.
>
http://us.click.yahoo.com/CQDrNC/ubOLAA/d1hLAA/0NYolB/TM
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->
> 
> 
> To subscribe, send a message to:
> [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> 
> Or go to: 
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/
> and click 'Join This Group!' 
> Yahoo! Groups Links
> 
> 
>     [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> 
>  
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 


__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around 
http://mail.yahoo.com 


------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> 
Need Help?  Get Help! Tools and Strategies for Healthy Drug-Free Living</a>.
http://us.click.yahoo.com/wI.OUB/dbOLAA/d1hLAA/0NYolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~-> 

To subscribe, send a message to:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

Or go to: 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/
and click 'Join This Group!' 
Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
    [EMAIL PROTECTED]

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
    http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
 




Reply via email to