--- Patrick Gillam <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> --- Peter wrote: > > > > projective > > identification. The person in question > unconsciously > > projects a unintegrated/disowned aspect of their > > personality onto others and provokes them into > > responding/behaving in accord with that > unintegrated > > part. People have a tendency to "go off" on the > person > > in question thus perpetuating the abuse he > experiences > > This reminds me of a problem I've noticed in myself. > > I've found myself treating people the way they I > suspect > they wish to be treated, rather than in a way that > reflects > my ideals. > > I recall an example from years ago when lurkman and > I just got done sledding on a hill in front of a > museum > that was showing a slavery retrospective. We're > white. > As we piled our gear into the car, a black man came > out of the museum, reasonably and visibly upset. His > > car was parked next to ours. I opened our car door > carelessly and it bumped the rubber bumper of the > black man's car. He jumped out, furious, and > examined > his car for damage. Thank God I hit the rubber, and > there was no scuff. But did I explain? Did I > apologize? > Did I try to palliate his outrage? No. I thought of > it, > but decided, "He wants to feel put upon. I won't > spoil > it for him." > > I felt like I was part of a larger matrix and had no > > individual will. > > We drove away without a word. > > I marvel at my assholeness to this day. We're all marvelous assholes at times, aren't we? Like when I'm driving along singing a bhajan and a guy cuts in front of me, brakes too hard or does something to violate my driving ideal and I scream at him and give him the finger. Ha! What a jerk! > > > > > > ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor > --------------------~--> > Ever feel sad or cry for no reason at all? > Depression. Narrated by Kate Hudson. > http://us.click.yahoo.com/CQDrNC/ubOLAA/d1hLAA/0NYolB/TM > --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> > > > To subscribe, send a message to: > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > Or go to: > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ > and click 'Join This Group!' > Yahoo! Groups Links > > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around http://mail.yahoo.com ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Need Help? Get Help! Tools and Strategies for Healthy Drug-Free Living</a>. http://us.click.yahoo.com/wI.OUB/dbOLAA/d1hLAA/0NYolB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
