--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "authfriend" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, cardemaister <no_reply@> > wrote: > > > <snip> > > Well, in my understanding the main criterion of > > Asperger's is poor social skills. That's also > > the most frustrating feature of my character, > > for myself at least. For instance when I listen > > to e.g. four or five people conversing during > > a family celebration, I feel totally outsider, > > because I can't follow the conversation. > > Almost like listening to a totally foreign > > language. People are laughing at what someone just said, I have > > no idea whatsoever what they are laughing at. > > And stuff like that. > > I'm not sure this is a problem of "poor social > skills," though. Is it possible that it's > social *anxiety* that interferes with your ability > to focus on what people are saying? > > > One might think that's weird, but my possible linguistic > > talent is IMO confined primarily to analyzing linguistic > > structures. My ability to understand spoken language > > seems to be way below average. > > Again, though, I'm not sure that has anything to > do with Asperger's per se. It sounds more like > a sort of audio-dyslexia. > > Goodness knows your ability with *written* language > is way above average!
Why, thanks! I think that's because time is not a crucial factor when one is writing. It's really weird that sometimes I feel it's easier for me to write in English than in my own language. It's no wonder English is so popular all over the world. I don't recall ever seriously having studied English, but if I had to try to write something in Sanskrit, which I've tried to learn much more than English, that would remain a hopeless attempt, I'm afraid. > > In any case, since I know you only via how and what > you write, I don't really have anything useful to > offer. All I can say is, over the years I've > gotten the distinct impression that you worry about > yourself too much--and I should think that anxiety > could very well interfere with your "live" social > interactions. > That might well be true. I can recall that during my siddhis flying block, or whatever, eating with over a hundred other people was most of the time really mentally painful, but during the last days, when I think most people started hopping, the atmosphere somehow softened, and I occasionally enjoyed eating ice-cream with a couple of other participants. A couple of years back an AV-consultant told me that my basic health is good, but something (obviously extremely traumatic) has happened at some point of my life. I recently realized what that might have been, but I don't have any kind of recollection of that incident. My mother is dead, so I can't ask her about the details of that probably quite a traumatic event. But that might explain why over the years especially women have asked me what I'm afraid of. I'm not usually even very clearly aware that I'm afraid of them. After my siddhis course when I did the program regularly at home, I noticed that babies started to smile at me. One totally stranger even called me "father" on the street! So, I don't know what might have happened if I'd continued to do the siddhis regularly, but the negative consequencies were so annoying that I lost my motivation to do them. I felt that my karma started to ripen too fast, or something.
