--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "amarnath" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > Namaste Jim, > > Thanks for a very refreshing account with minimum labels and > conclusions. Simplicity seems to be a good pointer toward reality. > > Especially your last three paragraphs impress me that your awakening > is in the right direction and genuine from what I understand from > Ammachi, Papaji and others. > > Your account has some similarities with one( of many ) common patterns > that I have been reading about: spiritual practices, gathering > knowledge, having experiences, perhaps siddhis, and finally some sort > of letting it all go because it all seems somewhat burdensome and > complicated compared to the underlying simplicity of stillness/beingness.
The sense of I am gets unbelieveably burdensome. The harder I tried to define who I was, the less I liked myself, or the less satisfaction I derived from my attempts to explain myself and life in terms of ownership. Death of the self ultimately was preferable. Big time. No comparison. > Eckhart Tolle's path was a little different but still similar. He was > searching for the meaning of life in academics which provided some > happiness alternating with deep anxiety and depression. He said that > suffering was his teacher and finally " `I' cannot live with `myself' > " was the impetus for the inquiry "Am `I' two or one?" and LETTING GO > which resulted in the reduction of 80% of his mental thoughts. Yes, there is far less thinking that goes on to maintain the illusion of keeping everything in place. > Letting go was not a choice, it was God's Grace, in my understanding. That is what it must be. > > Sitting in Bliss on park benches for about two years followed. Then, a > gradual integration and balance followed. I didn't sit on park benches, but apparently this sense of freedom without integration is common after the sudden awakening. If I read back some of my postings here from that time (~April-August 2005) they are characterized by freedom but not necessarily integration. The integration piece took me by surprise. After shedding the identity I had built up over a lifetime, or more, I then saw that this realized Self, this Being, now had to continue to operate in the world. So the phase after enlightenment is one of integration, integration, and more integration. I characterized it once as before enlightenment there is seeking and after enlightenment there is finding. After enlightenment, successive stages of enlightenment occur within the already established state. All the dynamics of life ride on the back of enlightenment, though there is still so much to know and learn and be challenged by. It is by no means a static state, though appears that way prior to its establishment. In his case the letting go > was primary and then, the simple spiritual knowledge( relatively free > from past ) followed later. What Eckhart teaches is relatively free > from the past, religions and traditions and accounts for his > popularity. Of course, the essence of his teaching is the same because > truth is one. > > One of Amma's statements is that a time will come, after enough > spiritual effort and enough suffering, when one will lose all grasp on > wealth, health, finances and spiritual practices themselves; then, > there will be no choice but to surrender the ego completely. This may > sound too drastic and perhaps not necessary for everyone; or perhaps > allegorical. But, then again "to completely surrender the ego > completely" is perhaps a goal not reached any other way? Just a > thought for the time being. What she is saying that we loose our identifying with any of that. It becomes unsatisfying and superficial. Not that we must suffer poverty and ill health in order to reach a point of non-attachment. Having said that, it is sometimes such experiences which speed our development of an enlightened state. > > Papaji points out that genuine awakening occurs when everything, all > concepts, all beliefs, everything is surrendered completely, at least > for one moment. He warns that preconceived concepts about higher > spiritual states can be a trap, because, as the mind becomes more > powerful on the spiritual path, the mind will create these conceptual > higher states( different levels and all that ) and the ego will feel > it has arrived. The "ego" will feel that it is God. Yes, that is something I had to discern once I had taken the Siddhis and began to have powerful experiences, and my mind became so powerful. But as I wrote earlier, after awhile I recognized it as a bunch of BS and it was preferable to die than continue to put up with all that crap. TM was very effective on destroying that illusion because the transcending kept my illusions about myself superficial, so that always in the back my mind I knew I wasn't "there" yet. On the other hand my feeling like God experiences were also shortened in duration by TM because I would transcend out of them fairly quickly, so that TM practice was very good in continuing to kick my butt until the process was done. > > It seems that was the case with a Rakshasa like Ravana who was very > adapt at spiritual austerities and siddhis. And perhaps explains the > fallen/false spiritual teacher scenerio. > > Jim, if you haven't read Papaji's "The Truth Is" and "Nothing Ever > Happened" I highly recommend these. > > "The Truth Is" provides hundreds of ways in which to flush out all the > nooks and crannies where the ego can hide. See especially page 399 > "Sadhana: There is no Becoming Being" > > "Nothing Ever Happened" is an excellent biography. Papaji was a family > man, a military officer, and managing engineer. His self realization > started at age eight and matured in his 30's? when he met Ramana. > Before that he did plenty of spiritual practices on his own. So, > obviously, the "awakening" that he talks about has to be understood in > the proper context; perhaps not understood but felt by ones Beingness. > His mother was a sister of one of India's great sages. > > Again Jim, thanks for Awakening and blessing all of us with your > simple, clear and genuine account. > > Gob Bless, > amar Thank you!
