Michele and all the wonderful members of this group,
I am sorry I have not written in a while, but it was a
very hard holiday and I haven't really had the
emotional strength to post until now.
The last time I posted, Buddha was having his best
week since being diagnosed with lymphoma at the
beginning of December. He was back to his old self
and acting as if he was feeling fine, however four
days before Christmas he took a serious turn for the
worst. The tumor behind his eye quickly began to
cause the eye to bulge and protrude out of the socket
and the pressure it put on his little brain began to
effect his other neurological functions. He
completely lost his appetite, the ability to see in
either eye, and to walk. Although he was conscious,
he was fairly catatonic and had pretty much completely
checked-out by that point. We talked to the vet and
she said that there was no getting better from that
point and also that the eye would soon either pop out
on its own, or we would have to have it removed, which
we did not want to him to have to go through. So on
the 23rd we made the excruciating decision to help him
let go.
My mother lives about 45 minutes away in Denton, so we
buried him in the yard at her house and decided to
just spend the week there. Neither Julian or I were
anxious to get home and begin the process of packing
away Buddha's things. Having all the visiting family
in town really helped to provide a slight distraction,
especially since I couldn't go much more than five
minutes without crying for the first 2 days.
Although I knew this time would eventually come and I
was able to gather so much strength from all the
advice and good wishes from this group over the past
month, I was completely unprepared for the amount of
grief I felt. Since he lived so long without any
symptoms I think I was in denial that the day would
ever actually come.
I am almost ashamed of how lucky I feel to have had
him in my life for 14 years, and my heart truly bleeds
for those of you who lost your friends sooner and
didn't have as much time together as we did.
I will be forever grateful to all the members of this
list and honestly don't think I could have endured the
pain that the last month brought without you.
I don't know how to go about it or if it is too late,
but I would like for Buddha's name to be added to next
Monday's candle light memorial service. If it is
still possible that is.
Could someone please tell me who I should contact for
that.
Once again, on behalf of Buddha, Julian and myself,
thank you all so much!
--- [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
> Thinking of him and hoping he is still feeling
> better. Please give us an
> update when you get a chance. Having been through
> the rollercoaster of lymphoma
> several times, I really feel for you and Jen, who
> has Ewok, and think about
> Buddha and Ewok multiple times throughout the day.
> I hope he is still
> feeling well, but know there are so many ups and
> downs. Please let us know how he
> is when you get a chance.
> Thinking of the two of you,
> Michelle
>
Love is not necessary to life, but it is what makes life worth living.
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