Jon -
> Yeah, I empathize with your sentiments. Oh to see a good band, the only
> notion of a church that has ever made any sense to me and where Communion is
> served a pint at a time.
>
> Even though my left-leaning friends guarantee that my vote has been thrown
> away and I feel just as disenfranchised wrt politics as I ever have been and
> that this is only the second time in my life that I have ever voted, I feel
> angsty at the thought that my vote may not get counted. When I chat with
> other friends, equally alienated from politics, they also feel the same
> angstiness around their vote in this election. I feel brainwashed, but I am
> not entirely sure in what direction. No amount of rational argument has ever
> convinced me that voting matters, and yet, here I am, throwing away my vote
> and feeling ready to brawl.

this is very close to how I felt in 1973 as the freight-train of
conscription/Vietnam bore down on me.  I didn't trust either of the two
factions trying to persuade as to how to think/feel/act...   I had my
sympathies ( I was already a vegetarian, but still held onto the idea
that violence was a necessary evil) but in general I felt very
disoriented and brainwashed (or in constant resistance to same).   Today
I am much more suited to that kind of ambiguity... maybe that seed set
me up.  

I have wanted to ask my younger, more cynical friends (Gen
X/Z/millenial???) what I could do to trade them for their vote... I
don't mean the "sense" of their vote, but persuade them to vote.   Many
(including you as I understand your sensibilities) insist that direct
action is the only way good things happen... "doing the work"...  so if
I were not so isolated (or lazy?) perhaps I would strike a deal with a
few I find too cynical (or aware) to vote and agree to "feed a homeless
person" or somesuch in exchange for their voting "just this one".   And
maybe open a larger conversation about how we DO change the world we
have created (collectively) into one that serves us more-better
(collectively)?

- Steve

>
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