Cheese is OK with grits, especially if served with pan-fried fish and hush puppies, but it's got to the 'rat' cheese, 'hoop' cheese or strong cheddar. These are usually served to company or for Sunday and holiday meals. When using cheese, double the butter or your fork will get stuck. A. Leon Polhill, Gator "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know." - Mark Twain
________________________________ From: Helen Huntley <[email protected]> To: [email protected] Sent: Fri, February 11, 2011 12:46:59 PM Subject: Re: [gatortalk] Speaking of grits... I don't care what they say; I like cheese mixed in with my grits. On Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 9:47 AM, Jay Cicone <[email protected]> wrote: > >> >> >> >> >> >> >>What Are Grits >> >> >> >>Nobody knows. Some folks believe grits are grown on bushes and are harvested >>by >>midgets by shaking the bushes after spreading sheets around them. Many people >>feel that grits are made from ground up bits of white corn. >> >>These are obviously lies spread by Communists and terrorists. Nothing as good >>as >>Grits can be made from corn. The most recent research suggests that the >>mysterious Manna that God rained down upon the Israelites during their time >>in >>the Sinai Desert was most likely Grits. Critics disagree, stating that there >>is >>no record of biscuits, butter, salt, and red eye gravy raining down from the >>sky, and that God would not punish his people by forcing them to eat Grits >>without these key ingredients. >> >>How Grits are Formed. >> >>Grits are formed deep underground under intense heat and pressure. It takes >>over >>1000 years to form a single Grit. Most of the world's grit mines are in South >>Carolina, and are guarded day and night by armed guards and pit bull dogs. >>Harvesting the Grit is a dangerous occupation, and many Grit miners lose >>their >>lives each year so that Grits can continue to be served morning after morning >>for breakfast (not that having Grits for lunch and dinner is out of the >>question). >> >>Yankees have attempted to create synthetic Grits. They call it Cream of >>Wheat. >>As far as we can tell, the key ingredients of Cream of Wheat are Elmer's Glue >>and shredded styrofoam. These synthetic grits have also been shown to cause >>nausea, and may leave you unable to have children. >> >>Historical Grits >> >>As we mentioned earlier, the first known mention of Grits was by the Ancient >>Israelites in the Sinai Desert. After that, Grits were not heard from for >>another 1000 years. Experts feel that Grits were used during this time only >>during secret religious ceremonies, and were kept from the public due to >>their >>rarity. >> >>The next mention of Grits was found amidst the ruins of the ancient city of >>Pompeii in a woman's personal diary. The woman's name was Herculaneum >>Jemimaneus >>(Aunt Jemima to her friends.) >> >>The 10 Commandments of Grits >> >>* Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits >>* Thou shalt not eat thy Grits with a spoon or knife >>* Thou shalt not eat Cream of Wheat and call it Grits, for this is blasphemy . >>* Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Grits. >>* Thou shalt use only salt, butter, and red-eye gravy as toppings for thy >Grits. >>* Thou shalt not eat Instant Grits. >>* Thou shalt not put ketchup on thy Grits. >>* Thou shalt not put margarine on thy Grits. >>* Thou shalt not eat toast with thy Grits, only biscuits made from scratch. >>* Thou shalt eat grits on the Sabbath for this is manna from heaven. >> >>How to Cook Grits >> >>For one serving of Grits: >>Boil 1.5 cups of water with salt and a little butter. Add 5 TBsp of Grits. >>Reduce to a simmer and allow the Grits to soak up all the water. When a >>pencil >>stuck into the grits stands alone, it is done. That's all there is to cooking >>grits.(Some folks like their's soupy and that's OK) >> >>How to make red eye gravy >>Fry salt cured country ham in cast iron pan. Remove the ham when done and add >>coffee to the gravy and simmer for several minutes. Great on grits and >>biscuits. >> >>How to Eat Grits >>Immediately after removing your grits from the stove top, add a generous >>portion >>of butter or red eye gravy. (WARNING: Do NOT use low-fat butter.) The butter >>should cause the Grits to turn a wondrous shade of yellow. (Hold a banana or >>a >>yellow rain slicker next to your Grits; if the colors match, you have the >>correct amount of butter.) >> >>In lieu of butter, pour a generous helping of red eye gravy on your grits. Be >>sure to pour enough to have some left for sopping up with your biscuits. >>Never, >>ever substitute canned or store bought biscuits for the real thing because >>they >>caused cancer, rotten teeth and impotence. >> >>Next, add salt. (NOTICE: The correct ration of Grit to Salt is 10:1 Therefore >>for every 10 grits, you should have 1 grain of salt.) >> >>Now begin eating your grits. Always use a fork, never a spoon, to eat Grits.. >>Your grits should be thick enough so they do not run through the tines of the >>fork. >> >>The correct beverage to serve with Grits is black coffee. DO NOT use cream >>or, >>heaven forbid, Skim Milk.) >> >>Your grits should never be eaten in a bowl because Yankees will think its >>Cream >>of Wheat! >> >>Ways to Eat Leftover Grits: (Leftover grits are extremely rare) >> >>Spread them in the bottom of a casserole dish, >>Cover and place them in the refrigerator overnight. >>The Grits will congeal into a gelatinous mass. >>Next morning, slice the Grits into squares and fry them in 1/2" of cooking >>oil >>and butter until they turn a golden brown. >> >>Many people are tempted to pour syrup onto Grits served this way. This is, of >>course, unacceptable. >> >>TRADITIONAL BLESSING BEFORE EATING GRITS >> >>May the lord bless these grits, >>May no Damnyankee ever get the recipe, >>May I eat grits every day while living, >>And may I die while eating grits. >> >>AMEN >> >> >> >> > -- >GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! >1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions >2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions >2008 National Football Champions | >Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), >Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us -- Helen Huntley (727) 823-3801www.helenhuntley.com -- GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions 2008 National Football Champions | Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us -- GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions 2008 National Football Champions | Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us
