You have been added to my prayer list. A. Leon Polhill, Gator "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know." - Mark Twain
________________________________ From: Jerry Belloit <[email protected]> To: [email protected] Sent: Fri, February 11, 2011 12:59:50 PM Subject: RE: [gatortalk] Speaking of grits... Me too! I am famous for my cheese grits! (I have not been able to duplicate the Blackstone Brewery Gouda Grits, however. I think it is because they use Crème Fraiche and I cannot get that here. They do use smoked gouda cheese.) Jerry From:[email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Helen Huntley Sent: Friday, February 11, 2011 12:47 PM To: [email protected] Subject: Re: [gatortalk] Speaking of grits... I don't care what they say; I like cheese mixed in with my grits. On Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 9:47 AM, Jay Cicone <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > >What Are Grits > > > >Nobody knows. Some folks believe grits are grown on bushes and are harvested >by >midgets by shaking the bushes after spreading sheets around them. Many people >feel that grits are made from ground up bits of white corn. > >These are obviously lies spread by Communists and terrorists. Nothing as good >as >Grits can be made from corn. The most recent research suggests that the >mysterious Manna that God rained down upon the Israelites during their time in >the Sinai Desert was most likely Grits. Critics disagree, stating that there >is >no record of biscuits, butter, salt, and red eye gravy raining down from the >sky, and that God would not punish his people by forcing them to eat Grits >without these key ingredients. > >How Grits are Formed. > >Grits are formed deep underground under intense heat and pressure. It takes >over >1000 years to form a single Grit. Most of the world's grit mines are in South >Carolina, and are guarded day and night by armed guards and pit bull dogs. >Harvesting the Grit is a dangerous occupation, and many Grit miners lose their >lives each year so that Grits can continue to be served morning after morning >for breakfast (not that having Grits for lunch and dinner is out of the >question). > >Yankees have attempted to create synthetic Grits. They call it Cream of Wheat. >As far as we can tell, the key ingredients of Cream of Wheat are Elmer's Glue >and shredded styrofoam. These synthetic grits have also been shown to cause >nausea, and may leave you unable to have children. > >Historical Grits > >As we mentioned earlier, the first known mention of Grits was by the Ancient >Israelites in the Sinai Desert. After that, Grits were not heard from for >another 1000 years. Experts feel that Grits were used during this time only >during secret religious ceremonies, and were kept from the public due to their >rarity. > >The next mention of Grits was found amidst the ruins of the ancient city of >Pompeii in a woman's personal diary. The woman's name was Herculaneum >Jemimaneus >(Aunt Jemima to her friends.) > >The 10 Commandments of Grits > >* Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits >* Thou shalt not eat thy Grits with a spoon or knife >* Thou shalt not eat Cream of Wheat and call it Grits, for this is blasphemy . >* Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Grits. >* Thou shalt use only salt, butter, and red-eye gravy as toppings for thy Grits. >* Thou shalt not eat Instant Grits. >* Thou shalt not put ketchup on thy Grits. >* Thou shalt not put margarine on thy Grits. >* Thou shalt not eat toast with thy Grits, only biscuits made from scratch. >* Thou shalt eat grits on the Sabbath for this is manna from heaven. > >How to Cook Grits > >For one serving of Grits: >Boil 1.5 cups of water with salt and a little butter. Add 5 TBsp of Grits. >Reduce to a simmer and allow the Grits to soak up all the water. When a pencil >stuck into the grits stands alone, it is done. That's all there is to cooking >grits.(Some folks like their's soupy and that's OK) > >How to make red eye gravy >Fry salt cured country ham in cast iron pan. Remove the ham when done and add >coffee to the gravy and simmer for several minutes. Great on grits and >biscuits. > >How to Eat Grits >Immediately after removing your grits from the stove top, add a generous >portion >of butter or red eye gravy. (WARNING: Do NOT use low-fat butter.) The butter >should cause the Grits to turn a wondrous shade of yellow. (Hold a banana or a >yellow rain slicker next to your Grits; if the colors match, you have the >correct amount of butter.) > >In lieu of butter, pour a generous helping of red eye gravy on your grits. Be >sure to pour enough to have some left for sopping up with your biscuits. >Never, >ever substitute canned or store bought biscuits for the real thing because >they >caused cancer, rotten teeth and impotence. > >Next, add salt. (NOTICE: The correct ration of Grit to Salt is 10:1 Therefore >for every 10 grits, you should have 1 grain of salt.) > >Now begin eating your grits. Always use a fork, never a spoon, to eat Grits.. >Your grits should be thick enough so they do not run through the tines of the >fork. > >The correct beverage to serve with Grits is black coffee. DO NOT use cream or, >heaven forbid, Skim Milk.) > >Your grits should never be eaten in a bowl because Yankees will think its >Cream >of Wheat! > >Ways to Eat Leftover Grits: (Leftover grits are extremely rare) > >Spread them in the bottom of a casserole dish, >Cover and place them in the refrigerator overnight. >The Grits will congeal into a gelatinous mass. >Next morning, slice the Grits into squares and fry them in 1/2" of cooking oil >and butter until they turn a golden brown. > >Many people are tempted to pour syrup onto Grits served this way. This is, of >course, unacceptable. > >TRADITIONAL BLESSING BEFORE EATING GRITS > >May the lord bless these grits, >May no Damnyankee ever get the recipe, >May I eat grits every day while living, >And may I die while eating grits. > >AMEN > > > > -- GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions 2008 National Football Champions | Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us -- Helen Huntley (727) 823-3801 www.helenhuntley.com -- GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions 2008 National Football Champions | Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us-- GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions 2008 National Football Champions | Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us -- GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions 2008 National Football Champions | Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us
